Grandparent slapped grandchild

[bluestoneboys]

How do you deal with a grandparent who slapped a grandchild round side of face, left a handprint, then claims ‘it wasn’t hard’ and ‘it was the only way to prevent further harm from angry dog’
child has autism and adhd as well as history of SA on fathers side so has no contact with them. He was shouting, swearing and hitting at the time (struggling with self regulating usually but these episodes are getting worse)
grandparents see him as disrespectful and rude
Currently he now has no unsupervised contact with said grandparent, he has lots of outside agencies involved due to previous abuse and very worried now that my own family will end up being the nail in the coffin when it comes to social services due to their lack of understanding and support, but also feel so sad for him because he doesn’t seem to now have a solid relationship with anyone but me.
Family place all blame on me and say that he’s just got a lack of discipline (which is not true imo)
Just about losing my mind now as I just want him to feel safe and happy - hes only 8 and already classed as suicidal by medical professionals and he’s had all the therapy he can have but it’s no use when everyone else is on a different page 💔

Hi OP this is a difficult situation for you.

Is there any way you can rent somewhere else to live?

You need to ask?!

You go no contact and protect your child. Now.

They live in the same house.

Is your son still hitting you @bluestoneboys?

Did you ever manage to home educate him?

You should report to the police op it's assault and never contact said GP again imo.

Just seen you rent from them. I'm guessing they overstep boundaries a lot. You need to speak to social services, your GP anyone you can about getting support to obtain social housing and get away from them.

@TheShellBeach - my response remains the same. You live in the same house? You STILL protect your child and go no contact. Leave.

Yes, unfortunately now get told by parents that having no support from them is my own fault for ‘choosing’ to not leave him alone with them

No I live 10 miles away, I rent land from them, which is my main source of income.

Yes! He is now a lot happier away from the school, and doing fantastic, he’s doing both math and English three years above his age and excelling at science now too! So that’s definitely a positive

Yes but definitely at a hugely reduced amount since removing him from school!

That's great! So much better for him.

I'm sorry for saying that you lived in the same house with your parents. I got that wrong.

But if they're ten miles away, why does your son ever need to see them?

That's clearly a big improvement, too.

It’s land I rent from them not housing unfortunately although I have been looking for a good year currently for somewhere else, even better if I can find somewhere to live on site 😪 as that will then leave nothing to hold over me and therefore my child

Yes this, they have said they would happily do a course, but putting things into action is a completely different story and obviously a course doesn’t make up for what happened in any shape

Has anyone actually shown your parents how your child should be dealt with?

yes definitely, I think it comes down to him feeling ‘caged in’ - he has good manners, he’s kind, polite etc and a very happy kid, but it is all on his own terms, he doesn’t like the word no but I don’t think he’s arguing against no, I think he just gets thrown into panic because he can’t regulate when his ‘plan’ fails… which obviously 100% needs work at some point, but I think shouldn’t be the biggest issue right now, that will come when he’s in a better headspace

As I rent land pretty much on their doorstep, which I work from (equine use) I need to be there a few times a day, currently working on him not waltzing into their house while I go and do some work, he’s more than capable of coming with me and being helpful, even has his own pony out there, but the change of weather has seen him choosing to go into their house, where then it becomes a drama

Yes they disagree

Thank you 🙏

She doesn’t live with them she rents from them. If you’re gonna throw your judgments around at least read what she’s written properly first.

Totally agree with this.

Sorry?