Sick children in playgrounds/classes

[HJA87]

Went to a forest school class on Friday with my 2 and bar maybe one child, every single other child there was ill. I’m talking looking generally unwell, green snot down the nose, coughing and sneezing a lot. Overheard a conversation between two parents about how everyone’s been ill in their households the last week and they had to cancel meetings at work etc. Spent the whole time there on edge trying to keep my toddlers away from the obviously ill ones. Then at the end of the class heard a parent saying,” let’s go home, you’re not feeling well, are you.” Why do people do this and ruin it for everyone else? And please don’t say the usual “ if we never went out when I’ll we would never be out at all”. End of a cold or an absolutely unavoidable outing- I can understand but taking your child to a toddler group in the very infectious beginning phase when they’re sneezing all over everyone is just plain selfish. I’ve noticed this is worse in the UK than any other county I’ve been to. There seems to be a myth about building up immunity where actually, back to back infections have the opposite effect. Immunity builds up during the period of recovery which is why doctors recommend rest when unwell. Seeing clearly unwell toddlers, often in inappropriate clothing playing outdoors in the cold is just sad and isn’t doing them any good in terms of health whilst also
exposing everyone else there.

Many many countries have statutory sick days for parents to look after their sick kids (for example 60 days per parent paid at 80% of the wage). Those countries are still functioning as doing well so it is possible.

in my job no one bats an eyelid if I say I need to look after my child. I wfh and still get most of my work done when they’re napping/ after bedtime or whenever I can. Everyone in my team has small children and we all do the same.

What waffle. My child is at a private school and advice is still if they have a bit of a cold but are otherwise well in themselves of course they come to school. They stay off for infectious diseases, sickness, if they are miserable with an illness, vomiting, diarrhoea, and fevers. It’s just common sense. Children are often absolutely fine but a bit snotty. That’s kids for you!

My work permits me the same as I’m freelance and do as I please. The majority of the country doesn’t function this way. You might want it to be different but that’s not the reality. I’d never be so snobby as to look down on a parent who couldn’t take time off at the drop of a hat for a minor cold because their work isn’t like mine.

Additionally, I wouldn’t want to shield my child from every common cold and virus. It’s not possible for a start, and one day something would finally get them and utterly floor them.

Exactly so you're confirming you are speaking from a privileged place- you wfh and have a very understanding work place, the vast majority dont. I work on wards, I cant do that from home and even if I could I wouldnt be able to work and take care of a child, few people doing real jobs would. Not every job can just log back in and fanny about for an hour or two later at night- I cant turn round and say sorry we missed cut off for discharging that patient so theyll need to spend more time taking up an nhs bed because I thought I could just log in and do that whenever I fancied. I'm sure the 120people in A&E dont mind waiting a further 24hr on that bed, theyll understand my child has a cold, who cares about their stroke or pancreatitis.

Some people would need more than 60days off a year if theyve multiple kids and get say 10 viruses lasting between 7-14 days each and many parents couldnt afford 80% pay- again you are speaking from privilege and naivety.

My work allows some time off for carers leave but certainly nowhere near that and I doubt most work places do because it would equate to months of the year. It doesnt matter what other countries do or allow we dont live there.

Christ some people really live in different worlds.

I hear what you're saying but in my experience the vast majority of wankers who send vomiting/ sick kids into childcare/ school are stay at home parents or work from home. Someone in your situation I totally get.

Whilst that is fine in your job, you're raising your DC with unrealistic expectations. If they develop the same anxieties as you their career choices will be hugely limited. I don't expect those countries would function for example if doctors, nurses, the police or firefighters isolated every time they had a cold.

I don’t know why this thread has turned into a discussion about taking time off work for ill kids. While that would be optimum, I know it’s not always possible and I think I even said that in my OP.

Theres no need to take your sick child to an optional, out of school/nursery event.

Do you think medical staff coming into work sick to work with potentially immunosuppressed patients is a good thing?

The alternative would be that there isn't any medical staff to care for immunosuppressed patients so they wouldn't get any hospital care. People are mentioning work because you said upthread that parents that do not keep their DC off school are selfish.

I'm one of those that takes my toddlers out with a cold, at all stages of the cold unless they are clearly too unwell, including to optional classes/outings, on planes, on public transport and so on, so you'd be judging me. I don't care though as I judge people like you as well, using your health anxiety to make other parents feel bad, saying everyone should take time off work to stay with their sick children just because you can 'work' from home with your kids there, many can't, or can't afford SSP. I honestly don't judge them for sending their kids into nursery with a cold. Living in the UK colds are a fact of life for over 6 months of the year, it's best just to accept that and get on with it or stay home if you really want to avoid being sick.

“I'm one of those that takes my toddlers out with a cold, at all stages of the cold unless they are clearly too unwell, including to optional classes/outings, on planes, on public transport and so on, so you'd be judging me.”

Amazing, well done, you should get a medal for being so great at sharing your kids’ germs.

in my job no one bats an eyelid if I say I need to look after my child. I wfh and still get most of my work done when they’re napping/ after bedtime or whenever I can. Everyone in my team has small children and we all do the same.

In one comment you don’t work and now you apparently work around your sick kids all the time?

Theres no need to take your sick child to an optional, out of school/nursery event.

Except for the fact that someone might want to, there is no need to stay at home due to a mild cold when you feel fine.
Your obsessive health anxiety over a cold is in the minority.
The fact that you can’t see the difference between the cold and chicken pox is utterly mental.

I said I’m on extended Mat leave, I’m still employed and that’s what I did when actively working.

The private school you were leaving a deposit with last month will not expect you to keep kids with colds home either, neither will anyone else who sends their DC there.

Well for one, there is a chickenpox vaccine which both of mine have so chicken pox does not worry me.

Ok so you drag your sick kids around spreading it to everyone because you want to. Congrats.

This is it. Even if your DC makes it to the end of primary there, they aren't going to want to keep on a child that is falling behind into secondary because they've spent every winter watching their parent WFH rather than learning.

For like a year? Hardly much experience is it.

No they won’t. They’re also cool on extended holidays/travel during term time. It’s not your traditional private school. Wouldn’t have paid the deposit otherwise. I’ve now also found out the deposit is in fact refundable so they might not be going there anyway :)

What do you mean for a year?

My kid is 4 and has been already them how to read so I don’t think they’re at risk of falling behind 😅

You can’t exactly comment on working around ‘sick’ kids or how reasonable it is to be off with a child with a cold, or keeping them off school repeatedly for a cold when you don’t have children in school and you’ve only worked for a tiny amount of time after having children.

Ah, you've managed to teach your DC basic phonics so you think they'll walk through secondary and a levels without much formal education. Got it.

My child was in nursery when I worked.

The point of the thread wasn’t to discuss my personal situation anyway so people should chill out with the interrogation.

What does nursery have to do with it?
You’ve been banging on about how everyone should be off work to keep their child at home from nursery and school even with a mild cold and unsurprisingly your pov is incredibly out of touch because you’ve actually got a very limited experience of that.
You worked for a very short amount of time in between kids and your assertion that it’s acceptable or needed to keep your child home from school and phone off work because they have a mild cold and can’t attend childcare is ridiculous.