Please tell me what consequences you use for behaviour that is unacceptable and needs a sanction

[NotABanana]

We don't have play stations, etc so all we can take aay is the main computer and his father's old lap top. Not that is works.

We don't have anything that works atm.

Whooaa, hold up, that's two things. Easy girl.

And don't forget DS2 giggling when you were playing with him this morning, all things for the happy chart. Just make sure there is a good thing for everyone - even DH.

I have a ''happy book'' at home (my husband went through a stage of serious depression), this helped him (and probably me even more) focus on some of the nice things. We have all sorts of crap written in there!!

DS2 and DD love it. I think DS1 is disappointed that it isn't a new pet/toy.

I have bought DS1 a punch bad and gloves set. Hopefully when he is feeling cross, etc he can take it out on that and not us. I haven't given it to him yet.

The children should have staggered bedtimes IMO.
It allows the elder ones to see some benefit from being more grown up and, as previous poster said allows you to give the sanction of 'well if you are going to behave like a four years old you can go to bed like a four year old.
it also allows (deep breath) one to one bedtimes which can be an incredibly poitive time.
When DD goes to bed we talk about the day in a happy way - even if we talk about a difficult moment or two and I can discuss withher things like different ways of handling frustration etc.
A good poitive calm end to the day can be a fab thing.
DD goes to bed first and she may not like it but that is not her choice. But then she loves the cuddles and the stories so she copes just fine

Well done NAB, glad it is working.

LOs could write what makes them happy too. DHs not allowed to write anything about BJs - at least that is the rule in our house because my 5 year old is an early reader!

Keep smiling - it makes them uneasy. Only a few more hours until that G&T.
Thinking about you and sending you ''mummy power'' vibes.

Yep, my 4 year old can read too so it is def a chart just for the kids!

No G&T as have given up alcohol but nice dinner later with hubby (fancy pasta)

Ta for the vibes., Need them. Just managed to upset DD by asking her not to push me.

Pagwatch, I think you are right, a lovely way to end the day. IMO you should never take this away from him though - certainly not as a punishment. It could be your only chance to pull back together after a rough day. Surely the aim is to maintain your relationship while weathering the storms of growing up. Knowing that you love him enough to spend those precious moments with him at the end of the day will speak volumes to him - even if he doesn't show it.

Or maybe I'm one of the over liberal mums!!! Yikes. Never mind, as long as they don't put me in a home when I'm old.

Perfectly reasonable request. Give her a kiss, she'll get over it. Or fake a massive fall over and start laughing.

Yikes. How are you managing without G&T?? You a miracle woman!! I currently have mine IV. Hmm, pasta for tea sounds nice.

I am v pleased. My Best Friend rang and DS1 waited patiently while we talked. Normally I end up shouting.

I have just made them a smoothie from frozen fruit, fresh juice and milk and I am sure they would say yes if I asked if they loved me.

It is one minute at a time, really, isn't it?

Fabulous! Savour the moment and somehow put it on your chart.

Hurrah! You have the power to save them from the realms of the wilderness. You are the mummy!! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger... I think.

teebee
Don't worry - boys are now 14 and 12 so way past that time now. Ds1 sometimes in bed after me !
Even if they ever got sent to bed early I still put them to bed. And we never go to bed without a kiss goodnight. Ds1 still comes to me to kiss and hug before he goes to school and at bedtime kisses me onthe top of my head in a worryingly paternal way. But he is bigger than me now

Is it me or is that worryingly like an episode of the waltons ?

Tis on the chart.

We are having problems with ds (5) at the minute and the only thing I can withdraw that he values is attention and time.

For terrible offences he is sent to his room - very calmly with no shouting and no ranting about what he has done. When I let him out I tell him how wonderful I think he generally is and how his behaviour has disappointed me.

If he gets through a day with no issues he gets a special story and to stay up later than his sister.

If he gets through a week with no major events, then he gets a treat of his choosing.

I find that not only does bad behaviour need some sanction, but good behaviour needs lots of rewards and he needs to ge told a lot how great we think he is.

DD and DS1 have just told me I am the best mummy in the world and the best cook.

'fess up nab
you're paying them, arn't you?

. Good for you

If only I had some money! Haven't food
shopped this week.

DS1 is no on board with the chart and has written that his sister is beautiful on it.

Sniff, sniff. Well done NAB. A very good day. Keep going.

DS1 snapped and flipped again last night when DH said he couldn't go in the roof. He kicked his Dad, called him stupid and me a liar for saying he could go. I had said I would talk to Daddy when he came home as I didn't want DS1 in the roof while I was bathing the other two.

Oh well, today is another day and I will remind them we need to write something on our chart as we didn't manage it yesterday.