Mum shamed for easter

[Scottyme]

My toddler doesn’t overly like chocolate or sweets and has got a little egg from their nan so not like they haven’t got an egg. So I as a treat took my little one to Smyths to buy a toy instead but my partners friend, a relatively new first time mum, said I was spoiling them and they would never buy anything other than a egg for her child.

My argument is my child doesn’t really like chocolate anyway and they needed some more age appropriate toys now and they would get much more out of a £15 scooter, than an egg. But she didn’t just say it and leave it she kept not picking how they couldn’t send their children to nursery couldn’t think of anything worse than palming their children off to strangers etc.

I just feel like crap now for trying to do the best for my child 😢

My experience of other mums when you’re all new to it is that the ones that seem the most judgmental are in fact the most insecure, and trying to justify their own choices to themselves and others and be convinced that their way is best. People who know they’re doing the right things for their child don’t usually poke their noses into what other choices other people are making.

Oh ignore the snotty cow. Easter gifts are traditional - back in the day Easter was, in a lot of working-class families, one of the few times children could expect a whole brand-new set of clothes! (Or, sometimes, new shoes). Do what's right for your family.

Sounds fine to me op. Why buy chocolate-(Easter eggs are a massive con anyway). If your dc doesn’t eat eggs. it seems a bit pointless

Ive bought my nieces / nephews and grandsons Easter t shirts instead.

You're not being overly sensitive @Scottyme - what this woman said was unacceptable and it would be entirely reasonable of you to calmly and clearly say so. I suspect it wouldn't touch the sides of her though, to utter such things aloud suggests she's hardly the sort of person to react maturely to her behaviour being challenged. You yourself sound delightful, don't waste your headspace on idiots (easier said than done when one is feeling fragile I know.)

You've done exactly the right thing re: your toddler. A child laughing their head off whilst scooting round their garden is a thing of wonder and joy and the thought of it has put a smile on my face! I hope you are both having a lovely Easter Sunday 🙂

Another mum here whose DS doesn't like chocolate. Makes him gag. Always has and he's 18 now. He'd even say no to a slice of chocolate cake at birthday parties when he was younger - the smell makes him heave.

But he loves everything else - ginger or cinnamon particularly, so his lovely friends parents used to get him a ginger cake or gingerbread man to have instead of the birthday cake.

So at Easter we'd get him a gingerbread man or something similar.

Ignore your first time mum - I had a lot of ideas about how I would bring DS up, many of which went straight out of the window as the years went by! Just remind her that your DC is your child to 'spoil' so she should get on with enjoying her own child rather that commenting on yours.

I hope the scooter is very well used. It'll last a darn sight longer than the little egg her DC is getting.

I have a 17 month old, she's too young for chocolate really. She has a sister so can see her having things. Got toddler a very small egg and a book, wind up duck and light up rabbit instead. Total was probably £10. She was happy.

This woman is dreadfully rude and opinionaty x

Haven’t read everything I’m afraid @Scottyme but just wanted to say I think you should do what you think feels right for your child! It’s not anyone else’s business,
hope you have a lovely day x

People are idiots.

My parents couldn’t afford more than a basic egg but my nan used to buy us a new tshirt every Easter. Then my mum bought my kids a t-shirt and a book

Ive bought my year old grandson some wellies, a t-shirt and a lindt bunny

Ive been given 2 jellycats (cow and chicken) as I’m trying not to eat chocolate

Do what YOU think is right. I’ve got a funny feeling we bought ours scooters for Easter (might have been a half term present) . They used them for years

You do want you want and they do they want. No need for an argument/judgement for either side

As I was putting them in the basket a family strolled down the seasonal Easter aisle (which is on its own at the far side of the supermarket not leading to anything) just to loudly announce 'got idiots are buying Easter things, it MARCH'. So performative and weird they took time out of their day and went out of their way just to disapprove of strangers.

@housethatbuiltme
I read this to my DH who laughed and said that he can imagine this awful family walking in and out of various shops just so they can disapprove of other people's shopping habits. Well we all need our hobbies. . .😁

I never understand why people do this.
Why pass judgement on what someone else chooses to do for their child?
I wouldn't dream of it.

Just carry on doing what you do, and don't give it a second thought.

She sounds ridiculous, a scooter is much better than loads of chocolate for a toddler

My son gets an Easter present something small. He will point blank refuse to touch any chocolate or sweet of any kind. He’s autistic and lives of Frosties.

I’d rather he was included then left out.

When I was little (late 1960s/early 70s) chocolate was a relatively expensive, high-quality treat. I'm not sure that's the case anymore as the proportion of cocoa solids in some of the big brands has apparently dropped and been replaced by more sugar, milk solids and various oils. If you want an egg with a lot of actual chocolate in it as opposed to filler, you'll probably have to stump up; Lindt had their 400g eggs priced at £25 online before Easter. It's no wonder that people often prefer to buy toys or books or compromise with, say, a small egg or Lindt bunny and something that will last.

Do what suits your child OP and ignore other people and their decidedly ropey judgements. The fact that your little one loves their scooter speaks volumes for the validity of your choice.

The first post nails it as usual, OP. Ignore them. You've been very sensible.

Some people seem to think that anyone doing anything differently to the way they do it is a criticism of them, so they want you to change to their way to validate them.

You sound like a lovely mum who knows her kiddie 💐

This is the perfect opportunity to say, “Do Fuck Off, Dear.”

I can see that this is very annoying, especially if she said these things in front of your child. But hopefully this is not someone whom you'll have to see regularly so can be best ignored.

My Dd has never eaten a lot of chocolate, she just doesnt want it. When she was small I used to tell family not to buy easter eggs because they didn't get eaten, - they didn't listen🙄 they bought eggs and they didn't get eaten as predicted, what a waste of money! We used to use them for baking. This is a chikd who asked for broccoli with her chicken nuggets and chips, instead of beans or peas 😅

You do do OP. Personally I wouldn't buy mine a toy just because it's "Easter". Especially as majority of people do not even know why its celebrated or do anything religious other than Christmas and Easter....

My grandson doesn’t like chocolate, he much prefers fruit or those kids fruit bar things. Every child is different

Stop giving ransoms headspace - not their business. Your decision to make.

I just feel like crap now for trying to do the best for my child 😢

Honestly, why do you care what she thinks? Do you think she's doing some sort of damage to her kid only giving them an egg?

Please learn to ignore this sort of shit. You child is loved and looked after, that is what is important.

Not at all!!

my daughter is 2 and a half. Last Easter we got her a tiny tiny Easter egg. Other family got books/toys.

This year she has a mixture of some eggs and some books, toys.

I much prefer a book to chocolate for her.

DD is 12 and doesn’t like chocolate or fizzy drinks, never has. For Easter rather than buy her an egg she won’t eat we went to Claire’s and she got new earrings which she was more than happy with.