Sick children in playgrounds/classes

[HJA87]

Went to a forest school class on Friday with my 2 and bar maybe one child, every single other child there was ill. I’m talking looking generally unwell, green snot down the nose, coughing and sneezing a lot. Overheard a conversation between two parents about how everyone’s been ill in their households the last week and they had to cancel meetings at work etc. Spent the whole time there on edge trying to keep my toddlers away from the obviously ill ones. Then at the end of the class heard a parent saying,” let’s go home, you’re not feeling well, are you.” Why do people do this and ruin it for everyone else? And please don’t say the usual “ if we never went out when I’ll we would never be out at all”. End of a cold or an absolutely unavoidable outing- I can understand but taking your child to a toddler group in the very infectious beginning phase when they’re sneezing all over everyone is just plain selfish. I’ve noticed this is worse in the UK than any other county I’ve been to. There seems to be a myth about building up immunity where actually, back to back infections have the opposite effect. Immunity builds up during the period of recovery which is why doctors recommend rest when unwell. Seeing clearly unwell toddlers, often in inappropriate clothing playing outdoors in the cold is just sad and isn’t doing them any good in terms of health whilst also
exposing everyone else there.

Just to add, I observed the exact same thing when we went out to a children’s museum recently- it was like being in a hospital with so many there full of a cold.

Sounds like you might be happier staying at home …

To me there’s an ill child, who should be at home on the sofa. And one who’s got the tail end snottiness, who if you didn’t take out would never get out.

Snot sticks with my daughter for about 3 weeks after any lurgy. I keep a cough for 3 months after a cold.

We stay home when we’re ill, but you’ll see us out with her snotty nose and me coughing. You’ll hear me say we were all ill the previous week, but you wouldn’t have seen us then.

If you’re that anti germs, you’ll need to stay away from children’s groups.

@Bigtom Well yes, I’m much happier when my kids are not getting sneezed on or covered in other kids’ snot. Sounds like you think it’s fair and reasonable to take your infectious child to an optional outing. You must be one of those selfish parents then.

I did say I understand if it’s day x of a cold but there were a lot of kids in the initial sneezy/ thick green snot down the nose phase and looking generally unwell/cranky.

I would never have given it a second thought taking my child out and about when they had a cold, as long as they were well in themselves, which they usually were. Something like chicken pox is obviously different. If that makes me selfish, I guess I am, but I think most parents do the same tbh.

Just because most parents do it, doesn’t make it right. What does your child being well in themselves has to do with anything. If they are on day one or two of a cold, sneezing a lot, you will be spreading it. What might be a simple fold for your child, might turn into something more serious for someone else’s child.

I see a lot of people saying v&d/chickenpox is different. Why is that? Cold (which often can turn into something more serious if it’s RSV or similar) can be just as unpleasant. You’ll probably say-you can’t avoid a cold it’s everywhere. It’s only everywhere because people don’t stay away with it like they do with chickenpox (which arguably should be less of an issue as there is a vaccine available for it if you want to avoid it).

Some kids are snotty about 80% of the time.

Tbh when mine was tiny I used to feel like you, but then I realised that snotty/coughy kids were just a part of life and I should get on with it and stop stressing.

Obvs if it's D&V or anything where NHS advice is to stay away from school/group activities then they should stay at home.

Personally I go by NHS advice.

How many otherwise healthy children do you think are in hospital because of a cold?

Actually quite a lot, especially under one. Look up RSV.

DD had a cough pretty much continuously from 8 months until aged 3, turns out she was intolerant to cows milk. She wasn't ill and we carried on life as normal, though I'm sure I was hideously judged for taking my 'infectious' child out everywhere without a second thought

This is quite a unique situation though isn’t it. I’m surprised that you have let your child carry on with a continues cough for over 2 years without investigating it. You must have realised that wasn’t normal.

One of my kids is snotty all of the time. He's also quite cranky quite a lot of the time too, same with a lot of toddlers. If we all always avoided each other and didn't take our kids out when they were a little under the weather, most kids under 5 wouldn't leave the house.

If you don't like it, keep your kids in. Mine are going out if they're a bit snotty or at the tail end of a cold. Sorry, not sorry.

Honestly it felt like one of my dc was snotty constantly from around 2-5 years old. Kids get like that, I used to work in the early years and ts fairly normal. Perhaps if you are so worried about colds you should avoid other people?

What a judgey post

It’s actually pretty normal, toddlers airways and bodily controls aren’t as developed and as a result young children cough a lot more than adults. It’s very common for a child to have so many on again off again coughs that it seems near enough constant.

My own children have been very similar. If I didn’t take them out coughing they would be chained to the house.

As predicted, same old reply from a lot of posters eg if we never went out when ill we would never be out. Maybe you should let your kid’s immune system recover after an illness before taking them out an exposing them to more illnesses- that’s a sure way to destroy their immune system (which is probably why they’re “permanently ill”).

So you were out at a gathering of young children and felt that about 90% of them shouldn't have been out? Then I'd say it's you who has unrealistic expectations, not them.

It’s a gathering that happens every week so I suspect they all have the same virus. If patient zero stayed at home one week, then it wouldn’t have spread to the rest of the group.

I never said they are permanently ill, so very weird to put something no one said in quotes. I said they suffer from an almost permanent cough, as many children do due to their underdeveloped airways.

It’s why asthma diagnosis’s don’t come properly until post 5 years because childhood coughing is literally so prevalent.

You are the one how seems to be able to tell how fresh a child is into a cold from passing them in a class or museum which is pretty nuts really.

You can’t see a toddler with a runny nose or head a cough and know they are ill or contagious.

😂 my kids are way past the toddler stage and their immune systems are great, I suspect if is because it built up when they were small.
You are either on a wind up or have limited experience about the normalities of having young children.

I feel similar, oddly enough it was having my second child that changed my mind on this. DS has asthma and he was diagnosed at 3, any cold he caught had him having to have oral steroids. It's not as bad now he's older but worying that your child could be seriously ill if they catch a cold is not fun. I did feel after that, that more people should be a bit more considerate and stay home when they start a cold. Especially as that is when your most infectious. Fair enough to go out at the tail end, but some people will go out regardless.

Thank you, finally someone with a bit of common sense.