Hand hold please - 8yo DD asking for phone

[rootsandwings89]

Just that really - I need some reassurance in doing the right thing. My DD’s friends in year 3 are starting to get mobile phones and tell her they’re whatsapping every day after school and she feels left out :(

She’s asked before and I’ve explained she can have one when she’s older, but tonight she got frustrated and said why can’t I be like all the other mums :(

I knew this would happen eventually but not in year 3!

Since the world began, children have said to their parents, "but everybody else has an XYZ ...".
This is not specifically a phone problem. It is a lie/exaggeration tactic often used by children. And most parents learn how to push back, usually by asking other parents in the class what the real deal is. You will probably find that there are one or two children with phones, and all the other parents are getting the same emotional blackmail but are resisting it.

Just say no. Why would you even feel bad about it? She feels "left out"? It will be plenty of situation in life when that will happen, and you won't be able to prevent them.

I think giving a smartphone before they teenagers is madness. I understand they might need a phone when they start to go to school by themselves (age 10 or something). But I will definitely buy an old Nokia or a flip phone with no social media access for my children.

Makes me sad how many children are missing out on childhood these days because the parents can't say no to them.

That’s crazy - year 3?! The world’s gone totally mad. The age for Whatsapp is 13, btw (even that is absurdly low). I would hold out as long as you can OP. The other parents are wrong imo. Check out the Parents for a Smartphone-free Childhood movement for advice. Good luck OP, I know how hard it is, the world seems to be against us as parents

Just say 'no' and bear the complaining the accusations of being mean/ unfair/ etc that children always say when they want something they can't have. Would you give her a car, just so she can get used to driving one because she'll need to do it when she's older? No...

FWIW, DD is in secondary (yr6) and only has a 'brick'. Same for a bunch of her friends. Some kids in her year don't have phones at all. She has survived. She grumbles about it sometimes and we are thinking of giving her a completely locked-down smart phone soonish (primarily so she can listen to music and stop messing up my Apple music algorithm with Olivia Rodrigo and fucking KPop).

Given the amount this is in the press at the moment ('cos of 'Adolescence' on Netflix) and the rising 'smarphone free childhood' movement, you're in a much better position than parents even 2 or 3 years ago to resist this request. I think the 'norm' of giving kids a smartphone when they go into secondary is going to change significantly over the next couple of years.

I was going to have it already connected to my phone and on speaker so I could just talk to him like a walkie talkie actually. He's waiting for an ASD assessment and I have a toddler who doesn't go anywhere near as fast as him but thanks for judging 👌

So get walkie talkies? My kid has them and loves them. They’re dead cheap, robust and can be used amongst kids when playing games.

Stick to your guns. Say no and mean it. An 8 year old having a phone isn’t normal. Don’t be swayed by other parents. They get it very wrong.