4yo being silly - CPS called on us by school

[Junkemail]

Our life feels like it's been turned upside over a silly comment my reception aged child said to their teacher that her and my DH have been eating crayons out each others bottoms.

We've ended up with social services knocking on our doors and my DH is being investigated. It is absolute nonsense, she's 4 and says stupid things like this all the time about a variety of people. My DH is being investigated as sexually abusing her now. That's one issue and I'm hoping he's found innocent in their eyes as he's been kicked out the house by then.

But how do I handle comments like this moving forward so it doesn't happen again. She tells lies and imaginary stories that I know aren't true and this time it's ended up with us being in real trouble.

It's not natural though- unless an adult has indoctrinated lip kissing to a child.

Kissing a cheek or top of head is much less invasive.

My parents never once kissed me on the lips.

I don't think a lot of parents kiss their kids on the lips.

So you're in a minority if you do that

I think it is good they are investigating this and I would want someone to raise concerns if my DC ever said such a thing.

If it isn't serious then that would be the end of the investigation.

Sorry but lots of parents kiss their kids on the lips. It isn't strange at all.

And people need to learn boundaries and consent.

We should ask children if they like raspberries being blown on their tummy. I see people doing that a lot.

I do remember people doing that to me when I was a child.

I absolutely hated it! I really hated it. They would leave saliva on my tummy

Would any of us as adults, like someone coming over to us, lifting our top up, nd blowing raspberries on our tummies now?

Yes it is.

I remember a lot of people remarking how odd it was when a celebrity dad kissed his young daughter on the lips.

People thought it was awful

This indeed; I know afew people who've been investigated by SS for comments ( heard or reported); this is standard practice. This will
be over

@Nannyoggapple

My parents never once kissed me on the lips.

I don't think a lot of parents kiss their kids on the lips.

So you're in a minority if you do that

This is completely not true. I don't kiss my child on the lips either but you're simply wrong to say that people who do are in the minority. Growing up in a very working class family, it's certainly the norm among all the families I knew growing up, and still to this day. There's not a thing wrong with it.

It was David Beckham, and more people thought that it was absolutely bloody ridiculous as opposed to awful!

@Nannyoggapple

I remember a lot of people remarking how odd it was when a celebrity dad kissed his young daughter on the lips.

People thought it was awful

People are awful cunts then.

Glad I left the UK 5 years ago, feels like common sense has gone out of the window. I'm all for safe guarding, but kids come out with all sorts of made up stuff. I picked my 3 year old up from nursery yesterday and he told me he saw dragons and dinosaurs in school. Along with schools letting kids identify as wolves, the world has gone mad.

@Nannyoggapple so because you were never kissed on the lips and you 'don't think many other parents do' it must be a fact? Righto...

I feel really sorry for anyone who in any way thinks that kissing your own kids is unnatural or wrong. Wasn't there a big story a while back about David Beckham being attacked by the press for kissing his daughter on the lips? I remember the overwhelming theme of the comments was that it was completely normal and actually those who see it as anything other than a loving parent showing affection to their child are probably the ones with a problem.

I wouldn't agree with that as I think all families have different dynamics and if you don't want to show or be shown affection in that way it's also fine. However don't lament those who do. It's completely normal and I'm incredibly doubtful that if a child went to school and said 'my mummy/daddy kisses me on the lips' it would be flagged as some kind of safeguarding issue. If it did then we really do have problems.

Of course SS will ask the dad to leave, whilst investigations are ongoing. @FloatyBoaty & @DrummingMousWife, say they wouldn't, I completely disagree.

🙄

Shocker, kids are gross and have imaginations.

Agreed- I detested ''tickling'' too.

Really grim.

Are Police involved? SS don't really have powers to remove adults or children from the house. They would need a Court order to remove a child and Police bail conditions.
Have you started pants rule with your daughter?

No one who works with children wants to be the adult who missed the signs of abuse. If you have any concerns at all you report to the Designated Safeguarding Lead and they make the call how to handle it.
This is not the world gone mad, this is the world trying to protect children from the absolute fucking tidal wave of abuse that goes on around us.
When a child makes a disclosure to you it is a sickening feeling - proper heart in mouth time. No one wants to get this wrong and if investigations happen and things turn out to be harmless then that’s far better than failing to spot and act upon something utterly fucking horrendous.

We all do this with her all the time, blowing raspberries on her belly, pretending we're going to nibble her bum if she's doesn't get upstairs quicker than we can if shes not listening when we say it's bath time (it works!)

The raspberries on her belly is ok but "nibble her bum" is really inappropriate and you should stop talking like that and you certainly shouldn't do it.

Eating crayons out of bums is a very strange thing for her to say and I am glad this comment has been taken seriously. It's way beyond the normal sort of silly comments 4 year olds make.

The family avoid us now. I saw the mum in town the other day and she glared at me. The dad just looks embarrassed.

I would have liked social services to work out where the little girl got that idea from. Could she have heard it from an older child? Or seen porn somehow? It sounds as though SS weren’t able to find out, though. I think the girl did say to them that she was just being silly and it wasn’t true.

Hmm, the thing is, when small children are being abused, the abuser often has enough sense to use innocuous words for body parts etc, in case the child blurts something out. I remember a case in which a child recalled playing with a male relative’s “magic wand”….. I’m sure you can guess what was actually happening. So it’s unlikely that social services really believe she’s eating crayons out of his anus or the other way round, but she’s just reported one person’s mouth near another persons private parts and it would be really naive to say “they’re just being silly” It’s not uncommon for children to say “silly” things and it to turn out they’re being abused, in fact that in itself is a strategy abusers use to discredit their victims.

I agree with this.

In all likelihood it was probably just silly talk, but sometimes there is more to it than that and honestly, I think they’re doing their due diligence by checking up. If there is nothing to it then that’ll come out in the wash. I said something stupid when I was younger (completely untrue) and SS came round. Everything was ok, but I didn't say it again!

My daughter says silly things all the time and it has worried us about her repeating things in school. My son says daft things too about bums and farts etc. No idea where they have heard it from as its not something we mess around saying. They just find it funny. Daddy kiss my bum or look at my bumhole.

I know abuse happens and i know a lot of the time it gets ignored or the warning signs not treated seriously but it makes me really worried that 1 silly thing like this being said can result in a father being asked to leave his family home. If this happened to us over something our child said whilst being silly it would be devastating.

I know its such a fine line to follow but i can't help but think this is a massive overreaction.

This is of course on the assumption that this comment was a single statement and there was nothing else said or been said in the past.

They pick it up off other kids at school.

Young boys in particular seem to find fart jokes so funny

I wonder is it a regional thing then?

I grew up working class, and I genuinely have never once seen any parent kiss a child on their lips. Not at school, not in groups, not at swimming class

Its not done at all round here

Because kids love all things bottom related....for a while. Its silly.