How old to tuck child in and leave them alone to fall asleep?

[Weddingbells6]

I have a 7 year old, small night light and Tonie box in their bedroom. Since they were born I have laid on the floor for 20-40 minutes each night either reading to them or singing nursery rhymes etc while they fall asleep or are almost asleep and I feel ready to claw some of that time back for myself.

What age did you start tucking yours in and saying I love you etc and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own? I’m feeling a bit guilty. I supervise brushing teeth and toileting first obviously.

Thanks

My son was easy and e didn’t need to. My DD was hard work and it was almost easier to spend the 15mins next to her. However we stopped at 6/7, I just started by tidying up and saying I would be back.. but of course stayed downstairs.

From 6 months old. I have 3 under 3. Now 5,4 and 2. It has not been easy. It’s actually been so hard but we have a routine. One book, twinkle twinkle little star sung twice and a personal, brief, goodnight to each of them. Stayed firm but will be flexible if they’re in distress. That can include them not being developmentally ready - 2 year old is currently massively pushing boundaries - if they’re ill, if they’re sad/angry. Will always adjust if something is wrong. But generally that is the rules and tbh all 3 (ADHD) boys go to bed happily and sleep through. Btw. Adjustments are just taking them back to bed and trying again. not letting them downstairs or staying up later

My eldest is a tween and sometimes i still get to snuggle up in his bed until he falls asleep! This occurs less frequently now do I really make the most of it before he is a completely grumpy teen! He could however always fall asleep by himself no problem from around 18 months if needed.

The youngest, 2.5 yrs, is an awful sleeper and I reckon he'll probably be co-sleeping with us forever!

That's such good going! I'm not saying that I think it can't be done, just that surely it's not something like 80% that seemed to be the first page of responses!

Since he moved into his own bedroom at four months 😂

I agree. With mine we did bed, teeth, bath (if it was a bath night) and story from a few months old. No sleep training and went back in if needed, but didn't stay with them until they fell asleep. We also had "phases" where it would change a bit and they needed a bit more, but I was not going to sleep on the floor next to them.

Most people here have given factual answers.

I hope OP takes comfort in the fact that she has handled it her own way and now with the change her daughter seems normal in the adjustment with a bit of sad eyes but she has accepted it. It is in no way cruel to do so.

We still now have a bedtime routine of my 11 year old hoping into the shower whilst we are downstairs and then we still go up and do the chat / read at his ber time and then it's his time to read till we pop back up again at 10:00pm and it's "sleep time". He sleeps well and always has but sometimes we have had phases ( at any older age think 4+ onwards) which most kids go through (or there is something on their mind / change etc) and of course you adjust to going back in, settling etc.

Since they were babies.

First child - about age 4

Second child - from birth

I think a lot depends on genetic lottery as to whether your child can settle, many can fall asleep themselves from the off, and others feel anxious being left alone.
Our older we forcibly let him fall asleep on his own from about 18 months, but it was not a pretty situation. From a baby you had to hold him to fall asleep, none of this drowsy but awake rubbish.
Younger one no such issue, once he was about 1 he was happy to fall asleep himself (although also happy to get himself up and wander out to find me..)
I definitely feel a predictable evening and bed time is really good for the parents, and therefore pays dividends for the child. It's a great bonus time saver, where children need help with so much else at these ages.

We moved my son to his proper bed when he was 2, and we'd been leaving him to roll around chatting to himself before falling asleep by himself for some time before that.

A mid-way option I did was to have a bath after putting DS to bed. He could hear that I was close by (rather than me going downstairs) and generally would fall asleep whilst I was in the bath.

DD1 likes to fall asleep with someone there, always has. I actually don't mind it as it only takes 20 mins or so and that kind of pre-sleep, starting to drift off state is when she tends to say more about her day or stuff that's bothering her. She has a double bed though so no lying on floor! One of us just gets in with her.

DD2 has never needed or wanted that and goes to sleep on her own after stories and being told goodnight.

Just very different personalities and temperaments.

Ds had a story, cuddle & then sleep from about 3, but I was only in the next room watching TV as exh hogged the downstairs TV watching Sci fi crap.

Around 12 months with DC1 and around 9 months with DC2! Sorry as I realise that isn't helpful for you! But all children are different.

Me too
As long as they were fed and winded they were away with the fairies