How old to tuck child in and leave them alone to fall asleep?

[Weddingbells6]

I have a 7 year old, small night light and Tonie box in their bedroom. Since they were born I have laid on the floor for 20-40 minutes each night either reading to them or singing nursery rhymes etc while they fall asleep or are almost asleep and I feel ready to claw some of that time back for myself.

What age did you start tucking yours in and saying I love you etc and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own? I’m feeling a bit guilty. I supervise brushing teeth and toileting first obviously.

Thanks

I have 3 children and all 3 it's teeth toilet bed, story kiss goodnight and out. 8pm onwards it's our time. I love them to peices but after a long day of doing everything for them, it's my time at night. They luckily don't cry and are all asleep within 15 minutes. But you've gotta have some me time for your own sanity. Mine are 9, 4 and 2

Well our child had a story pretty much from birth, then a bit of a chat, goodnight then bed, we saw no need to have long drawn out thing every night

Lying on the floor for up to 40 mins for a 7 yr old to fall
asleep? I'm always amazed on MN that hardly any children go to sleep independently.
Being a parent does not equal martyring yourself at the feet of a small child.

Since 6 months I guess. As soon as they went in their own room.

About 6 months when I started putting them to bed earlier than me. I didn’t realise this wasn’t normal

From 6 weeks. Did bath, massage, books, singing cuddles bed. Then if they woke very boring interaction.
Did it from day 5 for all of them. But left them from 6 weeks predictably

About 6mo.
Is this really a thing?

Basically from birth. As babies, of course, I swaddled them up and left them to sleep. I started to 'read' to them from a few months old, age appropriate 'books' but once I had done that I would tuck them in, say goodnight and leave the bedroom. I read to them every night until they were maybe 7? But after I had done some reading to them, I said goodnight and left the room. Then it changed to tucking them into bed and letting them read for a wee while before they lay down and went to sleep.

I would never have dreamt of staying in the room until they went to sleep. But I guess I was maybe lucky? That doesn't mean there weren't some occasions when one or other of them woke up later and came through to us, but we would take them back to bed after checking if they were thirsty, needing the loo ( or a nappy change) and tuck them in again

Why is it that people who leave their kids alone and sleep train from a young age are so intent on pushing their theory of sleep on everyone they meet? They are always trying to make people who don't do that feel like a mug or feel stupid. It's the people most insecure about their religion that try to push it on others.

I left mine alone to fall asleep from about six months, when they were in their own rooms. I had a monitor, of course.

Obviously if they didn't settle I'd go in to them.

I never, ever lay on the floor or on the bed with them until they fell asleep.

Just wanted to add - it's all about temperament. No chance we could have left our DD at six months to settle without us, even if we followed every rule in the book! Every child is different and no one has done anything wrong if theirs isn't settling alone from young.

Hope tonight goes well OP.

Who's trying to push anything? If you can put your child to bed, give them a kiss cuddle and leave wouldn't you? My children do this, I've never let them cry it out, if they're having a bad night and won't settle I'll of course go and lay in bed with them and comfort them untill they fall asleep but that's not the norm in our house and it's not a result of sleep training, I just have 3 children that thankfully like there sleep

My little one is just over 2 and we are now able to tuck in, kiss night night and tell him ‘mummy/daddy is just sitting outside’, check in after 10mins or so, and he is fine with this now. In fact, he does the same when he plays putting his teddies to bed now!

6 year old been doing it since she was 3

My 7 yo still likes me to hold his hand until he goes to sleep. I am starting to discuss it with him but he got very upset about it so I’ve said a little while longer. He knows it’s coming though.

I’ve always co slept so just feels right to me.

ironic thing is he’s done sleepovers with grandparents and scouts and they don’t have to stay! So it’s just a me/routine thing. But I enjoy our bedtime chats. Each to their own.

What is it with the competitive child bedtime abandonment 😂 I left my kids ALONE to sleep the SECOND they were out of my womb because I’m a GREAT parent!!

Seriously OP do whatever works for you and your child and don’t feel remotely guilty. The time they want you by their side is so limited and so precious. I used to sit outside my kids bedroom door so if they needed me I was there (with my wine and book).

6 for the older one and 7 for little legs. I'm very glad for all these people who've left their kids alone in their rooms from 6 months old, but you really can't do that if you've got the kind of kid who won't have it. They just cry and cry until they're so upset there's no chance of sleep. Easier to lay on the floor for 30mins than endure an evening up and down the stairs while they cry themselves sick. Also it's cruel, they're only little kids, they want the comfort of mum or dad in the room with them for a small bit of the evening. It's not forever. Yes, it's great now that we can have our evenings fully to ourselves and start our binge watching of a show at 7.30pm after showers and tooth brushing, but I didn't have kids thinking my evenings would be entirely my own while they were young.

Our eldest needed one of us with him to fall asleep til he was 3.5. Our youngest gets stories, tucked in and cuddled, and goes to sleep himself since he was about 18 months old.

As soon as I stopped breastfeeding so when DC was 11 months. DC stopped wanting feeds at nap time probably around 7-8 months so would have started for nap time then.

We also don’t supervise toilet or teeth brushing. Help with hair wash but don’t stay in the bathroom for rest of bath (but within ear shot). DC is just turned 6. We stopped monitoring bathtime around a year ago.

I don't ever remember waiting around in their room for them to fall asleep. And they were in their own room from day 1

Oh gawd, 7 years of that?? I would have had a mental breakdown by then. I put mine down to sleep by themselves from day 1, they slept in the nursery alone from about 6 weeks. They are 8, 10 and 15 now, they all put themselves to bed each evening (I double check the 8 and 10 year old haven’t forgotten to brush their teeth but that’s about it). But I don’t know if I’ve just got a children who don't mind, or if it’s because they’ve never known any different 🤔

2 years for the first one , 10 years for the second. But to be fair I used to get in bed with them and it was a nice little rest, so I definitely prolonged it more than I needed to. 🤣 They also used to tell me all the tales from the day and we'd sing songs, read stories, tell jokes, do quizzes. (Children shared room)

About 1 and a half. We used to sit and rock her then one day I sat down and she looked right at me and said 'bed.' so I put her in and that was that

Equally, if you’re bloody sick of it after 7 years, it’s ok for them to learn to sleep on their own. We wonder why kids now are so anxious when we don’t teach them to be at all self reliant…