Sick children in playgrounds/classes

[HJA87]

Went to a forest school class on Friday with my 2 and bar maybe one child, every single other child there was ill. I’m talking looking generally unwell, green snot down the nose, coughing and sneezing a lot. Overheard a conversation between two parents about how everyone’s been ill in their households the last week and they had to cancel meetings at work etc. Spent the whole time there on edge trying to keep my toddlers away from the obviously ill ones. Then at the end of the class heard a parent saying,” let’s go home, you’re not feeling well, are you.” Why do people do this and ruin it for everyone else? And please don’t say the usual “ if we never went out when I’ll we would never be out at all”. End of a cold or an absolutely unavoidable outing- I can understand but taking your child to a toddler group in the very infectious beginning phase when they’re sneezing all over everyone is just plain selfish. I’ve noticed this is worse in the UK than any other county I’ve been to. There seems to be a myth about building up immunity where actually, back to back infections have the opposite effect. Immunity builds up during the period of recovery which is why doctors recommend rest when unwell. Seeing clearly unwell toddlers, often in inappropriate clothing playing outdoors in the cold is just sad and isn’t doing them any good in terms of health whilst also
exposing everyone else there.

To be honest I do see this as part and parcel of young children. The way they play together I think it's really hard to socialise them without it leading to illness after. I wouldn't take ds out if I thought he'd be miserable/had a temp or was tummy bug sick but I would take him out with a cold if he seemed in fit enough form to be out. But to be fair we're at the stage where we would never leave our house if I waited for him not to have a cold. I would also say ds currently has a cough and runny nose but it's definitely down to teething rather than illness.

Completely agree, OP. The whole “If I never took them out with a cold/cough/snotty nose then we’d never be out” is only happening because parents are taking their kids out! Ffs

Of course you are. You would not cope with school life.

I think you have a problem with germs OP. Do your children attend nursery? Children at this age are building up their immune systems - snot and coughs are part and parcel of having a toddler. Absolutely no doctor, nursery or school setting would say that a child with a cold can’t continue with everyday life. If everyone stopped work and battened down the hatches every time they got a cold, our whole country would grind to a halt!

There is a child in the year below my primary age DC. Has both Downs Syndrome and Leukaemia and due to this making an already weak immune system weaker and parents with attitudes like the above, this child categorically cannot go out anywhere in between treatments and is unable to come into school as the risk is simply too high.
If we lived in a more compliant and respectful society like some other countries, then that poor little thing would be able to gain some semblance of normality back in between hospital treatments but nope! Trapped inside their house. Mum has had to give up work in order to look after him. All because of the selfishness of other parents.
Initially a letter was sent out to us all, going into great detail as to how and why it was so imperative that not a single sniffle was to be present in school, in order for him to come back and see his friends and classmates. Get a bit of his life back. Yet it still continued as always. One parent even brought their kid in with full blown Chicken Pox a week later; Not a single one was scabbed over 😳 Argued with the Head in the middle of the playground that her child had “already had too much time off!”

A year later, that poor little boy with Leukaemia still hasn’t been back to school and is still housebound between hospital stays. All because of selfish people. Infuriating

Your really not going to like school. They don't class a cold (runny nose, cough etc) as a good enough reason to be off unless they have a fever and other symptoms. Chicken pox, fever, sickness and diarrhoea are also acceptable sick reasons.

Thankfully mine doesn't get sick often but I did once keep her off as she'd been up all night coughing, sneezing, runny nose etc and the school rang to say she should be able to attend!

I also hate getting letters about head lice - people should keep lice infected kids off school! I spend ages nit checking!

Initially a letter was sent out to us all, going into great detail as to how and why it was so imperative that not a single sniffle was to be present in school

Really?? Obviously a sad situation but i
imagine most schools would be too concerned about overall attendance rates to give out this sort of advice.

As if any decent school would put attendance before a child with Leukaemia ffs!
Our head is amazing, thankfully.

Absolutely shocking😤I think this sort of behaviour is too engrained into this culture. I remember seeing a child sneezing into their elbow at a playground a while ago and some other parents commenting to the dad of said child how funny it was to which he said “oh yeah, an old Covid habit” as if this shouldn’t be expected from everyone Covid or not!

The School system is messed up. The only reason they care so much (are obsessed) about attendance is because they lose funding when attendance drops (which is why they are happy to call a parent to pick a sick child up once they’ve done the register). It has nothing to do with children’s wellbeing or education. If anyone told me that my child has to attend school when unwell I would tell them to mind their own business. I don’t want to spend my life fighting schools though so it is in unlikely my kids will attend a state school in this country.

'The School system is messed up. The only reason they care so much (are obsessed) about attendance is because they lose funding when attendance drops (which is why they are happy to call a parent to pick a sick child up once they’ve done the register). It has nothing to do with children’s wellbeing or education. If anyone told me that my child has to attend school when unwell I would tell them to mind their own business. I don’t want to spend my life fighting schools though so it is in unlikely my kids will attend a state school in this country.'

Schools definitely do not lose funding if attendance drops. You're talking out of your arse.

Sounds like you'd be loads of fun at parties.

So you're planning to home school whilst WFH? Good luck with that.

No, that’s not the plan.

“schools facing higher than expected attendance rates may face funding cuts, as the government's school funding model is based on pupil numbers, and increased absence means fewer pupils present to be funded.”

So what is the plan? Even in most private schools keeping DC off for large proportions of the year because of a cold would be frowned upon.

You don’t have to be there to know you can’t diagnose an infection by hearing a cough. Don’t be ridiculous.

Sounds like you have a bit of health anxiety. Not all kids with snotty noses are a hospitalisation of rsv risk.

Oh leave me alone.
The kid was having breathing difficulties. I was with a doctor.

I agree with you OP but am not surprised at how this thread has gone. Spreading germs about is completely normalised in the culture here and people have very strong opinions about immunity (often with little knowledge of the human immune system). You will find yourself totally at odds with the majority of people around you.

It’s so frustrating. Spoils it for those of ones who would like to participate in kids activities without coming away with an illness every time. I try to wash and sanitise my kids hands as soon as I can after a class which I think helps to an extent but not much I can do about them being sneezed on.

The issue is that our society isn't set up to take large amounts of time off work/school. So life goes on. The OP is judging people for not isolating DC but it isn't a possibility for most. I do agree though that she likely has health anxiety which is likely to be much more impactful to her DC. Those of us that had a DC through covid know how detrimental the message of isolate or you will die/kill people can be to small children.

Kids are pretty much constantly snotty, we are lucky that DD doesn’t pick things up easily but it’s just a normal part of childhood.

That argument doesn’t apply to optional, extra curricular classes outside of school/nursery as the parents are there, not working.

The hygiene standard is so low in this country that anyone who objects to coming in direct contact with other people’s snot is diagnosed with health anxiety by the mumsnet doctors.

I've now asked this question 3 times but what work allows parents to take time off and stay home everytime their children get sniffles?

Of course people send their kids to school/nursery with a cold, wth are they supposed to do? Imagine if the NHS told staff to not come in everytime they had a cold or their children had a cold, it would grind to a halt. 😂 So ridiculous that people even think this is viable in the real world.
Colds are horrible I agree but definitely not a reason to not be in school or work- believe me I'd far rather be in bed but then I'd have to give up work cause as mentioned above kids get sick multiple times a year that's how immune systems work.

And for that reason I dont think the leukemia story makes sense either, what idiotic head teacher thinks it's possible to ask parents to take time off everytime children have a cold? I suspect this was done to appease the parents of the sick child if it's true at all.

For everyone that home schools and is a SAHM and has the luxury of staying home be aware you are talking from a very privileged place! The world cant stop when kids get a cold.

OP you can choose to hide in your bubble with kids and tbh you can be annoyed with parents sending sick kids to things but dont be so blind to think they are doing it for the craic. They are likely doing it because they've invested time and energy into activities - if my kid is well enough to run round the house, they can go to forest school which I'm sure isnt cheap, we arent staying in the house for 7-14 days cause of a snotty nose. Or maybe the parents have actual jobs that require them to turn up to get paid so they can you know .....feed their kids 🙄.

Where do you draw the line? Is it ok for kids to go to school sick but not forest school (which is outdoors) because they might run into your home-schooled bubble kids? Should families eternally spend weekends indoors because they have a cold, even though they went to school with that cold the previous day?

When my kids were young I used to think the same but I didnt realise how often kids are sick, I was naive.

I think weve established that kids get sick often but parents cant and shouldnt then be housebound with their children for what would be months out of the year, it's not realistic and I'd love to see how businesses, workplaces, the economy and education would do if kids are sick what ten viruses a year for possibly weeks at a time.

So what families go to school/work and then never leave the house at the weekends for what would add up to months out of the year?

Honestly do whatever you want with your kids but mine arent going to lose out on life experiences and be raised in isolation because of a cold or people being neurotic over it. Maybe you need to check your privilege and work on having some resilience? You're projecting your issues onto others.