Sick children in playgrounds/classes

[HJA87]

Went to a forest school class on Friday with my 2 and bar maybe one child, every single other child there was ill. I’m talking looking generally unwell, green snot down the nose, coughing and sneezing a lot. Overheard a conversation between two parents about how everyone’s been ill in their households the last week and they had to cancel meetings at work etc. Spent the whole time there on edge trying to keep my toddlers away from the obviously ill ones. Then at the end of the class heard a parent saying,” let’s go home, you’re not feeling well, are you.” Why do people do this and ruin it for everyone else? And please don’t say the usual “ if we never went out when I’ll we would never be out at all”. End of a cold or an absolutely unavoidable outing- I can understand but taking your child to a toddler group in the very infectious beginning phase when they’re sneezing all over everyone is just plain selfish. I’ve noticed this is worse in the UK than any other county I’ve been to. There seems to be a myth about building up immunity where actually, back to back infections have the opposite effect. Immunity builds up during the period of recovery which is why doctors recommend rest when unwell. Seeing clearly unwell toddlers, often in inappropriate clothing playing outdoors in the cold is just sad and isn’t doing them any good in terms of health whilst also
exposing everyone else there.

Sadly, not many people think like you and so the cycle continues.

For a common cold the kids can be contagious days before the symptoms show until 7 days after the symptoms disappear. My DS has had an occasional runny nose that lasted up to 3 weeks. So keeping a child home for almost a month is not practical.

I think outdoor setting are the best option for children that have a cold. It considerably reduces the risks of infecting others. So I see nothing wrong talking the kids to the park or similar, especially since many might not have gardens to play in.

We changed our DS from a standard nursery to a forest nursery and the drop in cold and other illnesses is very noticeable. In the last 8 months he has only been ill once with a cold I suspect he got at a soft play.

I agree OP and I think you are spot on when you say it’s selfish parents who do not want to look after their kids alone.

I also think that we’ve all been lied to and told that getting many illnesses as children is a good thing in the long term, when it isn’t. People choose to believe it’s fine for children to spend half the time ill because in nursery they get sick a lot and they don’t want to acknowledge that constant illness is a bad start to life. Obviously people need nursery for childcare so it can’t be avoided most of the time but it’s beyond selfish for people to take ill kids to one-time events.

When DD was little we couldn’t go to the library without her being sick for 2 weeks each time.

It’s also exacerbated by the unhealthy lifestyles that many kids have (lack of vit D and poor nutrition).

The PP who let her kid be sick for 2 years with allergies because she didn’t notice is just awful, and is the clearest example of why the “carry on no matter what” attitude is risky as well as selfish. Poor kid.

Yes I agree. Was shocked how people drag out their sick kids here and infect everyone else, while the child is clearly under the weather and should be resting! Seems to be cultural though

I was massively put off using a childminder when I saw a group of them at soft play with a very unwell toddler who was left to sleep on a chair there.

I couldn’t believe that a) they accepted him in that condition and b) took him out.

I so wish more people have the knowledge you and I have. Most parents just repeat the same myth about the immune system rather than educating themselves. I think to are right- they would rather not know as they would then feel too guilty for dragging them places when they should be ticked up in bed.

I agreed with op. Why are people dragging sick kids about? When I've a cold i feel like crap and just want to stay at home and rest so how is it any different for a child whos full of cold? They just want to be a home snuggly with a warm drink! I know loads of mums who've openly told me they're "having" to send dd or ds to school even though they know they've been poorly because they can't miss work.
I know one mum who told me her ds had been sick on the Monday night and she was sending him in on Tuesday. Her ds is in same class as my ds. I said to her you need to stick to 48 hour sickness rule and she was like yeah but no one will know. I said I'll know and i don't want my ds having it.
I don't have health anxiety, I'm not a germaphobe but if your child isn't feeling well they don't want to be dragged around and surely better to keep germs to yourself!

I understand your reasoning @HJA87 BUT “Children under six years average six to eight colds per year (up to one per month, September through April), with symptoms lasting an average of 14 days. This means that a child could be ill with intermittent cold symptoms for nearly half of the days in this time period without cause for concern” (source www.uptodate.com/contents/the-common-cold-in-children-beyond-the-basics/print)…. Some kids might never go anywhere!

You are being unrealistic plus you are storing up problems for the future by constantly avoiding germs. DC will get ill and lots of illnesses incubation periods are weeks from exposure to symptoms so very difficult to know where they get it from. I think you will get a rude awakening!

Honestly cannot wait til the OP's kids go to school.

So you’d keep a child who had a cold but was perfectly well at home?

Do you not go to work with a minor cold - after all the same logic applies, it’s minor for you but could be more serious for someone else.

Nah. You’re wrong about that. That’s not how it works.

I’ve some sympathy with your views when you can see kids who are obviously in fever being dropped off at school or nursery. But staying in having a runny nose? No.

You’ve been exceptionally rude to people on this thread. Even though you’ve asked them to share views with you. Especially regards kids who have rhinitis, which is very common.

You sound like you’re living quite anxiously OP. Passing that on to your kids might be more harmful than a cold. Just a thought.

Immunity is earned. It’s not good for a person to stay ‘unexposed’.

P.s. you can get your kids RSV vax’ed for £250 in boots.

I do see your point to an extent. However just because a child appears to have a cold or what not, doesn’t mean they actually do.

Some kids are snotty for other reasons - glue ear, adenoids etc. My step son is one such child. He’d never be allowed to leave the house if we worried that people might think he had a cold

I totally agree with you and I cringe when I see toddlers running about with snot down their faces and their parents haven't noticed/haven't brought tissue. I feel so sorry for them, it must be so uncomfortable and yes selfishly I don't want them touching my daughter and spreading the germs! I also think everyone saying "well we need to go out or we would be in all the time" is crazy - yes, go out - go to a park or any open space and let them run around (if they feel well enough) but don't go to a toddler group where you know there will be lots of toddlers in a small space interacting?! THAT is selfish and unnecessary.

You seem to be mixing up ‘being actively unwell’ with ‘having lingering sludge’.

I don’t take my child out to big activities when she’s actively ill. However, when she’s back to bouncing off the walls and happens to still be streaming snot we go back to normal life. You’d see a child with thick yellow snot, probably lapping yours in the playground. And me coughing away because I have an extensive list of things that are not causing my cough but nothing that is. And it’s old enough that it’s very unlikely to be contagious.

I was actually on your side until this post. Good god, do you think the rest of us are stupid and uncaring of our children? Have you any idea how hard it is to get help when your child is constantly sick in a non-standard way?

Yours aren’t school age yet?

when they are you’ll be doing the same. You’ll be expected to send them in day 1 or day 5 of a cold if they are well enough in themselves to attend.

I don’t think it’s particularly realistic to stay away from people every time you have a cold. What about when they start school? You’re going to end up with pretty poor attendance if that’s the case. It also doesn’t send a great message for future attitude in the workplace that you have to hide away every time you have the common cold.

Genuinely what jobs do people have that would allow them to be off everytime their children had a cold? Parents cant win.

I am constantly ill as an adult cause my mum was a total germaphobe and never exposed us to others and it did me no favours.

My son has a constantly runny nose but if hes behaving generally well then we are going out. If hes got a fever and just wanting to cuddle then that's different.

If my child is well in themselves then I consider them well enough to go out. If they are clearly unwell - sleepy, cranky, just want to laze on the sofa then we stay home. The amount of coughing or snot doesn't come in to it, because they cough and get snotty for lots of reasons (allergies mainly).

Give over. We had regular GP and then consultant appointments, they gave her an entirely useless inhaler and we solved the problem ourselves. Wasn't really relevant to your thread though so I decided not to give the whole backstory 🙄

You had a valid point, but it got lost in your sneering and judgemental tone.

one of the main reasons why people take their kids is because they have paid a lot of money for the session in advance with no refunds. Whilst I know why things are booked in advance, many people don’t miss things they have planned and paid for. Also some kids have a lot of coughs and colds but aren’t really ill

I agree op. Kids and adults. Keep your fucking lurghi to yourselves! GROSS!

There was a kid in the cinema yesterday coughing and wheezing so bad I was concerned about her breathing. I did ask the mum (kindly) if she was OK. I wanted to say take her to the effing doctors, or at least not the cinema. The kid sounded like she needed antibiotics and an inhaler.