Mum shamed for easter

[Scottyme]

My toddler doesn’t overly like chocolate or sweets and has got a little egg from their nan so not like they haven’t got an egg. So I as a treat took my little one to Smyths to buy a toy instead but my partners friend, a relatively new first time mum, said I was spoiling them and they would never buy anything other than a egg for her child.

My argument is my child doesn’t really like chocolate anyway and they needed some more age appropriate toys now and they would get much more out of a £15 scooter, than an egg. But she didn’t just say it and leave it she kept not picking how they couldn’t send their children to nursery couldn’t think of anything worse than palming their children off to strangers etc.

I just feel like crap now for trying to do the best for my child 😢

DON'T feel like crap. You did exactly the right thing for your child - and you're lucky to have one that doesn't like chocolate. Pay no attention to judgemental busybodies and just get on with your own life making your own choices. They're the right ones!

It's an eggs, chicks, bunnies and lambs holiday - Spring & fertility!

OP, spoil your child if you want it's no one's business but your own! My kids got a mini lindt bunny and a lego set today. Personally I think that's better for them than a pile of chocolate.

On a day when a new report says more than 1 billion people on the planet are now obese and a further 1.8 billion are overweight, I can't see the problem with not giving a small child chocolate and giving them a scooter instead that encourages exercise! You do you, OP, and Happy Easter!

First Easter my children got 3 small eggs, one from us, one each from the grandparents. After that my lovely MIL bought books for my children and these books were treasured. My Mum bought them a small toy and we found this worked well for us.

Going forward, do what works for you and your family and fuck what your so called friends think. My sons are now adults, they still read books and they are not spoiled because they got a toy at Easter.

I don't have a problem with not getting them chocolate but I don't think Easter is a time for toys either.

@Blobbitymacblob

People who can’t fathom that my situation and circumstances are different to theirs, or who labour under the delusion that their opinions are facts or truth, aren’t worth stressing about.

This sums things up brilliantly, thank you!

And to @Scottyme, I hope it makes you feel better to know this kind of thing has pretty much happened to us all, so just find your own way of brushing it off.
Btw, as an aside, you’ve made me really happy with the picture of your toddler zooming around delightedly on their lovely new scooter!

This. I remember the time when mine bit a regular sized chocolate button in half and handed one piece back to me saying he'd had enough! Same with sweets
He's an adult now and just the same.

Respectfully, OP, you need to work on toughening up. Say ‘Gosh, Angela, thank you for your thoughts’ and go on doing what you were doing.

So a person says something about something you were fine with doing now you have an issue? I would work on why what they say matters to you more

I’m the arsehole that gives books instead of eggs 😂

You’d have been my kind of arsehole when I was a child!

i used to buy toys for easter

Don’t let the fun sponge spoil your day. I used to buy a present at Easter for mine when they were little. Less eggs and the toys were enjoyed all summer. Happy scooter day 🛴

If it makes you feel better I am a SAHP to a fifteen month old at the moment (not entirely through choice) and I’ve spoken to a number of people who’ve implied that my child will not develop as well socially or cognitively because I don’t currently use any childcare. I also buy non-edible Easter gifts for my young nieces/ nephews. Some people are just rude and/ or choose to be unpleasant to anyone who makes different choices to them and are best ignored or avoided.

I used to get jigsaw puzzles rather than eggs when I was little as I didn’t eat eggs. Much preferred it.

Thanks everyone you’ve all made me feel a bit better and made me realise I’m just being a bit overly sensitive about it luckily I don’t have to see her often.

Happy Easter whether you give Eggs toys books or just love. Xx

So what does partner's "friend" suggest you do if a child is lactose intolerant or dairy intolerant? Not give them anything for Easter?

DGC doesn't like Nomo so it's a book from us.

Also what age is this persons child? It's not recommended to give young children chocolate until they are two due to the sugar and caffeine content.

Tell the stupid cow that you'd rather preserve your child's teeth than give them an egg which would rot it.

"Relatively new first time mum" tells me everything I need to know. Tell her to shut up.

I'd make a mental note of her statements and bring it up at any and every available opportunity in the future but then I'm very petty.

Honestly I had years of people often strangers telling me I was parenting wrong. My DS was spoilt apparently. So what? I wasn't asking them to pay for it

He is your child and you raise him as you see fit.

This my love is jealousy. Your DS has got a new scooter because you work.

Ignores her. I have young children too (2 and 4) who do like chocolate. They’ve got a couple of little bits of chocolate (little kinder bunny things) to put in the plastic eggs for a egg hunt and then they have a figure for their tonie boxes, a new jumper each (which I was buying anyway as they needed new jumpers) and a new water bottle each (which I would’ve been buying anyway).

My boys also go to nursery and have since around 12 months old. They’re fine, they love it and my 4 year old asks to go for more days all the time (he only goes 2 days). It must be lovely for her not to need to need to send her child to nursery but that’s not the reality for all of us.

Honestly OP she sounds awful. You don’t need to be friends with her. And when she ends up sending her kid to nursery you’ll be able to be smug about it 🤷‍♀️

She wishes she thought of that! I never bought eggs as they always get a few. Mine are at the age now where they get money and the eggs they get are melted down ....

This ^^

I had a 'friend' like this. Post aprtum with my second, tired and sore, she started on about how I should be breastfeeding and why was my eldest watching my phone and why did I get my eldest a present from the baby - im spoiling him.
I lost my shit - asked her if she wanted to take them and parent them herself and if not, to shut the fuck up. Not my proudest moment, we are no longer friends, I am not bothered!

Hah! New first time Mum... says it all.
Time will tell... and she will re-cant!

Karma... it always comes down to Karma.

You do you.. your wee one is having a ball.. and so lucky to have a Mum who understands them. X