Baby Led Parenting

[Rhubarb]

Yup. The baby is the boss and they will tell you what to do. You feed them when they cry, they'll sleep when they want, do what they want when they want to do it. If you want to experience true, pure and natural parenting then this is what you do.

No mention of the African tribes who tie crying babies to trees to discourage them from crying and giving their location away to enemy tribes. No mention of feeding on demand in Ethopia because you don't have enough milk to sustain a baby for 4 hourly feeds. No mention of carrying the baby on you at all times because there are no prams and therefore not a lot else to do. Noooooo, these third world mothers really know how to bring up baby naturally and that is the way forward!

It's all bollocks isn't it?

lol! You honestly think that I can be arsed to start a thread about baby led parenting, no mention of blw, and it's all to do with you?

Whatever! I'm prepared to brush all of this under the carpet, pretend it never happened, and carry on. Are you?

At risk of my post being here for a very short time, I have done attachment parenting with Ds2. It is probably rather at the expense of Ds1 though. I am great when they are babies and don't let them cry much at all, but as soon as they hit toddlerhood I am frustrated and often want them to play alone, rather than me entertaining them.
Hoping I'll relax into it more with Ds2, but Ds1 has had some neglect I think, and it is very hard to be there for both of them.
I am now going to turn off the pc and spend time emotionally available

Nurk, get some 'me' time. You can't be there for them every minute of the day, it's an unrealistic expectation. You can only give as much as you can. Mine expect me to play all the time with them too, but sometimes I just don't want to and I don't feel guilty for expecting them to play by themselves, or sitting them in front of the tv whilst I listen to music in the other room. You have to get the balance right.

oh fgs, lol no. you've just been intolerably nasty, showed extraordinarily poor MN form and behaved like a fifth-form bitch and i'm supposed to go 'oh yes, please, let's never talk about it again oh great and glorious Rhubarb, i'd be so grateful.'

nah, all i did was disagree with your OP, because, well, because i don't think being baby-led in terms of one's parenting is 'bollocks'. nor do i think all parenting books are bad, or that they target the vulnerable with scant regard for their mental health, or that GF is responsible for the poster who you mentioned's PND (nor does she, judging by the quote). i think that you didn't expect that 90% of the people on this thread would disagree profoundly with the many and varied points you made during the course of it, so i think you decided to make it about something else because you didn't enjoy being disagreed with. that's what i think.

so, you made this stuff up in your own wee head about a grudge based on the fact that you're custy's mate (really, how high school musical) and then wrote it down on here for all to see. lol, and i'm supposed to be grateful for an offer of what, waiting until the next time til you do it again? i am genuinely amused. (not sarcastically, seriously, i'm chuckling ).

anyhoo, now i feel i've learned a little about how you operate, which is interesting to say the least. so i'll know for the future, thanks.

not wanting to raise this thread again but am extremely pissed by the comments of me being extremely sarcastic and rude. I disagreed with what you posted, that doesnt constitue the same thing. You are being rude but making those sort of accusations.

At end of day, next time start a thread saying only those who agree with me are welcome to post.

I've been thinking about this post and something occured to me about the "natural" thing. It's been posted that "because a remote random tribe in Africa" do it we should and just ignore the horrible parts. From what I've seen of the things that are seen as "natural" they are things that are done in different tribes all over the world. I have friends from different places that I've had long discussions with on slings, BFing, BLW, cosleeping etc, it doesn't matter where they are from they have some version of it which they do see as "natural" because it's just what they do. There's noone telling them to do it like that or books or choices, they just do it because it's what they do. That's what natural means.

Isn't the whole point that we parent according to the children we have?

Poor show to do it any other way, really.

Not sure quite why the slating of third world mothers in the OP - bit of a sweeping generalisation [understatement]

Nurk, I think it is inevitable that the older child gets a bit less attention with a baby, even if you are doing a strict routine babies, just need so much time and effort - add in the extra washing/housework caused by a new baby and it is pretty much unavoidable.

Personally I believe that close enough is good enough in parenting. I think as long as you avoid either of the extremes (as in smothering vs. neglect) kids are going to turn out OK. Remember the baby will not stay a baby and the balance will shift back.

I personally found the AP method the best for me and my first son, if the next baby seems to need more structure then I will do that instead.

Just do whatever works and sod either side who try to tell you, you are wrong. Ignore any "advice" you don't like and get on with it.

hunkermunker on Wed 14-May-08 23:42:03
"Isn't the whole point that we parent according to the children we have?

Poor show to do it any other way, really."

Wisely spoken, Hunkermunker.
(Syringe-feeding wasn't really one of my dreams of motherhood, but heigh-ho. Would have loved bf'ing on demand but dd was too weak to demand anything.)

And I would add, according to the bodies we have.
(I would have loved sling-carrying but by the time I got home my nether parts looked like a 4-year-old's cross stitch sampler; just lifting her onto the changing table was agony.

But then I still get to co-sleep after 11 years. And if anyone could find me a good sling for an 11yo, that might be just the thing )