Baby Led Parenting

[Rhubarb]

Yup. The baby is the boss and they will tell you what to do. You feed them when they cry, they'll sleep when they want, do what they want when they want to do it. If you want to experience true, pure and natural parenting then this is what you do.

No mention of the African tribes who tie crying babies to trees to discourage them from crying and giving their location away to enemy tribes. No mention of feeding on demand in Ethopia because you don't have enough milk to sustain a baby for 4 hourly feeds. No mention of carrying the baby on you at all times because there are no prams and therefore not a lot else to do. Noooooo, these third world mothers really know how to bring up baby naturally and that is the way forward!

It's all bollocks isn't it?

Actually tiredlady, my firstborn was a routine baby through and through, hospital birth, epidural, b/f for 3 months, weaned at 3 months and onto formula.

Second was home birth, b/f for 8 months, weaned at 6 months and would not settle into any kind of routine at all.

Which is kinda my point.

to be fair you didnt start threaf with 'arent gurus making parenting harder?' you went off on one about a particular way of parenting,

Oh and this ain't me with my knickers in a twist cause I ain't swearing. This is just me having a bit of a go at parenting books. All of them. Am I allowed to do that?

so you didnt make that point to start with.

Yup, it started off with baby-led parenting because that was in my mind.

Then I progressed. As you do.

Original Post - By Rhubarb on Mon 05-May-08 21:40:43
Yup. The baby is the boss and they will tell you what to do. You feed them when they cry, they'll sleep when they want, do what they want when they want to do it. If you want to experience true, pure and natural parenting then this is what you do.

No mention of the African tribes who tie crying babies to trees to discourage them from crying and giving their location away to enemy tribes. No mention of feeding on demand in Ethopia because you don't have enough milk to sustain a baby for 4 hourly feeds. No mention of carrying the baby on you at all times because there are no prams and therefore not a lot else to do. Noooooo, these third world mothers really know how to bring up baby naturally and that is the way forward!

It's all bollocks isn't it?

that is a real go at parenting books?

'they banter and argue about which parenting technique is best' weeeeell, more often i see people saying 'this worked for me' tbh. so, no books, no techniques, no advice if you're arguing the point with someone else (presumably on MN?)... and this would make parenting easier?

perhaps for you, but not for others. because while 'every baby is different, so no one parenting technique will work on 2 different babies', the same can be said of parents. seems to me you're the one being dogmatic tbh.

I am still not getting this. You ARE ranting at natural parenting gurus but not at GF type gurus.I also don't quite get your PND and parenting book link. Books cause PND? Mums with PND turn to books but they aren't helpful? What?

Have I touched a raw nerve with you?

Sure I slated baby-led parenting. Now I'm slating all types of parenting books and gurus. I'm allowed, it's my thread. I think they are all bollocks. They should all co-operate and put out ONE general book with all the different types in it so people can pick and choose. And no bragging about which one is best.

But sure, all these "natural" gurus do get my goat more than the others.

'To expect mothers to go back to how stone-age mothers brought up their babies is a tad unrealistic.'

I agree. But expecting a baby to be born adapted to modern life is equally unrealistic. Most of us just come to our own compromise solutions.

missed the pnd bit. when i did my mental health nurse training we were not taught that depression is caused by a book. tis bolleuax

tad unrealistic to have one book for all ideas. think something has obv upset

Let me put it simply. Have a look at the HUUUUGE range of parenting books on the market today, all competing for the top spot, all claiming that their technique is the best.

They don't co-operate. Can you see GF admitting that Miriam Stoppard might have a point? No.

Yet instead of making our lives as parents easier, they make it more confusing. Most of the threads on Mumsnet asking for help are from first time mums. There is huge pressure now on mums to get it right, and on Mumsnet, a whole load of tut tutting when you get it wrong. (sausage rolls anyone?)

Post-natal depression has shot up.

So what I am saying is that these books, whilst they do not cause pnd, do not help either and may even contribute to it because if you buy, say GF, and your child does not fit into that routine, then you think there is something wrong with it and/or you.

Oh dear, don't start on the "have you had a bad day?" Can't a woman have a rant in peace without being accused of having been upset, or been drinking, or had a rotten day?

It was something I thought about today, thought I would write my opinions about it, that's it. If you disagree that's fine.

No you haven't touched a raw nerve with me at all. I am still wondering why you are so angry though? Unless someone unhelpfully rammed baby led parenting down your throat when you were struggling with a difficult baby and PND, I just don't get why you are so worked up about it. Baby led stuff is not for you. Fine.

nope pnd diagnosis diagnosis shot up, used to be ignored all called nuerosis.

with any subject there is a huge array of theories, parenting is just one. the amount of text books i had to get for nursing and the differing opinions is vast

Sorry rhubarb I resurrected this, you seem to be getting a real unecessary backlash, tiredlady bit personal what if she had felt bad about something in the early days.

Isnt the point that most of BLW is common sense and what most of us have been doing for years, offer baby food, baby wants food, baby eats. baby refuses food baby doesnt eat.

not on mumsnet of you want to rant in peace and not have people disagree then it is perhaps best not to start a thread on it.

My goodness you lot take things far too seriously!

A rant is a rant is a rant.

Have you never had one? A bit of a rant? Get it off your chest? An opinion about something that has niggled you and you thought you'd write it all down?

Honestly! Would it make you feel better if I said I was scarred emotionally by GF?

tbh i think the pressure to 'get it right' is an internal one and i think it has always existed in some and not in others. i've never felt it, for example, i'm just trying not to break dd irretrievably. i often wonder if it's because i'm the eldest of four and did a lot of childcare in my time?

tbh i think that smaller families, less exposure to children and increased targeting at work as well as financial pressure to go back to work has a lot to do with the stress that some women find themselves under as first-time parents.

i read a bit of GF, MS, some australian doc, didn't buy any of them but was given them second-hand, it wasn't beyond my intelligence to choose the bits that chimed with me and ignore the rest. is it perhaps a bit patronising to assume that most of us wouldn't be capable of the same?

anyway, hasn't MN got a book coming out? i'm quite sure it'll cover all the bases for first-timers.

Awen, I'm happy for people to disagree, that makes for good debating! Disagree away! But don't question my motives for starting the thread, there is nothing sinister to it.

I think if you are the type to read these books, then you are likely to read books by different gurus and you are also likely to go on MN where you can find lots of different opinions on one website. Basically you are the type to do some research I guess and likely to mix and match a bit. I would worry more about the type of person who only listen to her mum or mil or HV. IMO you are more likely to be hurt by gurus close to you

yes, clueless, BLW is common sense and what people have been doing for years. so i don't understand why you were so dismissive of it earlier...

Aitch, there is a regular Mumsnetter, I'm shit with names but I'm sure someone will know her, she swears that GF led to her pnd.

Others have felt the same. Over the years on Mumsnet there have been threads about various parenting gurus and people have admitted that reading them made them feel inadequate at times.