Social services referral- panicked

[Panicpanicpanicpanik]

I had a call late afternoon yesterday from social services saying they’d received a call from a concerned neighbour.

They were very empathetic and loosely highlighted the concerns that the neighbours had. All four are beyond false

1. the children barely leave the house and don’t go on holiday. Well firstly surely not going on holiday isn’t grounds for intervention?! But we also literally just got back from one. The children (4 and 6) go to school, so that’s leaving the house. They also have 2 hobbies on the weekend they go to as a minimum. How many hobbies do young children need? They’re starting rainbows and squirrels next academic year too. We were careful to not overwhelm them. We also go to parks, cheap days out, more expensive days out et. But there are times we have to stay in, illness, behind with house chores (but with housework days they still go out or play in the garden etc)

2. the children aren’t fed / fed poor quality food. I don’t even know how a neighbour would know what they’re being fed. But I batch cook and maybe once a month maybe twice we have a McDonald’s.

3. tatty, unclean clothes. They’re always weather appropriate. Sure they might make mess on their clothes out and about but that’s life and they’re always clean

4. they’ve got no toys. They’ve got all the toys. But it’s given me a clue as to which neighbour reported us. The toys are kept in a storage cupboard as to not clutter the living room and taken out on rotation and when we finish we tidy and put away.

5. they also said they hear squabbling a lot, which my kids too argue and can’t really be left unattended without them arguing over something because they like the same thing and just pester each other. But surely this is somewhat normal?

as to my clue who has said this. Well we were temporarily friendly with a couple in their late 40s until they found out we’d ’taken their baby name’ for the son they never had. It had taken a while for them to find out as they’d only recently moved in and we’d been calling our son by a nickname that didn’t really bare resemblance to his actual name. Ever since they found out his name, which I’d assumed they’d known as it wasn’t a big secret, the vibe changed. They made a few funny comments, about how it’s unfair people get to have kids and they didn’t, implying people like us, and how unfair it was they had no toys. Then it came out about the name and how we took it from them and they couldn’t be friends with us anymore but would be civil. Fine. It was getting weird.

since they’ve blanked us when they’ve seen us so hardly civil but now this.

what do I do?
im overthinking and worried that making accusations now might look like mudslinging and make us look like we have something to hide?
also the things were reported for are BS right? I feel like I’m doubting myself

help

thanks for reading :)

And? How was the conversation left? Matter closed or will they be visiting?

Sorry yeah they said they’ll visit

But does that mean they come to the house and case closed, will they look around? Contact school, my work? How embarrassing

Op they won’t know whether they can close the case until they’ve visited.

they will likely refer to your children’s school too.

But if you know it’s nonsense and the school will aghast as you about the report… then you have nothing to worry about

They won’t contact work.
they will contact school

For claims such as not going on holiday? This just seems silly. Plus how can a neighbour discern what children are being fed? I just don’t understand why this wasn’t interrogated a bit

But how will the school know what I feed them at home? What home clothes they have? What we do on weekends? If they have toys?

Try not to stress, it's going to be obvious to them it's a malicious report.

nasty nasty people.

They will probably check with school/nursery if they have any concerns. I doubt they will want to see the children or you. I would raise your concerns about the neighbours when you do speak with them. Their behaviour is very irrational.

They have to investigate the claim, but if you cooperate and can show them that your children are well cared for then they will quickly realise it’s a malicious report and close the case. Don’t panic and get worked up, just answer their questions and give them whatever proof is required.

Stop. It's going to be blindingly obvious it's malicious.

its going to be obvious they're well fed, have toys, leave the house etc

stop panicking. You have nothing to worry about.

I just don’t know what to expect. You read all these cases about social services taking kids. Will they snoop around my house, I mean I’m not perfect if you look hard enough you’ll find something.

but I just don’t understand how they don’t go on holiday is taken seriously. We’ve been away twice this year (city break and summer hols in the half term). But not taking your kids away isn’t a criminal offence

but that is not the only claim is it?

have you had any dealings with with SS at all in the past? Has your partner?

Op…. If a child wasn’t being fed properly and was coming in wearing unclean clothing - the school would be concerned. If the child mentioned they didn’t have a single toy, the teacher would have asked some questions.

They said they’ll be visiting but didn’t say when, just that they’d be in touch soon.

will they drop by? My house can be a bit lived in at times

Someone falsely reported me but it was easily proven as bullshit and they closed the case after a chat at our house.

One of the allegations was that my son had constant facial bruising from beatings from his dad but the school said that they’d never seen that and he’s been attending that school for years.

They have to check just in case. Allegations like not going on holiday are silly but cooperate and it should be fine

Oh, the perennial SS harassing people who look after their kids. Nothing new here. Perhaps they should focus on people getting abused in care homes instead.

Nope nothing at all.

we have jobs that require screening too so we have enhanced dbs checks and other checks. Will this appear there?

And nothing has ever been mentioned before

Stay calm. Just be your normal self when they visit and they will see how nice your house is and how happy the children are and the allegations were blatant bullshit. They get hundreds of malicious reports all the time, they are obligated to check them out but they are used to reports being malicious so don't worry

In my school the SW sends a standard form for completion. Or even just a call asking for the information to start with.

It covers attendance, general appearance, parental engagement, any concerns.

Schools receive these frequently and the safeguarding lead will be used to it. You could pre empt and let the school know yourself if you'd prefer to.

You really have nothing to worry about by the sounds of it. And yes, not going on holiday in itself is of no concern.

You do nothing

They're shitty people

They want to get at you. You don't give them the satisfaction

Children's services will know there's nothing to worry about and case will be closed

In my case, they didn't even visit. The first time a neighbour made a malicious report, they rang, had a chat with me, nothing happened. Although in our case there was a police case ongoing with the neighbour so possibly that helped my case.
The 2nd time there was a malicious report from the neighbour they rang, we had a chat again. This time they asked my permission to ring school to check everything's ok. I gave it. Again, nothing came of it.

School will know if your children are underweight, hungry at school, clean and dressed in clean, serviceable, school uniform that fits, happy or whether they have behavioural issues or concerns, or attendance issues and if there have been any safeguarding concerns at school.

If your DC are little, there is a good chance that their teacher does know what your DC does do out of school or their favourite toys or where you went on holiday from things they have said or school projects 😂

Social services won’t care if you go on holiday or feed them McDonalds.