4yo being silly - CPS called on us by school

[Junkemail]

Our life feels like it's been turned upside over a silly comment my reception aged child said to their teacher that her and my DH have been eating crayons out each others bottoms.

We've ended up with social services knocking on our doors and my DH is being investigated. It is absolute nonsense, she's 4 and says stupid things like this all the time about a variety of people. My DH is being investigated as sexually abusing her now. That's one issue and I'm hoping he's found innocent in their eyes as he's been kicked out the house by then.

But how do I handle comments like this moving forward so it doesn't happen again. She tells lies and imaginary stories that I know aren't true and this time it's ended up with us being in real trouble.

You’re wrong. In such cases the yes the adult parent can be asked to temporarily leave the home whilst case is investigated. Normal (and good practice)

On basis of op posts the majority leaping up and down,astonished ,aghast at apparent overreaction.All slating the SW for over reacting.

well that’s familiar rhetoric. I know that frothy speech

Damned if you intervene. Over reaction! Wrong! Stupid
Damned if you don’t intervene. Should have done something. Why doesn’t anyone care

social workers have a responsible and demanding role that’s misunderstood, pilloried and threads like this illustrate this, there is a duty to investigate. Rightly so.

No not child in need
s47 investigation to initiate investigation and safeguard the child, undertake assessments and convene a strategy meeting . 45 day to complete
such investigations are joint police and social service lead

The criminal prosecution service (CPS) are involved? There's no way on this little earth that anyone's advised your partner to move out because of a child's comment at school. This has escalated way beyond what you're prepared to acknowledge and you need to put your child first immediately.

I think you’ve mixed up the acronyms in this case op is using CPS to mean child protection service, not legal CPS (crown prosecution service)

Tbh I don’t think that’s correct. I have a 2 and a half year old. Always trying to kiss my lips when I ask for a kiss. I love a kiss but not a sloppy toddler germ ridden lip to lip kiss 🤮

And no; no one else has been kissing him on the lips. I don’t know whether it’s a cognitive issue of lips = kissing’ thus kissing = lips and he’s just not processing that theres a difference in giving and receiving kiss ettiqutte.

But is is a thing. We still haven’t cracked it.

CPS - children’s protective services

I think the thing I've come to expect on MN is that whatever you're doing, however you're parenting, living, dressing whatever...someone will always come along and tell you you're doing it wrong. There's a massive amount of posters here who thrive from feeling superior and putting others down.

However never in all my years on here have I seen anything as ridiculous as suggesting those who kiss their own kids are inappropriate, vile and vulgar. That's really messed up. I think it says a lot about those people - either they don't really believe it but are looking for a rise and row (tragic) or they really do believe it (even more tragic) in which case...fine, live your life that way but don't try and insinuate that those who have normal, affectionate relationships with their kids are somehow disgusting and predatory. That's sick. Get help.

Oh. Children's Services. Is the OP American, maybe? Because the CPS is the criminal prosecution service in the UK.

op is British I think

Op in UK, England

I don’t think the other poster is wrong to think adults kissing children on the lips is inappropriate. People aren’t “screwed up” or “obsessed by sex” to be feeling uncomfortable with that - when you can kiss the cheeks or forehead… why go for the lips?

Many of us kiss our children often. Along with our parents and wider family. But not on the lips - that's odd. Kissing in the lips is reserved for partners. I have never seen a family member or close friend kiss a child on the lips.

@RosesAndHellebores I think it's odd that you think it's odd.

I see family, friends, mum's at school kiss their children on the lips all the time. I'm genuinely surprised that people seem to think it's so uncommon. Must be one of those elusive, weird things that only exist on MN.

Can you read? She literally says in the post that she did report it.

Yeah I remember my DD deciding she was going to kiss me on the lips from 13 months onwards. 😱

I spend the next year gently discouraging her.

In my case due to having had frequent impetigo before I had her I didn't want her to touch certain regions of my face near my lip area.

The only thing that actually stopped her was her learning how to comfort other kids as she realised she couldn't kiss them.

While I agree that social services have grossly failed children that is no excuse for them to invade OPs private life like this. It is a gross interference with article 8 ECHR. They are not just "doing their job" they are - yet again - doing it incompetently which has led to a father being separated from his child which will be extremely distressing for the family and in particular the child. Think about it, if it were you how awful this would be.
personally I would not take this on the chin OP and would be making a complaint to the local authority.

I'm am UK. Sorry I thought that's what it was called. 😳 Social services or something else I don't know. I've lost track.

This is a truly shocking, heartbreaking documentary.

No. I don't think I have. Children's Services manage all aspects of child protection in the UK. Whereas the CPS are the criminal prosecution service. My mum was a children's social worker for around 25yrs. The a guardian as litem. I've never heard of children's services being called the CPS in the UK. Also, social workers can't tell a father to leave their home. The police can do that upon arrest and courts can order it. This post gives me the absolute chills.

Childrens services can ask a parent to leave the home….,they can ask them to sign a letter of expectation, without this going to family court

Asked to leave by whom? Not children's social workers, that's for sure. The police could make such a condition under bail after an arrest. Or a court could order it. A social worker with no involvement with a family can't and wouldn't just breeze in and demand it because a teacher said were concerned about a one-off 'silly' comment. This is a thread that reeks of all kinds of nasty, child abuse apology. There's nothing wrong with kissing children on the mouth, bathing with them, cuddling them. Until sick puppies try and sexualise it. The use of CPS by the OP immediately pins this as some sort of child abuse apologist post. It's as transparent as it is sick.

@Reugny

Aww that’s cute. He is getting better at empathy and comforting others.

We do need to crack it somehow. Am expecting a baby sibling next year and I don’t want them kissing lips either!!

Ignoring it doesn’t seem to work. Expressing displeasure neither as I think he then thinks it’s funny and a game.

Im sure he will grow out of it.

Really? What local authority do you work for? Social workers do not have legal powers. Courts do. Social workers have no more legal powers than anyone else. They act on court orders. They're not the police. If there's a court order, sure. But the OP said it was a one-off call about a disclosure that they went on to diminish. Which troubles me.

The eating bums thing reminds me of the piranhas don’t eat bananas books where they don’t eat fruit, they eat bums. So I don’t think OP and her DH were being irresponsible by pretending to nibble their DD’s bum. They just all got unlucky. It happens.

The really sad thing is that many children who are victims of abuse do not speak out because they have to hold special secrets etc.

OP, thinking of you xx