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Original poster

Unfortunately can’t go on holiday because of cruise lines policy

648 replies

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 11:24

Hi all,

just wanted other peoples opinions please as it’s really getting to me.
So a cruise was booked for my dads partners 70th all paid for by him as he wanted us all to go, which was extremely generous from the start.
A few days ago we found out I can no longer go as will be 24 weeks pregnant and the cruise line won’t accept pregnant ladies at 24 weeks pregnant or more.
Very upset and disappointed by the news but stated my partner and our son along with my 2 girls from a previous relationship could all still go which only leaves me missing out.
Partner then states he wouldn’t be taking our 2 year old son as he would be too much hassle and wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself and relax, his he grandad who paid for the holiday also agrees with this. I am very upset and saddened that my little boy would be such an inconvenience to them.
Also to add to this my father in law decides to invite his friends instead which also means my girls missing out too. I know he paid for all this so it’s his decision but still upsetting to let them down.
So basically now my partner is still going, along with his father in law, wife and his friends and me, my son and my girls are left at home on a holiday we were supposed to go on.
Am I being unreasonable to kick up a fuss about this? How would other people feel?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
ExercicenformedeZ · 21/07/2025 21:20

Whatado · 21/07/2025 21:12

I would 100% expect my husband to stay home if he couldn't travel with our toddler if it was my father's birthday trip rather than me take him by myself.

Its his father. Not the OPs.

I also would expect if we were going away with my in-laws to celebrate one of their big birthdays that I would be doing the bulk of the childcare.

I would expect my husband to show me the same courtesy for my parents.

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That's far too sensible a response. We can't have that on this site, it wouldn't please the misandrist element.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:22

@TipsyFairyHici clarified to you in earlier post that is my partners dad (my father in law)

OP posts:
llizzie · 21/07/2025 21:25

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 21/07/2025 20:25

Why should the other adults be responsible for the OP's and her husband's children?

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They shouldn't. The OP's DP should stay behind and help his partner care for his own family, not let his parents carrying him off on a holiday he cannot afford to buy for them..

When wealthy pensioners single out their son for a cruise holiday away from his own family of 10 years, and he accepts it and leaves his DP to go it alone, there is something seriously wrong in the relationship.

There is no excuse for dishonesty. Perhaps it is a prelude to not wanting the pregnancy and preparing to live elsewhere?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds 2nd trimester Families General pregnancy
party4you · 21/07/2025 21:26

TipsyFairyHic · 21/07/2025 21:18

BUT this cruise is for the PARTNER of your FIL.

What does she have to say?

My idea of a Zero Birthday nightmare would be a 'surprise cruise' which included the young children of my stepson, his step children (although I don't know if OP is actually married) and God knows who else!

Are you having a laugh?? It’s for her FIL. As has been said many times.

Snoozebuttonplease · 21/07/2025 21:27

I think your partner is a shit to not want to look after his own son on a family trip, especially as it means your daughters lose out too.

You however get to look after all of them while he's off on his holiday. You don't say how your pregnancy is going, but I was still in the throes of morning sickness and exhaustion at 24 weeks, so would have needed support with a two year old.

llizzie · 21/07/2025 21:28

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:22

@TipsyFairyHici clarified to you in earlier post that is my partners dad (my father in law)

Ignore them. They are winding you up.

MascaraGirl · 21/07/2025 21:31

I can see why the father in law who is also not a biological grandad to the girls, wants to enjoy the expensive cruise holiday with friends rather than with two teens who is not related to and a 2 year old who can't even enjoy any of it and won't remember it while the mother stays at home.

This! And having just come back from a cruise - a cruise ship is no place for a 2 yr old

llizzie · 21/07/2025 21:32

Hedgehogbrown · 21/07/2025 18:26

It's his Father. Not his Father in Law! Stop calling him his Father in Law.

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What does it matter whose father it is? Why make a meal of it? To make the OP even more upset than she is already?

A man is won over by his wealthy parents to take him on a cruise with them, knowing that if he accepts he will be leaving his family behind.

If you cannot work out from that who the father in question is, then I feel sorry for you. I had no problem with it at all, and I certainly would not make capital out of it and upset the OP.

PurpleThistle7 · 21/07/2025 21:33

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 19:12

@CopperWhitethe purpose of this holiday originally was a fun family holiday for us all. The cruise ship had lots of things to do for children of all ages. No my 2 year old won’t remember but it would have been fun with the pools, play areas ect as well as exploring new places.
i am just disappointed to let me older girls down after they have been so excited. You don’t think this is letting them down? I am also upset that my partner refuses to take his son.
Of course I wouldn’t want my FIL to loose money, it’s his choice, he can invite who he wants, he paid for it. Am not selfish at all. I told everyone else to still go and me to stay at home, so only I miss out but no that’s not what he wants.
If I was going away to celebrate my parents birthday (which are unfortunately no longer alive) then there would be no question my children would be included. Just a sad set of circumstances thats all.

unless your son is totally potty trained he wouldn’t have been allowed in the pools anyway and he’s not old enough for the kids clubs so it would just be your partner and a toddler nonstop all day. It really doesn’t sound ideal for anyone. If your son was older or the girls were younger then I’d see the point, but it really doesn’t sound like a great setup for many days of single parenting. It sounds like no one looked into this properly and everyone is trying to make the best of it now.

I hope you have a good week and can find something fun to do another time as a family - or, even better, by yourself! Maybe a good opportunity for a girls’ trip with your daughters when your partner comes back?

naffusername · 21/07/2025 21:33

Honestly, kids don't remember much about early holidays.

My family took an Atlantic crossing in the 60s. All I remember about it was the dogs in the kennels going for walks and my then 5 year old brother waking us all up when he was shouting "land, land" when we were approaching Newfoundland.

If your hubbie goes without all of you he's a jerk.

Whatado · 21/07/2025 21:35

Honestly this site full of absolute martyrs to motherhood.

No wonder so many women are drowning in life absolutely miserable and stressed.

Parents including fathers who manage to tear themselves away from their children and leave them in the care of their other parent for shock horror any thing remotely like enjoyment are not shit parents.

He would be a shit partner and parent if how ever he never showed the OP the same respect and courtesy by return.

Personally I would already be booking my trip away with friends after I had the baby.

If that isnt something the OP would consider because she isnt the type of person who has a life outside of her kids and partner thats unhealthy and on her.

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 21:36

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:03

@prelovedusernamethey can go with a letter of permission from myself, the cruise line already told us this.
My father in law booked and paid for the trip and declared my pregnancy, it was only last week when they sent a form out for to fill in was when we found out their policy. So yes we should have looked into policies and procedures before it was even booked.

But they couldn’t be in a cabin on their own, so what was the plan? Were they expected to share with a man (your DP) and a toddler?

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:41

@MascaraGirlwe are a family, biological children/grandchildren or not, he’s been in their life for 10 years and treated them like grandchildren. I totally understand he would now rather invite his friends, it’s his decision, it’s just sad that the children now have to miss out that is all.
This was supposed to be a family holiday, I know the 2 year old won’t remember but there is so much to do on the ship for children, water parks, play areas as well as exploring new places when it docks ect I was really looking forward to going with them but hey ho life goes on x

OP posts:
Tiswa · 21/07/2025 21:48

Stop protecting your partner becuase it was and his decision

he decided not to do it

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:48

@prelovedusernameWe have been on holidays abroad ect before and shared rooms with the girls. Is it so wrong for them to share with him and their brother or is this seen as inappropriate now? Would you feel the same if he was their biological dad? Either way none of the kids are going now so not really an issue anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:54

@PurpleThistle7my son is fully potty trained he is over 2 1/2. I was looking forward to taking him to have fun and explore, I don’t see him as a burden. Shame my partner doesn’t feel the same way.
We will sort something out, thank you for you input x

OP posts:
MascaraGirl · 21/07/2025 21:55

This was supposed to be a family holiday, I know the 2 year old won’t remember but there is so much to do on the ship for children, water parks, play areas as well as exploring new places when it docks ect I was really looking forward to going with them but hey ho life goes on x

Honestly OP, there were hardly any small children on my cruise. Stairs, things to fall from and railings everywhere, and heaven forbid you have cabin with a balcony. And your average shore excursion is not child-friendly

Biscoffscoffer · 21/07/2025 21:56

I don't think you can kick up a fuss about them not taking your children from a previous relationship on a family cruise. Your in-laws don't owe your children from a previous relationship anything. Theyve been incesdibly kind to even inlcude them if you were going. The only thing you could possibly kick up a fuss about is your dh refusing to take your 2 year old. But I doubt your two year old will be okay going without you anyway.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:58

@MascaraGirlthank you for the advice. Makes me feel a little better about the situation then x

OP posts:
Tubs11 · 21/07/2025 22:02

Your DP can take your son and you can plan something nice with your girls. At 24 wks why are you being lumped with having to look after your son. To promise a cruise to your family and then remove it cause you can't go is just awful. Make your partner take your son and you three do something lovely before the baby arrives. Good luck with your pregnancy!

Hithismyname · 21/07/2025 22:03

Your two year old was invited therefore they should take him. Your husband is a grown man therefore should be able to handle a two year old and not be selfish, something you can't be once you are a parent. I have taken my two year old away many times and it never been a problem. It's quite unfair. Who cares if the two year old can't remember holiday, the adults will and they should be cherished memories. Personally though I think he should not go as you can't, it takes two to tango and just because you are the one pregnant doenst mean you should miss out on the fun whilst he gets to carry on as normal. He should be your support and should be in it together.

Original poster
CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 22:04

@Biscoffscofferi know they don’t owe them anything, but we are a family biological or not and they have always included and treated them as they were.
just a shame to let them down that’s all, but fully understand it’s my father in law’s decision x

OP posts:
PopeJoan2 · 21/07/2025 22:05

party4you · 21/07/2025 16:57

No I do see the point, but she confused the story throughout and if she had been clear from the start I doubt as many people would on her side and calling her partner shit. I think it’s fair to call people out when they’re giving half a story. Sorry but I don’t just believe the OP is in the right immediately coz she’s a woman like half of MN does.

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Many of us thought op was very clear in her description of the issue from the start.

Marleygolden · 21/07/2025 22:12

Sorry, but unless there are other young kids on the cruise, a 2.5 year old is going to be an inconvenience on the trip for a single parent who is trying to spend time with his Dad. Your partner would need to take him for meals much earlier than everyone else is eating, the child is unlikely to be interested in the same activities as all of the adults, and may still need a solid nap. All of this prevents your partner spending much time with his father.

prelovedusername · 21/07/2025 22:15

CAMO1984 · 21/07/2025 21:48

@prelovedusernameWe have been on holidays abroad ect before and shared rooms with the girls. Is it so wrong for them to share with him and their brother or is this seen as inappropriate now? Would you feel the same if he was their biological dad? Either way none of the kids are going now so not really an issue anymore

I think it’s a bit different when you are all there together. I don’t know if you’ve been on a cruise but cheaper grade cabins are usually very small with little privacy. I don’t think it would be comfortable for them all to share a cabin to be honest.