Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

OP said his DD was turned back at the gate so it is likely. I doubt he waited around in the airport after dropping them off and they went through to departures but I guess he should have just in case and that’s his fault too.

OP may have had to work.

Why would he need to check passports for a trip the mother had planned and arranged?

The man hatred on MN is something to behold and totally pathetic.

OP your wife should certainly not have left your 9 year old alone at the airport and abandoned her to go on a trip which could easily have been rearranged. Sounds like a pretty crappy, disorganised mum to me.

Of course there is, but that’s the situation they found themselves in and nothing is really made better by the wife not seeing her family. The DD was unfortunately still missing out either way.

I wonder how much is “frequently” in terms of the wife seeing her family anyway.
It’s a big deal for me to fly to see my family, there’s a bunch of admin, the cost, the school holidays etc. My DH would probably say I see my family regularly but the reality is I fly there probably 3 times a year which actually isn’t much and certainly not to cancel a trip and go several months later.

To be fair it does sound like it is the wife's trip, IMHO that puts the ball in her court.

But I think OP is only annoyed and posting because he had plans which now have to be cancelled.

@Longboardpedro never mind, DW has probably saved you a hangover

I haven’t seen it either. There was a thread a few days ago where the ex husband has planned a trip to Florida (likely including Disneyland) for his new wife, his wife’s children and their new child, but excluded his child from his previous marriage. Maybe she is referring to that.

I just don’t understand what has happened.

If OP’s wife realised only as she was boarding that the passport was out of date then that means the plane must have been departing fairly imminently. There wouldn’t have been time for OP’s wife to take the daughter back through security to “land side”, and then go back through security to catch the plane.

And I don’t see how the daughter could have been just left at the gate either. Airport staff don’t provide a babysitting service! Would airline staff have allowed her to board while leaving the daughter? Wouldn’t police/social services need to be called from a safeguarding point of view?

And if the daughter had been left at the gate while the mum and siblings departed then how did OP get through security to collect her - did he buy a ticket to catch a flight to go through security? Because you won’t be let through without one.

I just can’t see airport staff and security being happy for OPs wife just to abandon and unaccompanied 9 year old and give to facilitate OP picking her up.

This all seems very odd.

I wouldn’t have done this. I have a 9 year old and also visit family abroad regularly. Not sure how this was missed, most airlines you have to check-in online before you go to the airport. As we travel to Europe frequently I know when my kids passports are due to be renewed. My German friend in the UK also has dual citizenships for her kids and they can enter on a German passport.

Anyway why didn’t you go?

I read picking up the pieces as being picking up the pieces of his daughters emotional upset. I didn’t read it as whining. Just cross on his daughters behalf.

@pinkgrevillea And my DH would say the same and insist I go, and take great care of the kid who missed out.

My DH would also have said take the other 2, and that him and DD would have a great time together and he would make it fun for her!

Checking the passports was on the DM as she was the one doing the trip.

She messed up, it happens, and she had to make a very difficult decision in a very short space of time. Did she make the right decision - it's hard to know. If she hadn't have gone she would have missed an opportunity to spend time with her DPs - don't know what age they are but may be getting on a bit so she wants to check on them and the other DCs would miss out their chance to go away.

People are saying she left her 9 year old alone at the airport, but I'm presuming that she waited until OP got there so she didn't literally just abandon her.

I think life happens sometimes and it's best not to get too overwrought about decisions you would have chosen to make, but weren't in the position to have to make them.

OP you can make NYE really special for your DD with just the two of you.

To be fair you don’t need to look at your passport to check in so checking in online isn’t really relevant.

You're getting a hard time OP. I wouldn't have left my 9yo alone at an airport while I boarded a flight with two of their siblings. To me that's crazy.

Yes this. I renewed my child’s passport last September after the August holidays and it took 10 days. Application couldn’t have been easier.

it takes 6 months in my home country and you need to get an person appointment first (which can take months too)!

I agree.

Did your wife call you from the gate and you talked through this decision then? I can’t imagine she left DD and airport staff called you.

OP, how long ago was this? You say DD was 9. So is she older now? Still affects her?

You can't be certain of that even with your own child. What if your dh had been working all week?

Yes. You can’t check in online without entering passport information. I fly 5-10 times a year for work and holidays and never not needed passport Information to check-in online.

Are you pissed off that you have to mind her now, when you would have had free time?

It's both parents' responsibility to make sure their children's passports are in order.

She was 9 or she is 9? When did this happen?

Well my husband wouldn’t be working this week.

but you’re right.

i wouldn’t have left a kid behind if my husband couldn’t sufficiently care for and amuse them

I’m literally visiting family right now on a European airline in an EU country and did not and never have put my passport details in to check in.

Hard situation but confusedvif this is recent? Your wife probably didnt want to waste tickets. Im not sure what i would have done myself

I wouldn’t have left one of my children like this.

There's no way I'd have left a 9 year old at the airport by herself and caught a flight with my other children.

It also depends on the financial situation and when another visit is possible.

We don't see our parents a lot because of time restrictions with DD's exams, school holidays, permanent isllness and school holidays, so going is carefully planned.

Also our parents are 87 and 92, so it's important to go when planned.

New flights are expensive.

‘We either all go or no one goes’ is clearly not your thinking as you were not going with them to Germany!
You could easily have checked that the passports were all in date and you didn’t. Your wife did the right thing and it seems you’re just annoyed that you’ve missed out on time with your wife and kids not being around.

Of course one of the joys of brexit is the new rules about passport validity when travelling to the EU. Seen several stories about people being caught out.