How old to tuck child in and leave them alone to fall asleep?

[Weddingbells6]

I have a 7 year old, small night light and Tonie box in their bedroom. Since they were born I have laid on the floor for 20-40 minutes each night either reading to them or singing nursery rhymes etc while they fall asleep or are almost asleep and I feel ready to claw some of that time back for myself.

What age did you start tucking yours in and saying I love you etc and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own? I’m feeling a bit guilty. I supervise brushing teeth and toileting first obviously.

Thanks

I have a 4 year old and have been doing that since she was 3.

Ds was 8 before we could do that. We coslept until then.

We've been doing it since my son was 2.5 . No way would I be lying on the floor in his room

Honestly since they turned six months, I read a story then lights out. I’m a big softy but no way am I going to lay about on their bedroom floors, they are now 10 and 7 years old and there seems to be no lasting damage!

Have been doing that since they were 1

My younger one has had phases of wanting us to stay and we have done but we stopped with that at around 3, I think, and moved to going back in to check every few mins if he was in a phase of asking

Oh but we still do a bedtime routine with the 8 year old - read together etc - just don't stay until he is asleep

My 4 year old I've got no chance! He practically sleeps in my bed every night at the moment and even then I have to lay with him until he falls asleep.
My 1.5 year old - every night. She's always been an independent sleeper though and is quite happy to be popped in her cot and away she goes

At about age 1. There's absolutely no need to be lying on the floor at any age.

We had success with it at about 3. Audiobooks although I'm not sure tonie box would cut it at 7, my dc1 was listening to longer books by then. And we did a gradual

1/ stay in room but put clothes away
2/ put clothes away and nip on and out of other rooms upstairs
3/ stay in the other rooms for longer
4/ start going downstairs for 2 mins
5/ extend it all and by then they are used to you leaving.

About 18 months old.

At 7, why can’t you just discuss it with them?

Err… well, I do it with my 5 month old. And definitely around 2-3 yo with my older ones.

Bugger that for a game of soldiers, I want my evenings to myself. You’ve been a saint OP, tell your child it’s happening, don’t make a big deal of it and enjoy your adult time
after a busy day of parenting!

My daughter who's nearly 9 had her hand held until she fell asleep until she was 4. My boy I vowed to try and make it different. He had zero rocking or holding to fall asleep since 4 and a half months. He was straight in his room in his cot then. Think I've just been lucky with him

7 months !!

Since about 9 months

About 3. I probably could have stopped staying for a bit in her room earlier tbh but I did it more because I knew it worked and I was always so knackered I just wanted to take the easier option and stay till she was nearly asleep.

At 7 years old I wouldn't expect you to have to lie on the floor till they are asleep. What actually happens if you tuck them in and then leave?

Well I suppose I have really, I’ve pointed out that they’ll be 8 next birthday and that I’ll check on them etc. I just wanted to hear other's opinions really. I suffer from anxiety sometimes so it’s nice to hear what others do, I find it reassuring.

Honestly, I did it from birth. I always swaddled them, which made them feel safe and secure and put my t-shirt in their cot so they could smell me. I gave them a good feed and put them down sleepy but awake. They nearly always fell asleep. If they grizzled or cried I'd go and rub their backs and say comforting words. I never held them or fed them to sleep. I always thought it was a good idea to put them down slightly conscious so they didn't fall asleep on me and wake up confused.

My 6 year old I can do this with, have done probably for about a year. We did try it at 3 and it worked for about 6 months but didn’t last

Eldest since 1. Currently trying to train the 3 year old, who got into the habit when our routine changed when she was 2, because I'm not doing this when she's older. I'm hoping we'll have cracked it within a couple of months as making progress doing it gently. I think you might just need to go through a painful week or two with your 7 year old but she is old enough to understand. If you don't do it now, when?

My daughter is 5 and we still do. It eats into evening alone time but I actually don't mind it. It won't be forever and I enjoy the reading together and last conversations of the day before she sleeps. I usually get more info from her during this time than after school so it can be quite helpful actually.

I wouldn't compare what your child needs for comfort with other children because everyone is different. They're not little for long, there will be a time when they'll be telling us to get out their room

She’s accepted it, bit of grumbling and sad eyes but not coming downstairs or anything, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being cruel.

Eldest has slept on his own since before he was 2 youngest DC who is 6!! Still wants to be laid with until they are asleep and then comes into our bed throughout the night

This i dont believe in laying with kids til they fall asleep and your post is why.
Also i have always felt it must be so scary for a young child to wake up in the night alone if when they fell asleep, mummy was there?! Much better they know you've left the room while still awake, in my view. I always made sure my kids knew they are safe in our home, safe in their rooms, mum/dad are just downstairs or across the hall, and our home is safe and secure at night with doors locked etc.
My kids happily went to sleep surrounded by much loved cuddly animals etc.

Mine are 2 next month and almost 7 months and that’s exactly what I do. Since they were tiny, to be honest.

Around 18 months I think. But I would potter around upstairs, in earshot. Dc share a room snd both had a seperate little routine of cuddles etc that took a couple of minutes each after bedtime stories

With dc1 I did the gradual retreat method from13 to 15 months.

Ours (3 children) have all fallen asleep themselves since day 0! We've never stayed with them. Just book and then love you/cuddle, and they self-settle. I think if you start these things it's very difficult to stop... We've possibly been lucky, but after 3 kids you'd have thought our luck would have run out!