How old to tuck child in and leave them alone to fall asleep?

[Weddingbells6]

I have a 7 year old, small night light and Tonie box in their bedroom. Since they were born I have laid on the floor for 20-40 minutes each night either reading to them or singing nursery rhymes etc while they fall asleep or are almost asleep and I feel ready to claw some of that time back for myself.

What age did you start tucking yours in and saying I love you etc and then leaving them to fall asleep on their own? I’m feeling a bit guilty. I supervise brushing teeth and toileting first obviously.

Thanks

My eldest was about 2.5 when we started, but there was a month or.two when it was reasonably likely that she would pop.out wanting a drink or a wee. Or a drink and then a wee a bit later! My twins were nearly 3.

Yes I know people do much younger. But mine would have cried when little, and I've never been one to sleep train. DC4 currently.snoozing in her cot next to my bed, I'll tiptoe out in a minute....

From about two years old I think!

Erm I have done that since they were a few months old.

Same here. Since they went into their own room to sleep.

Honestly, about 7 or 8 weeks. A story, a cuddle, a tuck in and kiss, and then leave them to fall asleep.

Not the point but Tonies now do audiobooks as well - think they’re trying to branch out to be more appealing to older children.

Readingn all these tips as I’m sat with my three year old until she falls asleep because any attempt to leave before she’s asleep ends in disaster

I don't think I've ever lay on the floor with them. Maybe if poorly.

I used to snuggle in bed for a bit after story when 2 ISH but would mostly leave once they were settled. Occasionally they might fall asleep quickly while I was reading to them.

At seven this is nuts.

How long does bed time take if you are reading as well? Once they are doing the reading too they don't drift off to it so this adds more time than when they are small surely?

Two DC, each from 9 months which was 3 months too late really.

When DC1 started school they were very anxious and I spent a couple of
weeks sitting with them while they fell asleep. You’re a warrior to have been doing that for 7 years!

Well done for posting OP and for using the wisdom of Mumsnet to crack this habit! Now enjoy your evenings!

Probably 12/14 weeks old. Now 6 and 3 years old, both kids get into bed, have a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight, they're usually asleep within 10 minutes. Occasionally DS6 will read another book by himself for 10 minutes if he's not tired

At 7 years old that's ridiculous

Age 3. We did it before then but both had a phase around 2.5 where they didn't want to be left and it took us a few months to ease back

I do what you do op and my son is 5.
I think some kids just like our company...will do it until he doesn't want it.

From birth with my eldest, age 2 with my second. She needed to hold my hand to fall asleep and once she started taking more than 5 minutes to fall asleep I didn't have the patience! I just went cold turkey when she was 2 and she grumbled for a couple of nights and that was it!

So I would say you're an angel for doing it so long and you're definitely not cruel! I do think it's harder to break a habit the older they are so I hope it goes well.

We have put ours to bed whilst he is awake since he was born. Only because we didn’t know about another way!

Guys just be careful with your words lol. Calling someone nuts or outrageous for doing this is a bit harsh! I’m not complaining in any way, only asking for other’s opinions etc. It hasn’t had any negative effect on me or my child and I haven’t had her get up or come downstairs etc so I’m not sure why anyone feels strongly enough to make out I’m crackers. Thanks for all the responses, I feel a lot better about it all and am enjoying some adult time.

I still do it with mine, 3, 5 & 7 🫤 it is a pita.

Hmmm still waiting in the room for them to fall asleep here. Ages 7 and 10! As, long as they keep asking us to do it, we'll keep doing it.

DD is 5 and we sit upstairs until she’s asleep, I lay on our bed, DH usually sits at the top of the stairs. Generally only takes 10-15 mins and I quite like it, it’s just a few minutes of quiet time that we get to ourselves while the other makes a start on dinner.

Exactly this!

I don't know why people get so maddened on here 🤣 every kid is different and has different needs. Some kids just need extra support at bed time - it's not a big deal.

Gosh about 9 months for all of mine, and I was totally over long drawn out bedtimes by then 😂

Day 0 really. Bath and feed, then in their bed. Going back if they need it.

Since they were about 6 months. Lying with them is just not something I've ever done. Story, kiss and cuddle, close their door.

Birth 😬👀

I think a lot of this will be down to temperament! We coslept from birth in a floor bed, now 4 year old will happily go to sleep with yoto player but oftentimes I will lay with him as he needs the closeness. My youngest is happier to do his own thing, just different personalities.
We did start to explain that mummy and daddy were going to eat dinner & we’d check in etc. maybe worth a try? :)

Also - some days it’s annoying and I just want to relax but I snuggle into bed with her and honestly most days it’s my favourite time of the day. We have a little chat, read and book and I tell her an imaginary story as she drifts off holding my hand. There’s times where it’s been a long day and I’d rather just be downstairs, but actually, on the whole it’s so lovely and I’ll really miss it when she doesn’t need that anymore. Esp now I’ve got DD2, those 15-20 minutes are just entirely for us.