Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

[Jenna2212]

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

Totally agree. I wish more people did this.

Yeh, I hate that phrase.

Oh do grow up. They're just words—grubby little syllables strutting about pretending to be dangerous. "Shit" isn't a magical incantation; it won't summon demons or melt your eyeballs. "Fuck" has never leapt off the tongue and clubbed someone to death with a chair leg. Wanker, twat, bollocks—they’re not curses, they’re punctuation with personality. If your worldview crumbles because someone said "bastard", then frankly, it deserves to.

I think it is an inherently British thing, not to confront people for fear of a massive kick off. I understand it but have lived in other countries where being blunt is not always connected to signs of aggression.

99% of the time no, but once a guy said “cunt” and my then 4 year old said “mummy what is a cunt?”. He turned around and looked mortified and I did bollock him a bit, but nothing major. I was also having a terrible day so it was cathartic to have a go at someone.

Language matters. Words matter. Don't believe me... crack open some Orwell. I highly recommend his essay 'Politics and the English Language' as a starting point. 👌

Anyone who says 'it's just a word' is completely ignorant. That's the same argument racist people use by the way, about racial slurs...

You don't have any kids? If they go into school using these words they get in trouble of varying degrees.

I used "bloody hell" a lot as a kid which now is milder than mild, but one friend told her mum and wasn't allowed to come to my house after that.

so strong / vulgar language has impact, usually negative.

Only in American English

No, it has infiltrated the UK fully. I've been reading "gotten" in UK literature for a while now. It surprised me when I first started seeing it and its not a word I like personally, but language evolves and as humans we have to be aware of that, or become dinosaurs ourselves.

Do your children melt when they hear a swear word? How ridiculous to expect complete strangers to care about your kids hearing the word shit 🙄

You're completely overreacting. It’s just a word. That wasn’t even being said towards them, you were being nosy and heard it.

There is lots to be worried about in life, swearing isn’t one of those things.

You’re wrong though because the words aren’t rooted in segregating people based on the colour of their skin. It’s not comparable.

There is also the argument that saying a film is shit is completely different to saying it to someone as an insult such as ‘your hair looks shit’.

They are just words. You can choose to be offended by them but they’re just words.

Everything about this post is pathetic but the 'only if my husband is with me' is just beyond pathetic. If you really feel the need to try and control what other people say in a public place (which is none of your business by the way, listening to other peoples conversations is rude!) you shouldn't need a hand hold to do so.

I would agree up to a point. But... if someone is supposedly more intelligent and loquacious if they use swearwords, (not in my experience unfortunately), that implies that they have chosen their words,

and choosing a word like cunt, twat, or pussy to describe someone bad or weak is choosing to use misogynistic language, whether they realise or not.

Hope youre not one of those mums who go down a pub with kids after 8pm outstaying your welcome? And no, I wouldn't stop swearing

@WiddlinDiddlin and BINGO, the anticipated “gotten was used in Shakespearean times”. And we’re expected to believe that when English people say “gotten” now it’s because they picked it up from all the Shakespeare plays they read. Nothing to do with Netflix and TikTok, and trying to sound cool and American. Of course not.

I’d rather English kids grew up saying fuck and shit than gotten and should of!

Chances are my kids wouldn’t be listening and tbh they hear all sorts at school. (And from me!)
if my kids repeated a swear word or asked what one meant, I’d use the opportunity to explain that they are adult words that children shouldn’t use.
But I hear people swearing as they walk down the street, in cafes and shops - all over and it’s not my job to police their vocabulary and conversations, it’s my job to teach my children right and wrong.

I do. The clever little sausage has a sense of self preservation and makes sure not to be heard by the evil grown ups when she's swearing like a sailor.

Wow genuinely can’t believe that so many people think that it is ok to swear in front of their own and other people’s children. So glad that I don’t live in the UK any more.

“Mummy what us a cunt” 😂 Did you use it as a teachable moment ? 😅

Oh dear. You must surely realise that at some point someone came up with the expression "pearl clutching" to use it the way you're using it. And well, maybe it was original, descriptive, gave pause for thought. But it isn't now. It's trite.

The overuse of it on MN is just tedious and lacking in imagination. It's as bad as "are you on glue" - which seems to have gone thankfully.

As for "What would make you look stupid is trying to be 'clever' and create your own new phrases , - that's exactly what happens- new phrases are created, and get picked up, enter mass usage and then lose any value because of overuse.

I’d rather English kids grew up saying fuck and shit than gotten and should of!

Really?! How odd.

So words don't matter. Okay. 😅🙈

Yes. I tell kids off at the school I work at if I hear them saying 'bloody hell'. My dad used to say it all the time, but we don't say it in front of our kids... and I've never heard any of my parent-friends saying it in front of their kids too.

You are of course absolutely correct in what you say here, and I was lacking nuance with my comment.

My actual position on the matter is that profanity is absolutely inert in its impersonal form. Direct it towards a person; pop a 'you' in front of it and it's rude at best. Personal attacks should only be entered into with justification.
I don't equate swearing with racist slurs, those are obviously not acceptable under any circumstances. Those do injure people.

@surreygirl1987 not odd at all. Kids know that swear words are not to be used in certain situations, and they’ll learn them in the end anyway, so it’s not a drama if they hear those words. But “gotten” is an annoying Americanism, and “should of” is grammatically incorrect, and those are terms that they would use in all conversation. So I’d be very unhappy if they started to use them. I wouldn’t want my kids to look stupid. Luckily my kids are late teens so I’m past the stage of worrying about this.