To hate the phrase "No Thank you"

[Wishingplenty]

I really hate the phrase "No Thank you" often said to a very young child, usually in a high pitched condescending tone, often when said child just wants to interact in a friendly manner with whoever is saying it's child.
Case in point, my 10 month old baby who has just started crawling, crawled up to a child about 3 and wanted to look at her boots. Mother of said child says loudly in a really high pitched condescending to tone oh "No Thank you" to my baby son.
Why say this to a baby? and why are you teaching your toddler to be totally unpleasant to a much younger child?
I have encountered this a few times to varying degrees with other children and just find it so utterly rude and nasty and most of all completely unnecessary!

At worst the other mother was being a bit miserly, especially since you were at a baby group BUT you don’t know what her or her child’s circumstances are. I would have moved my baby away and not really even given it a second thought. To call it child cruelty is an insult to those who have actually experienced child cruelty.

Nit 😝

@housethatbuiltme the scenario you outline is totally different to that of a curious 10m old baby exploring.

Perhaps it would be preferable if the baby could have walked over and said "hi, your boots are pretty, can I have a look?" but obviously that isn't possible for a 10m old.

If the mother of the child the baby was trying to interact with didn't feel the interaction would be welcome, she could have said so in a nicer way.

Shame for the baby to have their curiosity rebuffed, particularly in a group specifically designed to welcome babies.

What do you want someone to say to you when they are invading their space?

Babies learn to interact with other by going up to them and sometimes touching them. It's not nasty or dangerous. The mother of the 3-year-old sounds odd, to say the least.

Against a lot of other posters, I agree with the OP. I don't think it's rude, as such, but at a baby group if another child came over to me and my child, I'd have absolutely smiled and said hello. If needed, if one child was upset, or one was trying to take something, usually mums will step in then, but in a nice way e.g 'are you going back to mummy?'

Tone is relevant too though. "No thank you" may be a simply phrase but it can be said rudely, abruptly, condescendingly, sarcastically etc.

Quite. Also the thumbs up emoji is an interesting comparison, as that absolutely also has 2 meanings!

If you really think everybody that uses it is always meaning "great, I agree" @StaunchMomma you're quite naive.

It’s not always wanted. That’s absolutely fine.

@Beth216
Have to laugh though at the idea that mothers need to protect their 3 year olds boundaries from babies at a baby group". Why is that funny? A three year old is perfectly entitled not to want to be touched. By anyone.

OMG what else does thumbs up emoji mean please?? Please help an old and out of touch person who may have been inadvertently offending multiple people!

up yours, apparently, according to a small cohort of tiktok gen Z's.

its bollocks really, and everyone laughs at them.

Thank you Foxxo!

Or it could mean “ Please leave me alone “

Or

”I need some space please”

You haven't offended anyone without meaning to! It's basically just being sarcastic, so you'd give the thumbs up meaning "yeah, whatever, you crack on". Often used to wind someone up when you haven't got a more intelligent retort (or don't really have a point in the first place!).

This. I don't want a sticky toddler/crawler touching me or my things

My son is moody and well in the midst of terrible twos and isn't for having anyone in his personal space. He can play along side other children at playcentre but doesn't like them touching him or being directly on him. He would more thank likely kick off if a baby came up to him and started touching his shoes so maybe she is stopping a situation like that OP.

You have zero idea how much a toddler understand or even that it is a toddler.

My DS at 1 year met a 5 year old girl the same size as him, you cannot judge age based on size. He is slightly tall and she was very short.

You do not know what a child is capable of understanding, he could be anywhere in development or have delays.

I also have to laugh at all the 'I teach my 3 year old to say...' my 3 year old can't speak yet, not uncommon either (several kids in nursery and reception are in SALT). In fact non of my kids could have eloquently verbalise the rambling shit people are expecting of toddlers on this... by why would the toddler say that since the same people think a 10 month old is incapable of understanding any of that fluff (but they do in fact tend to have a basic understanding of the word 'no' its usually one of the first commands learned).

Ok, gonna go with Aberdeen, Shetland or possibly some part of the Irish Republic.
Fit I heard, Nit I haven't. Well maybe a different kind.
Obviously no offence of any sort meant,
I'm not born British and now I'm curious!
😳😅

Said it to who, the 10 month old that likely has no grasp of any of the words except the word 'no'... 'no' is literally the most basic early learned word. Even the 'thank you' was likely unnecessary and only for other adults.

The baby is not offended, upset or scared to go back to group because of the 'language' used... explaining it in more detail means fuck all to a baby.

Aye Aiberdeen - weel done min 😝

Wow! 👍
Only because I read some Stuart McBride stuff.

If someone doesn't want their toddlers around other toddlers or babies, here's an idea... Don't take them to baby groups??

I'm really thrown by the replies on here. "Protecting her boundaries" like the 10 month old baby is anything akin to older kids bashing into them or adults demanding hugs.

Op you're maybe being a bit sensitive, but yes I think the other mums response was a bit off.

Maybe the toddler was already busy playing? They very likely weren’t interested in a baby messing with their shoes.

There’s a difference between touching, annoying etc and simply just being around.

Yes OP, whatever the reason, the phrase ' no thank you' in the tone I can imagine in this case, is nauseating and I'm no fan.

Some people aren't comfortable with others, be it babies or kids or adults, encroaching in their space. I guess this was the only way they felt they could communicate it without saying 'get fu**ed out my space '. 🤷‍♀️