Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

[Jenna2212]

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

The world doesn't revolve around your children and people don't have to censor their conversations for your children or values either.

If the person was shouting profanity repeatedly in public with lots of kids nearby, I can see speaking up. Or if they said it directly to my children.

If you feel he need to shelter your children this much, keep them at home where you can control their entire world.

No. Other people are not there as props for my children's upbringing, after all.

Shouting abuse or ‘performance’ swearing for effect and to deliberately cause upset is one thing.

But two adults, saying ‘shit’ in their own conversation over a coffee when you happen to be close by? Absolutely none of your business.

The world doesn’t revolve around your children and no, other adults do not have to self-censor just because you don’t like your children hearing swear words. Teach them not to eavesdrop.

You’re being absolutely ridiculous and if you’d told me off for saying ‘shit’ in a conversation with a friend in a cafe, I think you might possibly have heard worse language than that from me in my response.

The sheer entitlement of someone who thinks the rest of us have to childproof our fucking lives just because you’ve spawned offspring is astonishing.

Pollyanna87 · Today 14:50
People who swear in public are inferior to those who don’t.
Interesting, every study on copralalic language states the exact opposite.

Gotten.

I’m a teacher. You give the school hell, don’t you?

I’d rather not have to smell Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb or see a, snotty sticky-faced toddler slobbering over a half-chewed snack in its buggy, but I don’t tell people off for inflicting that on me.

People do things I’d rather not see/hear/smell every day but I don’t expect them to modify their behaviour to suit my personal preferences, because I’m not an egomaniac and I don’t think the world has to revolve around me.

There’s compelling academic research to suggest that in fact, the opposite is true.

@Jenna2212 you lost it at Vote in the poll below and have your say.

I fucking love swearing. They're just words, what matters is how you use them.
Swearing can make language more colourful & expressive, it can be a stress-reliever, people who swear are perceived (by others) to be more intelligent and more trustworthy, or swearing can be aggressive and abusive.

Your children, if they actually exist, will have to grow up hearing other people swear in public. They can choose how to react.
As the saying goes, no-one, not even precious wee children, has the right not to be offended.
That's just the way it fucking is.

I have no fucking time for people who get offended by swearing.
Insults are different though.

I have pulled up teenage boys for swearing near to a group of 7- 8 year olds in a park once . To be fair they apologised! Would do it again in an instant, too many people don’t challenge foul language in public.

And I see @Jenna2212 Jenna the journo hasn't returned.

Omg really? They're going to hear it. If you picked me up on my language I would tell you to f* off and mind your own business whether your children were there on not. Stop being so offended and precious. It's a part of life

Surely those studies are based on extended regular exposure in the home environment, not a one off from the next table in a cafe?

Why not just explain to your children that's not how you express yourself in your family and move on? Surely there are many areas where we teach our children lessons similar to that?

Truthfully, I can't imagine thinking strangers should abide by my own set of standards. And despite being a person with my own children, who loves children and thinks they should be allowed to be children, including making noise, jumping around, playing basketball, learning instruments and chalking on pavements, I would have been completely shocked by your approach and quite possibly told you to fuck off.

Those are all just very old, anglo saxon words. People can use the range of language available to them as long as they are not using it AT you. Explain (in age appropriate terms) to the kids why you don't think those words should be used.

I’m with you OP I hate swearing, I hate hearing the constant torrent of swear words that people use, it’s as if there weren’t any fantastic descriptive words in the English language that they could choose as an alternative. It’s lazy speech used by those who can’t be bothered, or don’t have the intelligence to think of an alternative.
I knew you’d be flamed on here, which is really sad in my opinion, especially with those who have deliberately filled their reply with swear words. It says so much more about them than about you, they no doubt think it’s hilarious.
I would say they lack respect but they wouldn’t have any understanding of the meaning of the word.
We have a swear free home, probably unusual these days, but guess what, we all survive and still manage to have perfectly normal conversations, and we are very normal people!

I wish to ask the same. Gotten with has is correct .

I am with you OP but it is a sign of the times, I just find it a bit crass, I’m fine with hearing it in pubs or more adult times (say after 6), or more adult venues / workplaces. I am a bit more shocked at 9am in a soft play or coffee shop morning or when kids are around people don’t think to automatically reign it in or say as they leave work they leave that in the office.
The other day I was in a nationwide toy shop and one mum said to another mum (both pushing toddlers around) were saying f and c in every other word. Just a bit sad really that’s all the kids were hearing.

Flower bomb?! Surely not!

What's wrong with the grammar in this sentence?

Language evolves, it travels with people, it goes away and returns.

'Gotten' is the past participle of 'get' and was standard in Shakespeares era, it evolved to 'got' here, but remained 'gotten' with those who travelled to America, and has worked its way back in more modern times - over the last 30+ years.

It is no kind of 'gotcha' to claim that 'gotten' is indicative of poor grammar.

ODFOD

When I was pre-kids my DH said something similar in a restaurant and the mother at the table next to us said "Could you watch your language, the kids pick up everything at this age". He apologized and stopped using it.

When my DD was 8 I was in line at the chemist and a teenage boy behind us was saying F this and F that etc. I just turned around and looked at him. He said "WHAT" and I said "please, can you save the F words til you're outside and not standing next to younger kids" and he said "Sorry"

I don't know what the big deal is asking politely and stating the obvious.

Racial slurs yes, swear words absolutely not. I would actually probably laugh, a lot, if i witnessed one of your confrontations.

Looks like I'm in the minority, OP, but I agree with you. I have confronted people before for swearing in front of my kids. It has got me into arguments before but I really don't see why my kids should be exposed to foul language. If it was just on a pavement I wouldn't bother but if it was on a plane or at an adjacent table in a restaurant where we couldn't easily move away, I would say something. I'm a teacher and also always rebuke kids in my (senior) school that I overhear swearing. Just no need for it.There are children swearing in primary schools in Reception classes... because of what they overhear and are exposed to. It's really sad. Thankfully most of my parent-friends seem to agree.