Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Do you want me to condemn your wife?

Why was the child's passport not checked at home? And thank you for the reminder that I need to renew mine.

as I understand it you weren’t going? So your daughter has stayed home with you?
obviously your wife cocked up with passport checks,
and in the moment made this decision.
im not sure it was the wrong one.
you and your daughter can have some special time together doing something you cant do as a whole family.
so whilst the palms have changed and she is disappointed not to be going to Germany, she gets to hang it with you for new year instead and I am sure you can make that fun.

I think the ages of the children are important here. If they are of ages where you can easily explain this fuck up then I'd do as your wife had done. If they are younger and will find it all too unfair, I'd have cancelled the lot. Hopefully you can make it up to your daughter now so she's not too upset.

Why is it not their joint responsibility to check the passports?

I had to collect her and bring her home

We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things

So where were you that you had to go and collect her?
It’s frustrating that neither of you had the foresight to look at the passports but that doesn’t mean all the tickets should go to waste or that your wife should have to miss seeing her family. I’m sure you’ll be perfectly fine looking after your eldest.

just make it special for the oldest dd

Loads of people get caught out by the six months left on passport thing. It’s really common. It’s great that you weee able to collect her and at least you’ll have company for new year now. Plan to do something nice together.

You weren’t all going though were you?

Depends if you think it’s better for one child to be disappointed or everybody I suppose. Your wife has tried to salvage what she can in a rough situation imo.

It isn’t as if she has been abandoned in the uk by herself. She is with you. She would have missed out even if your wife had decided to cancel the trip. This way at least your wife, your other children and their family in Germany don’t miss out as well.

This is my thinking too. What had you planned to do while your family was away? Does having your 2 year old around, mess up your plans?!
I'm surprised you weren't at the airport to at least see them off but I'm sure there was a good reason.

2 year old?

Depends on the age of the child and if they were happy enough with that plan but it is awful that they miss out because their parents fucked up.

just have to make the best of it

I had to collect her and bring her home

We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things

That wouldn’t be my approach at all. And my guess is that when it was something you really wanted to do, that it wouldn’t be your approach either.

in my view your wife made the correct decision.

What 2 year old? Presumably this child is at least 5. Do they not have dual passports?

@Heidi2018 my apologies, I mixed up the 2 months passport bit and completely misinterpreted that! Sorry OP!

Why should someone go to an airport when the people they are seeing off are only away for a few days?
Would you expect that even if they were flying internally?

But you weren't all going?

Presumably your wife has the needs of her parents to consider.

Thanks for the replies.

Yes I had dropped them at the airport, but had to head back to collect her.

It's nice to get other people's opinions as its not something I would do. I wouldn't go without all my children and would just book flights for another time.

But it's nice to gauge that the majority would do this. Thanks for the feedback

The parent that’s in the UK and their plans isn’t the U bit. It’s how the left behind child feels. If they are young and upset I think it’s awful especially if the other parent wasn’t there with them at the airport and they had to wait with strangers. That would be pretty awful. If they are old enough to understand and decide and they had some input to the decision then not great but ok.

if there is some reason that the the German parent needed to go and it’s not just a jolly to see family then that adds a layer too.

We need more information.

Sounds like you're pissed off you have to do some childcare. Why haven't you checked your children's passports? Or is that just the woman's admin?

Were you looking forward to some time alone
And now you have to look after your daughter.
I suppose if none of them had gone ,your wife would be here looking after her for you .
That's probably why you think all or none should go

i dont know what i would do tbh
very upsetting

I would have done the same as your wife.
presumably German grandparents were looking forward to seeing their daughter & GC, & New Year is a big deal there.