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Original poster

Leaving a child at the airport

463 replies

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 05:57

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

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Completelyjo · 31/12/2024 07:06

RadioCountdown · 31/12/2024 07:05

It doesn’t but they were through security and he had to travel back. The assumption is she was left (presumably with airport staff). Could have been very traumatic for her, bless her. She might have felt really scared and abandoned. This might really damage their relationship but hopefully this is an otherwise attuned and caring mum who made a quick decision and will repair any damage done to the trust.

Edited
Show quote history

You’re moaning about people assuming the OP is a man, even though he has said so, but happy to assume she was abandoned in the airport alone and left for ages on her on with nothing to actually say that?

ThePoshUns · 31/12/2024 07:07

corianderpomander · 31/12/2024 06:33

Sounds like you're pissed off you have to do some childcare. Why haven't you checked your children's passports? Or is that just the woman's admin?

This!
You weren't all going anyway. I'd have done the same as your wife.

GiraffesAtThePark · 31/12/2024 07:07

I think if I went I’d feel so guilty and not be able to enjoy the trip. I would likely feel regret about going. You both definitely need to make it up to her. Some posters don’t seem to get that it’s different to other situations where the child needs to wait on a pick up. She had expectations that she was staying with her siblings and mother. Then suddenly she’s singled out and left waiting as they go off. It’s a memory that’s likely to stick with her to adulthood.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
endofthelinefinally · 31/12/2024 07:07

There has been so much publicity about passports over the last couple of years I don't understand how anyone can book a holiday without checking and double checking. Getting a new passport is so quick and easy now, this was completely avoidable. What a shame for the poor child left behind.

Merrilydancing · 31/12/2024 07:09

What kind of message does it give, leaving your child alone in the airport to continue on your trip and yes it is the mother’s fault for the fuck up on the passport as she was the adult traveller in this situation so responsible for making sure all documentation was in order.

Hesonlyakidharry · 31/12/2024 07:11

@Longboardpedro
You should have posted this as a woman saying her ex husband/husband left one of the kids at the airport. You’d have got very different responses. On mumsnet, women can do no wrong and men will be blamed no matter what.

There is a thread on here every week about a kid’s passport expiring and mum’s are asking what they should do. They are overwhelmingly told to either get a fast track passport or, if it’s not possible, to cancel the trip because you can’t possibly leave one child at home.

Your wife would have been ripped apart for her decision if you had said she was your ex husband/husband.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 31/12/2024 07:11

Tbh if they're visiting family it isn't the holiday of a lifetime. In that instance, if you were all meant to be heading off for a once in a lifetime family holiday then yes, all or nothing.

Visiting family, in a fairly close European country? Fine, she'll go next time. Sure, she's disappointed, but take her for a Macdonald's and a few treats and she'll be fine. Next time, you'll both check passports better.

Zippedydodah · 31/12/2024 07:13

So your wife literally abandoned your 9 year old , leaving her alone in an airport until you collected her? Highly unlikely.
bet that spoiled your plans for the week, having to look after your dd. Why didn’t you check the passports?

OnlyWhenILaugh · 31/12/2024 07:14

The OP doesn't say the child was left alone.

What he says is that he dropped his family at the airport and his 9 year old was expecting to go with her mum and siblings on a trip to visit relatives.

Out of the blue, she's told her Mum has messed up big time and she won't be getting on the plane with her mum and siblings.

I don't know any 9 year old who wouldn't have been shocked and upset in those specific circumstances.

If it turns out the others boarded, leaving the 9 year old to wait for her df I'll be utterly shocked. That's not like leaving your dc in the school playground as a pp suggested.

MumonabikeE5 · 31/12/2024 07:15

If this had happened and my husband had left my kid I would have sucked up any annoyance I might feel/any pissed offness at his ineptitude and would have decided to go on a impromptu mystery trip somewhere- my nine year old loves a premier inn, we’d go somewhere new, find something fun, and we’d have a special time together. You have to roll with it, if you focus on the wrongs and should haves of the past then the kid will stay sad, if you change things up and show them how happy you are to be together instead I think they’d come on board pretty quick

SALaw · 31/12/2024 07:15

But you weren't all going - you weren't going. My view would be different if there wasn't a parent already staying behind.

DreamW3aver · 31/12/2024 07:16

LongDistanceClara44 · 31/12/2024 06:44

I can't imagine any situation where I would leave a 9 year old at the airport by herself to wait to be collected while I got on a plane with her siblings.

I don't think it's clear enough whether the child was left at the airport alone or there was time before the flight for the OP to return to the airport.

It's a tough call but I think I'd do what the wife did rather than waste all the tickets and disappoint the other children and all the family in Germany

Aberentian · 31/12/2024 07:16

It's not just a holiday, she was going to see her family.

You're not the one who lives away from your extended family and country of birth, don't underestimate how hard it can be.

She did the right thing in my opinion. There was a parent available to look after the oldest. It's up to you now to spoil her and make sure she's not too sad about missing out. Instead of slating your wife, hold your end up.

MissTrip82 · 31/12/2024 07:16

Goodness you both really let her down not checking that.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with continuing with the trip, thankfully you were at home to look after her or it would have to have been cancelled.

On the upside you get to have a great time together and if you focus on that this will be a funny story when she’s older.

OnlyWhenILaugh · 31/12/2024 07:17

MumonabikeE5 · 31/12/2024 07:15

If this had happened and my husband had left my kid I would have sucked up any annoyance I might feel/any pissed offness at his ineptitude and would have decided to go on a impromptu mystery trip somewhere- my nine year old loves a premier inn, we’d go somewhere new, find something fun, and we’d have a special time together. You have to roll with it, if you focus on the wrongs and should haves of the past then the kid will stay sad, if you change things up and show them how happy you are to be together instead I think they’d come on board pretty quick

How do you know he hasn't been the perfect father?

He's not asking how to deal with his dd. He's asking h if others would have still gone away, leaving one at the airport.

HardenYourHeart · 31/12/2024 07:17

Longboardpedro · 31/12/2024 06:39

She was old enough to understand...but not really either. She was 9 and it really upset her to be honest.

No.occasion, just to see family and no concerns over anything else.

I think this is really important information. If your eldest had already been an adult or near adult than I would say fair enough. There is a decisions to be made right then and there about seeing the grandparents or not. But leaving a 9 year old at the airport by herself is not okay. Plus, this was your wife's mistake and her daughter is paying the price for it.

No, I do not agree with your wife's actions. I'd spoil your daughter as much as possible for the remainder of her free days.

Completelyjo · 31/12/2024 07:17

Hesonlyakidharry · 31/12/2024 07:11

@Longboardpedro
You should have posted this as a woman saying her ex husband/husband left one of the kids at the airport. You’d have got very different responses. On mumsnet, women can do no wrong and men will be blamed no matter what.

There is a thread on here every week about a kid’s passport expiring and mum’s are asking what they should do. They are overwhelmingly told to either get a fast track passport or, if it’s not possible, to cancel the trip because you can’t possibly leave one child at home.

Your wife would have been ripped apart for her decision if you had said she was your ex husband/husband.

Edited

Personally I don’t view a family visit as similar to a holiday. While I wouldn’t leave one child to go on a beach holiday where the purpose of the trip was a week of fun together, I have left different children for different reasons to visit my home country.

Aberentian · 31/12/2024 07:18

Oh it does sound like she was left past security by herself. I wouldn't have done that.

Not impressed with your "had to pick up the pieces" though. Yeah, you had to look after your kid. You could have made it a good week for her.

PeppyGreenFinch · 31/12/2024 07:19

Hesonlyakidharry · 31/12/2024 07:11

@Longboardpedro
You should have posted this as a woman saying her ex husband/husband left one of the kids at the airport. You’d have got very different responses. On mumsnet, women can do no wrong and men will be blamed no matter what.

There is a thread on here every week about a kid’s passport expiring and mum’s are asking what they should do. They are overwhelmingly told to either get a fast track passport or, if it’s not possible, to cancel the trip because you can’t possibly leave one child at home.

Your wife would have been ripped apart for her decision if you had said she was your ex husband/husband.

Edited

My mum and dad were are from another country, we were used to either mum or dad going home to see their parents from a young age.

We were fine with it because we were equally attached to both parents. As long as one parent remained with us we were secure.

In this situation, it was sad and disappointing for the 9yo, but it was also an opportunity for her to spend time with her dad and have some special treats and days out.

OP says he was left picking up the pieces so I think he is a bit peeved his child free week didn’t pan out.

OnlyWhenILaugh · 31/12/2024 07:19

I have left different children for different reasons to visit my home country

At the airport? With no preparation? Because you messed up?

There's a big difference between planning a trip without one dc and this scenario.

MissTrip82 · 31/12/2024 07:21

Hesonlyakidharry · 31/12/2024 07:11

@Longboardpedro
You should have posted this as a woman saying her ex husband/husband left one of the kids at the airport. You’d have got very different responses. On mumsnet, women can do no wrong and men will be blamed no matter what.

There is a thread on here every week about a kid’s passport expiring and mum’s are asking what they should do. They are overwhelmingly told to either get a fast track passport or, if it’s not possible, to cancel the trip because you can’t possibly leave one child at home.

Your wife would have been ripped apart for her decision if you had said she was your ex husband/husband.

Edited

Really? I’ve never seen this. You’ve seen multiple threads where there’s a parent staying at home and the kid is left with them whilst the other parent carries on to see family when a mistake like this happens?

Can you quickly link a couple? If they’re weekly.

pinkgrevillea · 31/12/2024 07:21

If you live in another country it would be very hard to not go home. Good lesson learned for you both to check passports and you'll get to spend some time with your daughter. Yes, I would have done that in her shoes, why should everyone miss out? And my DH would say the same and insist I go, and take great care of the kid who missed out.

MeridianB · 31/12/2024 07:23

Not sure why you’re getting such a hard time, OP.

It’s the travelling parent’s job to manage the travel docs.

No way I’d have left a 9yo alone at an airport.

PigglyWigglyOhYeah · 31/12/2024 07:24

Survivingnotthriving24 · 31/12/2024 06:54

Leaving a 9 year old alone in an airport is unacceptable to me.

And me.

MumonabikeE5 · 31/12/2024 07:24

OnlyWhenILaugh · 31/12/2024 07:17

How do you know he hasn't been the perfect father?

He's not asking how to deal with his dd. He's asking h if others would have still gone away, leaving one at the airport.

Show quote history

you’re right, but he says the kid has been moping for a week.

id have left my eldest (9) in this situation, and my husband would have turned things around, and my kid will have had an ace time.