Leaving a child at the airport

[Longboardpedro]

I have 3 kids with my wife. She is from Germany but we live in the UK. She had tickets to head back to see family for new years.

Unfortunately my eldest daughter only had 2 months left on her passport so when they reached the final gate for departure, my eldest was turned away from flying.

I had to collect her and bring her home whilst my wife carried on with her trip to germany with the 2 other kids. My eldest was heartbroken.

I was shocked, as this is something I could never do. We either all go or no one goes is how I approach things but keen to get some feedback from other parents on their opinions if that was OK?

It’s really shit that neither of you checked the passport situation beforehand. It’s very, very common knowledge that you need at least 3 months on the passport for most European countries now. You both could have easily avoided this. Your poor daughter but I do understand your wife doing what she did, why waste the ticket money and not get to see her family?

Well its basic utilitarianism which feels pretty Germanic to me tbh!!!

As a mother I think I'd hate it either way and berate myself for dropping the ball but reckon I'd be about 80/20 in the" go with the other kids" camp

I would expect which ever parent stayed with the remaining child to plan a range of "fun stuff" and treats as default to "make good" this disappointment of not going.

Its crap and annoying but its also just life.

I have needlessly missed 6 flights in my life for dumb reasons; wrong airport, wrong day, wrong terminal, old passport, expired passport and just good old fashioned no passport 🤷🏻‍♀️
Its happens

MN is a funny place. So many happy to leave their nine year old in an airport alone (other parent doesn’t appear instantaneously) yet couldn’t possibly leave their nine year old at home for 15min while they pop to the shop.

Ahh, the classic “man bashing” Mumsnet thread.

If this was the wife saying her husband left the eldest at the airport, these comments would be flooded with outrage at the cruelty and audacity of him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Op, I will condemn your wife. You are both responsible for checking your daughter’s passport beforehand.
However, simply leaving her at the airport is beyond cruel. No, I would never, ever do that. We all go or none go. I couldn’t hurt my child like that.

I edited my post because I’ve just seen that she was 9!!
9!!
She left a 9 year old child behind?? That’s just the height of callousness!

Why should your wife have to miss out on seeing her family because you forgot to check your daughter’s passport?

I personally wouldn't but we always travel as a family and always for holidays so I would stay home with my child while my husband took the other dc. This is essentially the situation which happened here so I think as long as you did some fun things with your daughter and perhaps she and your wife could fly out for a special mummy and daughter trip for a weekend when her passport comes back. As parents it is our job to minimise impact and make the most of a bad situation.

For the future I would apply for a German passport for all the children and also put a note in your phone calendar seven months before the passports expire.

Or the child was completely distraught and he had to pick up the pieces.

Personally, I wouldn't have gone. I would have rebooked it for all. I wouldn't want my daughter to bear the consequences of the parent(s)'s mistake, especially if she was looking forward to it. If my mom had done that to me, I would have felt hearbroken. As for all go or no one goes - I think it's quite obvious that this applies to family members who had planned to go on a trip together.

Who looked after the 9yo until you could get there? Surely she wasn’t toke to get herself back through security and wait on her own?

i was assuming 14-15 at which point this would be ok. Not 9.

I think it was a sensible thing to do although such a shame the passport wasn't checked. Hopefully the 9 year old understands what happened and wasn't waiting alone. Better do something lovely with them to make make up for the parental incompetence.

Why was it on the OP to check passports for a trip he wasn’t going on and was for his wife to visit her family?

Are you suggesting his wife is too helpless and/or stupid to have been responsible for this herself?

Come on. The parent planning and going on the trip has ultimate responsibility for checking passports before getting to the gate!

Have you now renewed the passport? As someone with dual nationality, you should look into getting your children their EU passports if they don't already have them. It makes travel into the Schengen zone much easier and obviously not subject to the 90 day rule or ESTA. Although as UK also bringing in a version of this, they still need UK passport to travel back in.

So you think the other 2 children and the family back in Germany should also be upset? That somehow makes it better? Your daughter had 2 parents and neither of you thought to check her passport so you are both to blame, but your wife isn’t wrong to go ahead with the trip.

It just happened I think, they’re going to Germany for new year

It's not a case of "we all go or none of us go" because, well, you weren't actually going.

Of course your DD was upset. Totally understandable. These things happen sometimes, unfortunately. I think I'd have made the same decision as your wife.

Presumably they have German citizenship, then by law they have to enter and leave Germany presenting their German IDs and they have to enter and leave the UK if they have UK citizenship. So dual nationals travelling between the two countries must carry both.

It sounds like you blame your wife. But both of you u have responsibility for your children’s passports.

Doesn't it just!

Don’t see the edit button, I missed out the bit about entering and leaving UK on Uk passport.

I have a 9 year old and I can't imagine ever leaving her behind. Although in the wife's position I'd be desperate to visit family, I really don't think I could get on the plane without her.

Also, if I was travelling without DH, I wouldn't expect him to do any of the admit related to travel. When we travel together, the admin is a join responsibility, if we travel separately we deal with it ourselves.