Would you confront a stranger in public who swore in front of your children?

[Jenna2212]

Picture the scene, you're in a cafeteria, you've treated the children to a cake each. They're playing and you're enjoying a latte. A woman at the adjacent table swears "the film I saw last night was sh**". She says this within obvious earshot of your children.

I've had experiences like this often. I will always confront the person who is swearing and tell them to stop and have respect for others around them, including my children. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that the use of words like that is normal or acceptable, especially in public places.

It's something that seems to have gotten worse in recent years. I was in WH Smith a couple of months ago and I heard staff telling a customer who was arguing with them to "f* o**". They said this loudly, so everyone in the store could hear, including me. Thankfully, I didn't have my children with me on this occasion. It used to be rare to hear people swear, and if they ever did, it was usually in hushed tones or perhaps a rowdy licenced bar on a Friday night. Shop workers certainly didn't do it on the shop floor.

It's sad that society has declined to such levels where swearing in public has become common.

Would you confront someone who was swearing in front of your children and request them to stop? Vote in the poll below and have your say.

Classic entitled parent who thinks they’re the centre of the world because they have kids. You and your kids share society with other people who are entitled to say whatever they want in a private conversation. It’s your problem if you overhear them. If you don’t want them to hear swearing don’t take them to shops or cafes. I hardly think overhearing someone say a film is shit is going to scar your children for life! I don’t think you’re doing them any favours by trying to protect them from this. They’re just words and they’re part of everyday conversation amongst most adults and teens. I don’t think it’s a sign that society has “declined to such levels”. Don’t put so much weight on them, otherwise as soon as your kids get to 9 or 10 they’re very suddenly going to be very shocked and uncomfortable when they hear regular swearing in the playground! Why don’t you, instead de stigmatise (most suitable word I could think of) swear words so that they learn to ignore them and not place so much importance on them? That way they won’t grow up sheltered and unprepared for the real world

No. Swear words are just words... sounds and letters that you can choose to find offensive or not, as you wish.

Personally, I think they're offensive if they're directed at someone, as in the case of the customer telling the shop assistant to fuck off. That is completely unacceptable. But if they're simply being used descriptive, such as saying a film was shit or whatever, then I really can't understand all the peal clutching.

Most kids hear all sorts of bad language in the playground so I can't see an issue with them hearing it in a cafe. If you teach them to treat others with courtesy and respect, they're unlikely to offend anyone.

You sound slightly ridiculous tbh...challenging someone for saying "shit" in a cafe would make you look completely unhinged!

I would probably be the one doing the swearing

Gotten is used in many parts of the UK still. It’s just an older form (Shakespeare used it) and it didn’t die out everywhere. It also went to America and remains standard there.
It’s completely fine to use it in an informally written SM post imho.

I wouldn’t confront someone in the situation you’ve described OP. It’s not appropriate to try and control someone else’s speech like that (something that also needs to be pointed out to pp apparently).

For the millionth time on here there’s wrong with gotten. Cussed however is a different story.

For those who are picking up on "gotten", it is a perfectly acceptable word - especially for people who aren't British.

I teach English on-line and this is one of the lessons we teach, along with wanna and gonna being acceptable.

Painful but true

There are lots of things I find offensive when I see or hear them in public places and which I would rather my DD didn't see and hear, but I also recognise that the world is not mine to police. Manage what is yours to manage, OP, in this case setting an example by not swearing and pulling up your DC if they do.

I'd tell you to fuck right off if you confronted me for saying shit in a private conversation that had nothing to do with you or your children.

”Young children traumatised by the use of fuck or shit”?! Is that sarcasm?! It’s just a word! “Shit” regularly comes out accidentally when I’m with my 4 yo, and occasionally “fuck”. I never make a big deal of it, he doesn’t bat an eyelid and he’s never sworn himself in his life! Pretty sure he’s not traumatised by it 🤣🤣

Not for swearing but I have asked lads to tone down a very explicit conversation they were having on public transport - didn’t fancy explaining what certain terms meant to my DC!
Have also tapped more than one porn watcher on the shoulder and asked them if they could hide their phone screen better while in public 🤢

I did once in a queue for a fairground ride, to 2 14/15 year old looking girls. I bit my tongue through all of the fucks and shits, but drew the line at them referring to someone as a fucking gay c**t. Wouldn't have batted an eyelid at one use of shit though.

They're just words. I would complain loudly though if someone used the any of words toilet, pardon or serviette in earshot of my children. 😉

You cannot police other people's behaviour if it isn't breaking the law. Would you call someone out for wearing scrunch butt leggings or sliders with socks because it offends you?

Agreed. There are much more important things that I would be livid if my DC overheard such as homophobia like this and would probably confront them with or without DC!

No.

id do my job as a parent and make it clear my child is not to repeat it.

When he’s an adult he can say what he likes!

Unless they were actually swearing at me then no I wouldn’t , mind your own business .

What’s wrong with pardon and toilet LOL?! What do you use instead? Agreed on serviette however. Gives me the ick a bit.

Completely agree op. There's no reasoning with the bastards though.

I did ask our neighbors once to tone down their language when they were sitting on their front porch swearing and I had 2 five year olds in my front garden putting up decorations. They were fine with it.

Im not comfortable with what has been described as the coarsening of public discourse. I think standards and courtesy are what makes public spaces safe and welcoming. It’s one of the reasons people love places like Japan.

‘Toilet’ was always a banned word when I was growing up. Ditto ‘pardon’.

I couldn’t give a shit if my kids swear (they’re young adults), but I’d cringe if they ever said toilet or pardon. 😂

Oh behave

Another poster who doesn’t like pardon or toilet! What’s wrong with these and what do you use instead? Just curious

As long as it’s not aggressive I love a bit of swearing. I think a fuck or a cunt in the right place is language that can be used passionately, humorously and creatively. I’d much prefer that to children being taught to be stuck up and look down on other people.

Loo or lavatory.

What or sorry.

It’s a class thing apparently 🙄