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Parenting

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Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

324 replies

Jenna2212 · 10/05/2025 14:12

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 11/05/2025 14:21

Roxietrees · 10/05/2025 14:49

Another poster who doesn’t like pardon or toilet! What’s wrong with these and what do you use instead? Just curious

It comes from some 1930s rules around words which indicates if a person was upper class or the looked down on middle classes (U or non U). It’s tedious shit and of no interest to anyone in the real world but MN seems to love it.

Parktrips · 11/05/2025 14:26

I agree with you OP that it is totally unnecessary and rude for people to be swearing in public so openly.
Not sure if I’m with you on confronting them, as I’d suspect the type of person who swears in front of children or just in public generally (where children may be), is not the type of person who will be reasoned with. You may be met with more curse words is what I’m saying, so I would be hesitant to.

Ichangemyname · 11/05/2025 14:28

Are you from the mid 1900s?

housethatbuiltme · 11/05/2025 14:30

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 11/05/2025 13:25

It's a demonstration of a trite, hackneyed phrase you probably saw on MN and filed away for future reference thinking it makes you look clever.

Nope its a correct phrase used in correct context of the conversation. All phrases are reused thats how language works to allow us to understand each other. What would make you look stupid is trying to be 'clever' and create your own new phrases when a perfectly apt one that everyone understands already exists.

Its like when Joey signed of his letter 'baby kangaroo' in friends, its not 'clever use of language' its pure stupidity.

Madcatdudette · 11/05/2025 14:32

Swearing has become the norm. You absolutely can tell someone not to swear in front of your children. I have done this in the past.
They are also entitled to tell you to fuck off. This has also happened to me in the past.
Lesson for me was ‘teach your child your own values’ but also ‘teach your child that not everyone shares your beliefs’

Munchymunch · 11/05/2025 14:32

I’m not a massive fan of swearing in public, especially in front of kids, but my God “only if my husband was with me” … I’d rather my kids heard swear words than this!!

Shadowsunray · 11/05/2025 14:32

Ilikeadrink14 · 11/05/2025 12:50

Charming! This is the problem - people like you who are insufferably rude, but think they are being clever!

Right back at you. People like you who think other people can't have a private conversation because your children are in the the same cafeteria are unbelievably entitled. To think confronting someone for saying shit in a private conversation is ok is insufferably rude. Your children are NOT the responsibility of everyone else.

RebeccaRedhat · 11/05/2025 14:34

Usually I'll just say to my kids, see how horrible you sound when you swear. It doesn't look.or sound nice. However, one time in McDonald's with my 5 year old daughter and 3 of her friends, there was 2 women on the next table and every other word was f or c and the place was full.on young kids. I did get up and ask them to talk a bit quieter and to read the room. Out of 30 people at least 20 were under the age of 6. No need for the language at all, and her story was about a decorator doing a great job! I did think to myself that I'm glad he was good, imagine what she'd have to say if she hadn't liked his work! A couple of the other tables thanked me afterwards as they really were offensive! I'm a geordie, calling your mate a c* means you like them so it doesn't usually bother me. I've taught my kids not to use the language and so far (at least when I'm there) they don't!

Jujujudo · 11/05/2025 14:35

I can’t comment, seeing as I swear infront of my kids!!

TheLimeQuail · 11/05/2025 14:35

There are worse things that have declined. Swearing isn’t the problem. Maybe you are sensitive to it

Parktrips · 11/05/2025 14:36

Imisschampagne · 10/05/2025 14:18

I hope this is rage bait.

Completely delulu to confront others for swearing in front of your kids if they’re not swearing at your kids.

Why assume it’s rage bait and not just a concerned mother? Obviously swearing AT her kids is worse but exposure to swear words whoever they are directed to isn’t good for children.
There’s research to show that a child’s exposure to profanity makes them more likely to use profanity in their vocabulary and also some studies show a connection between profanity use and aggressive behaviour.
I’m not suggesting OP confront them, because a) she will probably be told to F off and b) yes it’s a free country and it’s not illegal to swear. But I do empathise with her.

SharpLily · 11/05/2025 14:38

'Only if my husband was with me'? 'Rowdy licenced bar'?

Something very wrong there.

I do cover my children's ears when I hear people using 'you was' or 'I seen'. I definitely don't want them picking up that sort of language.

CantStopMoving · 11/05/2025 14:46

Jujujudo · 11/05/2025 14:35

I can’t comment, seeing as I swear infront of my kids!!

Me too! They have survived.

Sorry but how dare anyone tell someone else what they are allowed to say in public.

Jujujudo · 11/05/2025 14:47

CantStopMoving · 11/05/2025 14:46

Me too! They have survived.

Sorry but how dare anyone tell someone else what they are allowed to say in public.

That’s how I feel really. I mean my kids sometimes say inappropriate stuff loudly when we are out. I guess it’s about general attitude to life. It’s just words really….

SalfordQuays · 11/05/2025 14:47

OP I’d be more worried about my kids hearing “gotten” in England. And yes, all the “it’s old English, ill-gotten gains etc” people will come along now. But we know it’s an Americanism, which I find more offensive than “that film was shit”!

Having said that, I think the setting is relevant. I don’t expect adults to censor their language in shops, cafes etc. But if it was a child-related area, like a Soft Play or kids playground, I wouldn’t like adults shouting fuck this and cunt that. And depending on the situation, I might say something.

CantStopMoving · 11/05/2025 14:47

Parktrips · 11/05/2025 14:36

Why assume it’s rage bait and not just a concerned mother? Obviously swearing AT her kids is worse but exposure to swear words whoever they are directed to isn’t good for children.
There’s research to show that a child’s exposure to profanity makes them more likely to use profanity in their vocabulary and also some studies show a connection between profanity use and aggressive behaviour.
I’m not suggesting OP confront them, because a) she will probably be told to F off and b) yes it’s a free country and it’s not illegal to swear. But I do empathise with her.

Id love to see that research. I’ve heard actually people who swear are less aggressive as they have the outlet! Who knows! I swear quite a lot (prob more than I should!) but I don’t think I’d ever be accused of being aggressive. I think my kids would think that was hilarious as I am as timid as a mouse

Pollyanna87 · 11/05/2025 14:50

People who swear in public are inferior to those who don’t.

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 11/05/2025 14:50

I agree with you. I am not perfect. I swear in front of adults in my personal (not professional) life, but never knowingly in front of my children, or in public.

People are more vulgar and disrespectful these days.

But the kind of people who comfortably do that are just as likely to be awful and swear more if you confront them. So then the situation is worse.

SharpLily · 11/05/2025 14:51

Pollyanna87 · 11/05/2025 14:50

People who swear in public are inferior to those who don’t.

Source?

CantStopMoving · 11/05/2025 14:53

my husband was at a football match with our young son. There was another dad and 2 young daughters next to him.

that dad complained to some of the men near them about their language.

At. A. football. Match.

you couldn’t make it up. If you take your kids to football, you are going to hear some fruity stuff… quite creative stuff at times as well.

the dad eventually complained to the stewards and I think got moved. Crazy

CantStopMoving · 11/05/2025 14:53

Pollyanna87 · 11/05/2025 14:50

People who swear in public are inferior to those who don’t.

i can live with that…

crumblingschools · 11/05/2025 14:58

DH and I were walking along a pavement the other day and a young man coming towards us let rip to someone across the road. He turned round to us and apologised and said he wasn’t aiming it at us. Then turned round and carried on swearing at the other person!

greengrapesofwrath · 11/05/2025 15:06

Absolutely fucking not. No shitting way would I do it. Thank fuck you bleeped out the word “off”, though, i’m a bloody sensitive soul and that fucking horrible word is just awfully fecking offensive, especially to my DC!

Millie90 · 11/05/2025 15:07

MyOliveHelper · 10/05/2025 14:13

I don't think it's on other people to keep the world PG for children.

It's not just for children, adults possibly don't want to listen to a gutter mouth either.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/05/2025 15:09

Fuck no.

It's your responsibility to help your child navigate the world outside your home, including teaching them what is or is not appropriate language in each context.

It is not our job, as 'the rest of humanity' to sanitise the world for your child.