Shamed for reigns on toddler

[Han1989]

Hello, this is my first post on Mumsnet but I'm looking for opinions on this topic. I have a very active 2 year old who runs away very quickly, enjoys exploring on her own and loves being chased. I usually let her walk holding my hand or on her own if it's in a safe area (no roads etc) however we recently took a short trip to Venice, and as I was anxious about crowds, all the canals etc I got some reigns (the backpack ones with wings which my daughter loves). Playing in a square one afternoon I was confronted by a young Italian woman claiming to be a teacher and giving her opinion that I am treating my child like an animal. I was very taken a back and left the situation, where I became very upset to the point of crying. I genuinely feel I do everything for my child's best interest and to be shamed like this in public whilst on holiday was very distressing. Can anyone give any insight, are reigns really that bad? Please no negative comments, my daughter has a great life and runs freely outside every day.

You can vocalise at the same time, do you realise that?

Most driving schools use cars with dual controls, they don't think it's an issue to verbalise and have someone in control of an additional braking mechanism.

I'd rather you silently judge me for using reins on my toddler than have to plan his funeral.

To be honest oP, what would that actually have achieved🤷🏻‍♀️? Some people seem to feel putting someone in their place is mandatory - an achievement even - regardless of whether they will ever see them again.

In reality, the key thing is just not taking it to heart. It’s fine to be non confrontational provided you are able to come out of a situation with what you need intact. Confrontation for confrontation’s sake is wasted negative energy.

You don't need to tell her to F off if that's not you.

If people are annoying me, I hold up my hand and say "This is the end of the conversation. I don't want you in my face or talking to me any longer", and turn aside and blank them. It's usually quite effective but if not, I threaten to report them for harassment and that normally does the trick. No one has a right to talk at you and expect you to listen.

My 18 month old loves her reins (likes wearing them round the house!) and rarely agrees to hold my hand. She won’t go in a buggy for long and I find her too heavy to carry for long. She’s safe and happy.

that lady on holiday was being a judgmental idiot. There’s was no need for her to say anything.

. I really do wish I had told her to F off!
I was joking, kind of,in my first post yesterday that your first mistake was not telling her to piss off.
Of course people sy on here ' I would have said..........' and you know most probably wouldn't have.

Sometimes just a nod and smile will do the trick, after all you are not going to see her again. If people get insistent just say 'we are fine doing it this way' There's no need to get into a dialogue about it. There's no need to feel ' shamed' its just differences of opinion, thats all.

I know, I would never actually tell anybody to F off....I just meant I wish I had said something along the lines of 'keep your opinions to yourself, you don't know me or my child'

My son walked at 9 months and really wasn’t up to discussion about the rights and wrongs of reins. All he knew was he was able to walk on his own ( as he saw it) and I knew he was safe.

I still use reigns for my 3 year old (the wrist ones), he's a runner so if I didn't he would get lost in the crowds or run into the road or something. I do what I need to do to keep him safe, you did what you needed to do to keep your little one safe and quite frankly it's no one else's business how you choose to parent - no one has the right to shame you for your parenting choices.