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Original poster

Leaving a child at the airport

463 replies

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 05:57

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

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Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:02

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 05:57

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Just to say something- I'm from another EU country and we live in UK. My husband is non EU (not relevant but anyway). My baby was entitled for UK citizenship from birth, but I didn't get his passport done till recently. I did apply for my country citizenship for him and got his passport. Now he can go to my home country anytime regardless of his passport expiry date. Is there a reason why your children doesn't have German citizenships? Will be much easier from now on, as when travelling to Germany (or any other EU countries) they will need and ETA. (Like everyone from EU will need ETA for UK from 2.4.2025).
So maybe something to think about.
But I do agree. As a mother I would not leave my child on his own, but as well I would make sure they have valid passport too.

Teddybear23 · 01/01/2025 18:05

did you have something planned while your wife was away that your daughter will now get in the way of??

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:19

OTannenbaumOTannenbaum · 31/12/2024 06:56

I don't really understand these replies. I have two children, I'm from the UK and live in Germany. If I was heading home and realised one my children's passports were out of date, I'd be gutted not to see my family but I couldn't do that to my child at 9 years old. Not checking passports is not the child's fault. Unless a sick relative or something was waiting at the other side, I'd head home with the whole family and rebook for Easter.

Exactly! But I don't understand why children don't have German citizenships?

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Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:25

Zippedydodah · 31/12/2024 07:13

So your wife literally abandoned your 9 year old , leaving her alone in an airport until you collected her? Highly unlikely.
bet that spoiled your plans for the week, having to look after your dd. Why didn’t you check the passports?

What are you even saying? They at the gate and she chose to boarded a plane and leave her behind. So how would you call that?

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:39

Completelyjo · 31/12/2024 07:37

I’m literally visiting family right now on a European airline in an EU country and did not and never have put my passport details in to check in.

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There is no way you could fly out of UK without putting passport details in. Including expiry date.

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:48

DreamW3aver · 31/12/2024 08:09

I don't know what you have to do but I have 2 family members who have been turned away at the gate for passport issues in the past couple of years different destinations and different airlines. It absolutely does happen whatever your personal experience is

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I'm sure you quoted the wrong person. Your comment has no connection to hers. Or you understood wrong what she said.

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 18:52

Wizzardry · 31/12/2024 08:32

Assuming the family were travelling from the UK and going directly to Germany it's three months not six.

@DreamW3aver
So the OP's post doesn't make sense if that's the case, does it?

Or you're saying passport control got it wrong?

For all you who didn't read correctly- passport was 2 months before expiry. So here you go.

Shotokan101 · 01/01/2025 19:05

StopStartStop · 31/12/2024 06:00

Do you want me to condemn your wife?

Why was the child's passport not checked at home? And thank you for the reminder that I need to renew mine.

I agree with you, except for blaming the wife for the passport cock-up of course.....

Also, given how often this sort of cock-up is happening, despite the relatively large amount of publicity such cases get, it's about time all invo,ved in the travel industry and online booking facilities forced you to enter the passport expiry details for all traveller ps when tickets/flights are booked.....?

Lyraloo · 01/01/2025 19:25

rainbowstardrops · 31/12/2024 06:27

This is my thinking too. What had you planned to do while your family was away? Does having your 2 year old around, mess up your plans?!
I'm surprised you weren't at the airport to at least see them off but I'm sure there was a good reason.

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Wow this comes across as very judgemental! What are you trying to say?

Debtdolly · 01/01/2025 19:37

My DD is 9 and would be absolutely beside herself if I left her alone at the airport and boarded a plane with her siblings. Even if Dad was 15mins away, she’d be so upset I don’t think I could do it whatever the reason was.

Havinganamechange · 01/01/2025 20:08

It feels horrible for your eldest to be honest so understand your thinking OP. Equally I can’t understand someone not making sure they have their stuff in order, if traveling, your passport is the first thing you need to make sure you have so no idea how this got missed.

croydon15 · 01/01/2025 20:13

Don't you have to put the passport details to print the boarding pass, your DW should have noticed and not gone to the airport with an invalid passport, she needs to be more careful to avoid these situations.

Wooky073 · 01/01/2025 20:25

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 06:39

She was old enough to understand...but not really either. She was 9 and it really upset her to be honest.

No.occasion, just to see family and no concerns over anything else.

This will stay with your daughter forever and she will always check the passports have sufficient time on them for the rest of her life. Probably you all will. It was a tough decision to make. Though delaying would mean missing out completely given how long passports take to sort. It was probably right for your wife to proceed. Whatever decision was made someone would have felt bad. Maybe the trip can be rerun in Easte?

Longma · 01/01/2025 20:39

There are passport checks at every point

If travelling with cabin bag only the only passport check is done at the gate, just before boarding.

If you have hold luggage your passport is often checked as you hand the cases over.

Longma · 01/01/2025 20:42

croydon15 · 01/01/2025 20:13

Don't you have to put the passport details to print the boarding pass, your DW should have noticed and not gone to the airport with an invalid passport, she needs to be more careful to avoid these situations.

You do when checking in online.
However it doesn't bounce you off or come up with an error message if the passport date isn't within the time.
Mum should have realised how close it was when entering the details though.

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 20:46

MaxJLHardy · 31/12/2024 09:16

I wouldn't have travelled but how the incident is handled is the important thing. This whole scenario is just another example of the Brexit 'benefits' we're all enjoying. Ironically getting a British passport is an admin dream in comparison to getting a German passport which requires both parents to attend in person at the German embassy even if one parent is not German.

Oh that's really something, I'm from another EU country and my child has my country passport as well as UK one. UK one was much longer and harder to get, first the picture didn't meet the standards (it was done for EU passport and was conditinally acceptable for British one), secondly I needed to get a person who confirmed the identity. Thirdly I had to sent my UKVI certificate confirming my settled status, as well as his original BC and his passport from my country. Meanwhile I renew his passport in my hometown and I only had to go to the office and they do everything for you there, you get it in 5 days, same as I got UK one. But applying for citizenship I did it in Embassy in London and if parents are married you only need a marriage certificate and only a person who is citizen needs to attend, not both. And even in the Embassy I got it in a week.

MyNewLife2025 · 01/01/2025 20:57

I think it was a really hard position to be in on the mum’s pov.

Let’s be honest, she’s just spend Christmas away from her family.
We have no idea how often she gets to see them. Just a dismissive ‘no special reason’.
Yes the mum dropped the ball. And yes the child is upset of not going.
But if the mum had stayed, there would have been 3 upset dcs, an upset mum and upset family members on the other side.

There was no good answer there.
Apart maybe from the OP’s pov. If mum had stayed in the U.K., I imagine she would have been the one dealing with all the dcs, not him.

MyNewLife2025 · 01/01/2025 20:59

@Mayana1 , same here.
Getting my passport for the dcs was a breeze. I just needed to show their birth certificate. The British one was much harder.

Meltdown247 · 01/01/2025 21:17

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 05:57

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

Total over reaction by you. Go have fun with your DD and stop looking to blame your wife for something you both are clearly to blame for. Look at this as an opportunity to make memories rather than reasons to pin shit on your wife.

Danielle9891 · 01/01/2025 21:41

I suppose your wife had to make a hard choice out of upsetting 1 child or upsetting the other 2 children as well as all the family waiting to see them. Can you not go get her a passport and fly over with her? You might have to travel but there might be some one day passport appointments available.

H0210zero · 01/01/2025 21:44

I could fully understand leaving an older teen. But not a 9 year old. Sorry this is one thing I don't agree on. It would also depend on how often they fly normally and whether this is a normal trip from the child or a special holiday they were looking forward too. Either way when I book a holiday or trip I'd be double checking everything is in order in plenty time. If daughter was 14-15 and frequently did the trip I'd understand. But I'd never leave my child of 9 in an airport to get on a plane. Never mind fly without them. Even if dad had been there I'd have struggled to leave them if the others were wall booked.

Snakebite61 · 01/01/2025 22:07

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 05:57

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

She did right. Why should everyone suffer?
Let's face it, it's your fault for not checking the passport.

whynotwhatknot · 01/01/2025 22:41

9? thought you were gong to say a teen

i think its awful to just leave them there to go away

Mayana1 · 01/01/2025 22:56

Wizzardry · 31/12/2024 09:55

There are a lot of misinformed comments here on being alone at an airport although some posters have put that right.

Airports and airlines are used to children travelling alone or being on their own.

Children who are at UK boarding schools often fly without a parent from the age of 7. They are taken by taxi from their school and 'delivered' to airport staff who look after them all the time.

Their parents are often in the Forces overseas.

Edited

I did escort unaccompanied minors for few different airlines, but those are children who are booked as UMs and the staff has duties to take care of them.
For the daughter of the OP no such arrangement was made, but I can only assume somebody on the gate was nice enough to escorted her back landside and stayed with her till dad arrived. (As worked in customer service, I would definitely helped out and there are plenty of good people on the airport who would do the same).

Washingupdone · 01/01/2025 23:53

Have have lived from family in other countries and Christmas is a special time, I do feel sorry for your DC but you didn’t allow her to dwell on it, did you?
Your wife left your DD in the care of airport staff, didn’t she?
You spent a wonderful surprise Christmas with your DC, didn’t you?
You just had to turn the car round to go back and pick her up.

My DDs traveled often alone from a very young age but I did drop them off with the airport staff with labels round their necks. Long haul from the age of 8. I used to wait till the plane had taken off as you never knew if there would be a problem However, their father was not so vigilant with time zones and was not at the counter to collect DD. English was not the local language. One time he dropped DD off with a day difference.