Hand hold please - 8yo DD asking for phone

[rootsandwings89]

Just that really - I need some reassurance in doing the right thing. My DD’s friends in year 3 are starting to get mobile phones and tell her they’re whatsapping every day after school and she feels left out :(

She’s asked before and I’ve explained she can have one when she’s older, but tonight she got frustrated and said why can’t I be like all the other mums :(

I knew this would happen eventually but not in year 3!

Whatsapp’ing in year 3? Their parents are so irresponsible that’s appalling. Mine has none and will remain that way until year 7 then it’ll be a brick phone until year 9. I want my DC to have a proper childhood

What harm????? Are you seriously asking that question?

Be the grown up and just say no.

The minimum age for WhatsApp is 13.

We did that because my DC were going to different schools to all their Primary friends and we wanted them to firm up friendships. They didn't take them to school and I checked them regularly.
No WA or Tik Tock accounts were allowed.
Text and calls only

Still absolutely no need for small children to be given a smartphone.

Saying no makes you the superior parent. Let the others question themselves.

🤣

Absolutely not. And I bet her Y3 friends do not have their own phones, but maybe have a parents old phone they watch some videos on occasionally. My dc straddle that age and I’d say 95% of Y7 DD’s friends did not have a phone before summer term of Y6. One friend who did lives 50/50 with her parents and does a lot of the organising going back and forth between their houses.

The only child I knew who properly had her own phone in Y3/4 also had some serious safeguarding red flags. Mum was deceased, dad was ‘working abroad indefinitely’ (pretty sure he was in prison, possibly related to mum’s death), she lived with grandparents who probably meant well but were letting her on all sorts of stuff she should not have been exposed to. She was so primed to be groomed online that I cut the friendship off, it made me so uncomfortable how inappropriately grown up she was.

Don’t be that sort of parent. Just say no. Even with my 12 year old, it’s a right PITA, but necessary so I can contact her when she’s not home with me.

I can’t even imagine how anyone could think giving an 8 year old a smartphone is a good idea, on any level.

These devices and the apps which run on them are designed by some of the smartest people on the planet to be as addictive as possible. We all know this from our own usage of them.

There is no safe way for such a young child to have a smartphone, and no responsible parent would allow it.

Considering getting 6yo a dumb phone so I can be in contact with him while he's riding his bike (new skill and he gets a bit overzealous when zooming off into the distance so I'd like to be able to tell him when to stop without having to shout at him) and so he can call his dad or whatever but a smart phone for an 8yo is an absolute no no imo.

The reason those other 8yos have phones is because their parents are lazy and would rather have their kids in front of a screen than entertain them in other ways. Just tell your DD that she's got more important things to do with her time and she can have one when she starts walking herself to and from school for safety reasons

We have a family mobile phone. Kids can use it for communicating with friends and to keep in contact with me when out. No social media or internet allowed.

As someone constantly having to sort out the unkind messages exchanged in an evening or weekend, please say no and stick to it.

Not a chance in hell would I give in to this. She’s 8. I wouldn’t need a hand hold, I’d say ‘not on your Nelly’. My children are in year 4 and 5. None of their friends have phones. And if they did, I’d tell them there is no chance. But all the parents are the same as me, they have absolutely no need. The poor souls will have to just manage with their iPads, 60 inch telly, my phone and my DH’s phone. They’ll be fine.

The last thing I want is them on WhatsApp on an evening. So then all the squabbles and dramas come home? No way.

I tell them that I might consider it before they start secondary school, same with ear piercing. I don’t care if they whinge or are under peer pressure, I feel 100 percent confident in my choices.

Watch that documentary on phone use that Emma and Matt Willis did. You’ll change your mind about giving your 8 year old a phone then. They are campaigning to get a bill passed about kids under 14 not having phones.

Why do you feel like crap...you are the responsible parent, you should be feeling smug and content. If your dd asked for a cigarette because Samantha's Mum let's her smoke would you say no? Would you feel bad about it?

8 is far too young. My daughter did get get in until she started year 7. All her friends has one but I stood firm. You're the parent here

You say no because that’s the correct response.

You’re not responsible for other parents’ stupid decisions (something I did actually once say to DD on this subject).

It’ll blow over.

Hard no.
I'd maybe go a basic phone purely for emergencies if yoy could limit it to callls and messages to set people (family) only. But I don't even know if thsys a thing.

Absolutely not to a 8yo having free access to social media

You’re doing the right thing. You know that. 8?!

Just stand your ground and say no- honestly the majority of falling out and issues at primary and secondary are all to do with bloody phones. Dd got one at end of primary and even though she only has WhatsApp I wish we’d held off even longer

You are 100% doing the right thing in saying no. If you need any further convincing, read The Anxious Generation. Honestly we should all be holding off getting our children smartphones for as long as possible.

You feel like crap? You should feel elated that you’re a decent parent with a brain that can see the dangers of giving an 8 year little girl access to the internet.

I wouldn’t give in to this and yes I would massively judge parents that do. She’s 8! A mobile phone is really really not necessary.

Ummm, just say not, that's not right for our family, and you don't need one?

I can reassure you that you are not doing the wrong thing, and many other parents (me included) would say no to this request.

I suspect fewer girls than you think actually have their own phone. I am also willing to bet that there are other parents who have already refused the same request, or would be glad to know that someone else is resisting getting their very young child a phone.

I think it’s OK for them to FaceTime from time to time - my daughter will sometimes FaceTime a friend - but this is on my iPad, and I am pottering around somewhere in the background.

I think it’s mad they’ve got phones at that age. To me it’s the definition of crap parenting! Is there any of the smartphone free childhood stuff near you? I’d be looking for groups of other parents with no phones for their kids and seeing if I can get her some friends outside school aswell. Honestly it’s not hard to say no when you realise what effect a smartphone can have on their development. Have a read or listen to ‘The anxious generation’ book - will make you happy to say No!