When did you start disciplining your kid?

[WhenSunnyGetsBlue]

My baby is nearly 7 months. I've just started taking her to baby groups and it has so far been very positive. She's a very happy and enthusiastic baby. She screams with joy at the smallest thing. Just this week though I've noticed her starting to test some boundaries. I put her in her pushchair to go home and she started fussing because she obviously wanted to carry on playing. She intentionally threw her toy out the pram for the first time. I've also notice her snatching the spoon out my hand (as I'm preloading it for her) and she can play a bit rough. She is a baby but these behaviours cross my boundaries. Above all I worry that she will be too rough with other babies in classes so I want to teach her to be gentle. Am I expecting too much? Or is now the right time to start using the word 'no'. Obviously I'm not talking about punishment, but is 6/7 months a good age to start setting boundaries eg. If you throw the toy out the pram it goes under the pushchair until we get home.

@Bubblesallaround that's fair.
What I was trying to say was that hitting, scratching, throwing etc are what I consider unacceptable behaviours for a child. My baby is nearly 7 months so it can be expected she will do these things. I know she doesn't understand they are wrong. I haven't ever punished her or told her off,that wouldn't even cross my mind. I was wondering when is the right time to start correcting these behaviours. I thought that would have been obvious, however, rereading my original post I can see why that may have been misunderstood. I can also see my expectations are probably too high even for a toddler let alone a baby. I still think some of the hurtful comments were uncalled for. like any parent all I am doing is trying to do the right thing. I am not preaching but trying to learn. I don't have a support system so hearing things like you are a 'terrible parent', 'I worry for your child', 'you sound scary' is actually hurtful

I don't actually put a lot of detail. It's no ones business what I do. All I will say is my son is the most content happy little man and is loved. I don't judge other parents.

I don't actually put a lot of detail. It's no ones business what I do. All I will say is my son is the most content happy little man and is loved. I don't judge other parents.

hitting, scratching, throwing etc are what I consider unacceptable behaviours for a child

Your job as a parent is to socialise your child so that she isn't an unlikeable little shit to other children or adults.

However, some amount of unlikeable behaviours are normal along the way. All children do nasty things because they're just learning how to navigate the world. Your use of words like "unacceptable" and "breaking my boundaries" is unusual and has clearly ruffled feathers on this thread. I think it shows you need to read up a bit on child development and to socialise with other parents to get a realistic view of what children are like and how to deal with them.

If you continue with the mindset of "unacceptable" behaviours then you're going to be disappointed in your child when she becomes a toddler and young child and does all manner of horrid things. Toddlers have an amazing ability to push you to the point of insanity. You're in for a world of trouble if you view their behaviours through adult expectations.

@WhenSunnyGetsBlue at 2-3.5, my DC and their friends are still learning about boundaries like when play is ok and when it's too boisterous. That learning is likely to continue for years yet. They're all great kids with caring, involved parents. Children need to explore and find out through play what they like, what their friends like, how different people have different limits for play, etc. Sometimes they'll get it wrong. When they do, we help them to recognise that and model appropriate behaviour like stopping the activity and saying sorry before adapting the play. Just show your DD, through your own actions, the behaviours you want to encourage. As she starts socialising more with babies and toddlers through groups and nursery and playdates, you'll also get loads of opportunities to get advice and support from other mums, as well as being able to see how her behaviours are in comparison with other children her age.

@banthebiglight I stand by what I say. I think those kinds of behaviours are unacceptable. Of course, children are learning what is acceptable and what is not so it can be expected they will cross the boundaries and that's ok. If those behaviours continue until they are 3 years old, that's still ok. Just because it is typical, normal, expected that babies and toddlers hit, bite, scratch etc. however doesn't make the behaviour itself acceptable or desirable and I believe it should be addressed in an age appropriate way from early on. I don't think it's controversial to say it is a parent's job to help a child to learn the difference between right and wrong.

@Scirocco thank you. That is all good advice. I think back to when I was 9 or 10 years old and I can remember still learning some of those lessons myself! I think my expectations will naturally adjust as I spend more time with parents and other babies. I do think generally speaking children get away with a lot more these days and I am always so shocked at some of the behaviour I see from school age children. I do think there is a difference between natural learning and exploration and bad behaviour that needs to be addressed. Of course that comes further down the line but for me getting that right is one of the most important responsibilities of being a parent.

Of course it's not. There's a reason I have a polite and well behaved child: because I am consistent with consequences for behaviours.

It's your framework for a 6 month old that is off and the way you apply "unacceptable" and "boundaries" and so on to an infant.

Do Distract. Do Be kind. Do Be gentle. Do Be calm.
That is all you need to remember.
show her how to be.

Assume she will do things that annoy or irritate as she grows and explores. It s not done on purpose to test you.

Don't think in army terms of "discipline" "punishment "

I don't actually put a lot of detail. It's no ones business what I do. All I will say is my son is the most content happy little man and is loved. I don't judge other parents.

You have put a lot of detail previously @teatoast8. You have judged mother's who don't breastfeed for a start, haven't you, Emma.