4yo being silly - CPS called on us by school

[Junkemail]

Our life feels like it's been turned upside over a silly comment my reception aged child said to their teacher that her and my DH have been eating crayons out each others bottoms.

We've ended up with social services knocking on our doors and my DH is being investigated. It is absolute nonsense, she's 4 and says stupid things like this all the time about a variety of people. My DH is being investigated as sexually abusing her now. That's one issue and I'm hoping he's found innocent in their eyes as he's been kicked out the house by then.

But how do I handle comments like this moving forward so it doesn't happen again. She tells lies and imaginary stories that I know aren't true and this time it's ended up with us being in real trouble.

It's because they don't know if it's childish nonsense of a child's way of telling something that has actually happened. They must investigate.

@Nannyoggapple

Well it's certainly perfectly normal in Scotland

it might be weird to you but not for millions of others. Parents do all sorts of silly things like this, kids generally love it. I’m a snapper fish that snaps bottoms if they don’t get upstairs quick enough & my DD absolutely howls with laughter, sometimes I’m too tired to do this & she reminds me that I won’t catch her while laughing & running away. Blowing raspberries/tickling is a big one too. All of these said through the lens of a child ‘could’ be abuse. ‘Daddy was kissing me all over’ or touching me all over.

It just made me think of a video I watched yesterday.

It was called "children ask liam gallagher questions".

One of the first things they asked liam was

"What's your favourite fart?"

@Mummyoflittledragon

I know your personal situation may not have allowed for this, but it's not uncommon to chase little ones up the stairs 'threatening' them to bite their bum (as it's the bit that sticks out!!) if you catch up to them.

the games you play to get them upstairs & in the bath 🙄🙄😂😂

@Junkemail

I'm sorry you & DH have been through this. Don't let it affect your relationship with him or his with DD.

It's unfortunate innocent people have to go through this, but if it helps children who are being abused then I think it's 'worth it'.

I wouldn't, at all, tell DD off or make her feel bad/in trouble for telling. They really don't understand at 4 and it could mean she doesn't tell you if someone dies do something inappropriate.

Hope you all have a nice weekend together.

& to say I'm well impressed at how quickly this has been sorted out.

Why shouldn’t a parent kiss their child on the lips? I do it all the time. Maybe I should hand myself in to the SS & police.

But why go for her bottom? I do think thats odd. Bottoms are sensitive areaad.

Why not pretend to snap her ponytail or something?

I just think it's ridiculous and it's also putting you at a big risk.

You know if a child says anything concerning at all at school, that social services have to investigate.

As has happened to the OP. Bottoms were mentioned. Social services investigated.

So Good advice to any parent - would be to leave bums alone!

Because a kiss on the lips was traditionally a display of romantic affection.

And secondly because a kiss on the lips is very close and invasive.

And there is a power imbalance when it is an adult and a child.

I would have got sick if my granny came over and kissed me on the lips, when I was a child.

I think schools should take comments like this seriously, it is a very odd thing to say, and I’m shocked anyone thinks kids say things like that a lot. Or someone compared it to poo sandwiches, what’s wrong with people

but I’m sorry op. Pretending to eat her bum is beyond odd.

Daddy kiss my bum or look at my bumhole.

And what does Daddy say when asked to do this?

@Nannyoggapple

So Good advice to any parent - would be to leave bums alone!

This is so out of touch with normal life for most people. Are you never naked around your children either? After showering this morning with my 3 year old, he was dried and dressed and then as I was drying myself he appeared behind me and ran head first (on purpose) into my bottom which is obviously at perfect head height. He triumphantly announced "I stuck my face in your big bottom!"

🤷🏻‍♀️

So god help me if he announces at nursery "mummy put her bottom on my face" or some such nonsense. We'll all be screwed.

I agree. Although I am absolutely not saying the OP's husband has done anything.

So would I if my granny tried to kiss me! - but not my mum! If my DD didn’t want me to kiss her on the lips then why f course I wouldn’t but we’re not 2 horny 16 year olds, I’m her mum & she’s an innocent child.

@Nextweektoo

whether the OP has or hasn't 'started the pants rule' (which isn't compulsory or actually any kind of rule) is irrelevant as Daddy should be someone she who helps her on the toilet, in the bath, in changing rooms and seek telp from if it hurts etc

@Nannyoggapple

I would have got sick if my granny came over and kissed me on the lips, when I was a child

You're the one jumping from parents kissing their children on the lips to grannies 🙄 it's sad that you call it invasive. Look, it's not the norm where you are- fine. But it's perfectly normal elsewhere whether or not you want to have mad notions about how wrong and dirty it is.

the idea of something this huge happening

and thinking “oh i know, ill start a mumsnet thread and update them”

What you would do and what is perfectly normal parenting are two different things. We used to pretend to be a crocodile and do snappy hands or day ‘I bet I’m going to be the first upstairs’ or silly games like that. All within the same range and none worthy of social services investigation.

You seem to have conveniently forgotten that other posters on this thread have also sold that it's odd.

Not just me!

No it isn't weird! It's just silly and fun. FFS.

Because’Snapper will pull your ponytail’ does not have as much clout & fun for her as ‘snapper is going to snap that botty’ - luckily, she’s always got upstairs before snapper got chance!

They’d have a field day with me as she loved raspberries as well!

There's a difference between your child running into your bum on accident,

And the other poster who said she runs up the stairs, pretending to bite her child's bum as a game,

Isn't there ?

Fun for who?

I think a lot of adults often do what's fun for them, and overstep the child's boundaries.

Would you like someone running after you, nibbling your bum, now as an adult?

Not really no. If her DS said I had my face in mummies bum then by this thread, it would need to be reported.

But a lot of children do find silly things funny. They won’t when they’re adults. Thats not a good example🙄

WTH?? This is not an example of a 'silly thing' kids say. You did the right thing by reporting. But christ, there is something going on with that poor child for her to say something so sex specific.