How old to tuck child in and leave them alone to fall asleep?

[Weddingbells6]

I have a 7 year old, small night light and Tonie box in their bedroom. Since they were born I have laid on the floor for 20-40 minutes each night either reading to them or singing nursery rhymes etc while they fall asleep or are almost asleep and I feel ready to claw some of that time back for myself.

What age did you start tucking yours in and saying I love you etc and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own? I’m feeling a bit guilty. I supervise brushing teeth and toileting first obviously.

Thanks

The vast majority of people are simply explaining what they did which is what was asked, to be fair.

Some have expressed shock which I think is understandable. 7 is far from a baby.

It’s also an assumption that everyone who responded with babies who could fall to sleep by themselves has sleep trained.

From about 6 months apart from sleep regressions or when she's not well and can't settle. Never left to cry, but I'd be in to sooth and straight back out rather than stay in the room

11 weeks.

When my son stopped feeding to sleep at around 5 or 6 months we started just putting him in his cot to fall asleep by himself. No chance he’d have fallen asleep with us there, if we were in the room he’d want to play. He never napped in the pram/buggy for the same reason. From a temperament perceptive us being there would never have worked, and now I’m very glad that at 3 I can just tuck him into bed, give him a kiss on the forehead and he’ll roll over and snuggle up under his duvet before I’ve even left the room.

They're only little for such a short amount of time. Mine like me to be in the room until they're asleep (6 and 8).
It's a special time for us, reading, talking about the day and having cuddles. It probably won't be like this for too much longer so I am just going with it and enjoying the time with them.

I always put my 2 down awake. This was baby led really. My eldest had explosive reflux. I had to do so much burping during each feed it meant she was always awake when it came to putting her in her cot. As long as she had her dummy and her sleep sheep playing whale noise she was happy to go to sleep on her own.

My youngest always did a poo straight after a feed so changing her kept her awake. She also had reflux so lots of burping kept her awake during bedtime feeds. In the beginning she used to cry when I put her in her cot. I tried picking her up, rocking, walking round with her but honestly it seemed to give her the rage. So we just went back when she cried & stroked her head until she was calm. Then we walked away while she was quiet but awake and she went to sleep on her own.

Honestly, no. I said upthread - those 15/20 minutes where we just snuggle and I make up a story as she falls asleep are some of my favourite moments of the day. Nothing beats a snuggly sleepy child, 9 times out of 10 I absolutely adore it. I suppose I’m lucky in that it usually only takes 20 minutes max, maybe if it was hours my answer might be different but I’ll be genuinely sad when I can just kiss her goodnight and close the door.

I stopped once I realised that DS was totally playing up for me and when it was just DH there, he'd go to bed like a dream.

My son is almost 12 and he still asks me to snuggle up with him before he goes to sleep. I love it. We often laugh a lot before he falls to sleep. He won’t want me to snuggle in another year I guess so I’m making the most of it. My daughter likes her own space and just likes to have a quick kiss good night.

I never waited with either of mine until they fell asleep, apart from if they were ill / otherwise unsettled for some reason.

OP I think you’re going to get a lot of divisive opinion here, but lying with them isn’t a ‘bad habit’ as some will make you believe. I doubt you’ll be doing this at 18 & your little one will know you’re always there for them when they need it. Some children will happily go to sleep alone, others won’t. It’s temperament & you should just do what feels right for you and your child. Lying with them to sleep isn’t going to create an anxiety disorder or complete lack of resilience as some would claim.

We put our son down awake but sleepy at a few months old. Swaddled.
Self soothed from then.
We wanted him to feel safe self soothing because my stepson was still needing to fall asleep with someone at 9.
It worked well for us.

I always put my currently 2 & 6 year old to bed and wait until they've fallen asleep after a story, kisses and I love you.
I enjoy waiting until they've fallen asleep next to me

Also from birth fell asleep perfectly happily

The day I brought him home from hospital.

Admittedly these days it is recommended that babies room in with you, but I would say as soon as they move into their own cot in their own room I would start weaning them off me being there.

I have never done it. As babies they got a cuddle while having there last bottle and put down to sleep. Since about age 1 it's bath, story and cuddle and we leave the room and they go to sleep. I wouldn't entertain sitting in a room every night for ages as i think it makes it harder to sleep.

I'm thinking surely the snapshot of replies on page 1 doesn't reflect the average population. It sounds like so many babies going to sleep by themselves so young, it just doesn't sound like most people I know and the one friend I have that did this left them to cry to get used to it.

I have just managed to graduate my 3 year old to from breastfeeding to sleep to falling asleep while holding my hand. I'd like to think it won't be too long untill we can go out and leave him, at 7 or definitely isn't too mean for you to try.

from 2.5 years old

I don't think anyone is being smug, she asked and people are telling what they did. All kids are different- mine went down sleepy but awake from birth and that worked for her, she was a good sleeper. Obviously not every time and of course when she was ill etc. she wanted more cuddles which she of course got - but it wasn't sleep training and that's just what we did and what worked for us 🤷‍♀️ I think most people posting similar are doing so in the same spirit.

From small babyhood - maybe two months or so. I discovered by accident that, if left alone, my baby would grizzle for a minute or two and then go quickly to sleep, which was extremely liberating. I know I was very lucky to have an easy sleeper. I would have struggled if I couldn't have slept well myself.

I’ve never left mine to cry but I did put them down awake pretty much from day dot so it’s just always been that way.

Around 7 months when they went in their own room. I have a 6 nearly 7 year old and we have stories and lots of cuddles (she actually still sleeps in my bed one nights a week), but we go downstairs around 7.30 and she mooches around, plays, reads, watches Netflix and goes to sleep in her own time. I can’t actually imagine lying on the floor of her room with her while she goes to sleep? I’d be there forever! It sounds odd to me but I don’t suppose it can be as plenty of parents do it 🤷‍♀️.

I've always done it and DS is now 6. I've tried to stop it and have managed to get myself off the bed to his bean bag but I need to step it up to being out of the room and then leaving him awake to fall asleep. It's hard though, he gets quite upset. DS2 is due in January so that'll probably put pressure on me to really stop it!😳

Just break the habit by saying goodnight, then leave the room and say you have some jobs to do in a nearby room (so he can hear you nearby). Eventually tell him you have jobs to do downstairs. Tell him you’ll come and check on him and do so but gradually increase the amount of in between checking him until not needed. Let him know about this new regime in the day time

Same. We still had a lovely bedtime routine from birth - bath, bottle, bed, story, cuddles. I used to pop on his nursery rhyme tape/story as i left our room and he would fall asleep to it. This continued in a similar form (minus some bits) until he was 11/12. When he was very young he started wanting to chat at bedtime and we had some great chats. Even now at 19 he still kisses me goodnight and enjoys a lengthy chat when I go to bed (late!) and he's invariably still awake!