When did you start disciplining your kid?

[WhenSunnyGetsBlue]

My baby is nearly 7 months. I've just started taking her to baby groups and it has so far been very positive. She's a very happy and enthusiastic baby. She screams with joy at the smallest thing. Just this week though I've noticed her starting to test some boundaries. I put her in her pushchair to go home and she started fussing because she obviously wanted to carry on playing. She intentionally threw her toy out the pram for the first time. I've also notice her snatching the spoon out my hand (as I'm preloading it for her) and she can play a bit rough. She is a baby but these behaviours cross my boundaries. Above all I worry that she will be too rough with other babies in classes so I want to teach her to be gentle. Am I expecting too much? Or is now the right time to start using the word 'no'. Obviously I'm not talking about punishment, but is 6/7 months a good age to start setting boundaries eg. If you throw the toy out the pram it goes under the pushchair until we get home.

For me hitting is never ok.

Never? Do you really think that?

My daughter is a teenager now and getting self defence classes at air cadets. That could well involve hitting.

(She wasn’t a hitt-y child but it’s important girls in particular can keep themselves safe. Hence never saying never. Life is all shades of grey.)

My grandchildren very quickly learnt they weren't allowed to remove my glasses when I was holding them by the time they were 7/8 months old. I didn't want my £200 glasses broke. They were told no when they tried to take them off my nose. I wasn't cross with them, I made it into a game and laughed but they still weren't allowed to take them.

They also very quickly learnt that Grandad didn't mind his glasses being taken (his cost considerably less)

Is this discipline or should I have just let them have my glasses because they were so young? 🤷

She is a baby but these behaviours cross my boundaries.

Yikes... if this is how you feel and baby is what 7 months, then i really feel for you for when they hit the 2's, then school and beyond!

i disagree with alot of people, and i think discipline can begin from birth.. setting boundaries is discipline.. so if you don't want baby to hold their spoon (which is actually very normal and how do they learn to use a spoon if you don't let them use it?). but a gentle no thank you mummy will do it.. we all know babies grab hair at about the 4 month stage.. a simple no thank you as you remove their sticky hands from your freshly washed locks..

discipline is not all about NO! and the sooner you learn to use gentle communication the better really!

but good luck to you, because if you are already tested at this age.. you are in for a rollercoaster of a ride!

It's just teaching them. The OP seems to want to punish, not teach.

@BlackOrangeFrog Uh no. I explicitly said that it's not about punishment. Did you read my posts? I am not going to let my child put my necklace in her mouth because she could choke. I'd never tell off a baby. But I would make it clear "no, mummy's necklace isn't a toy" AND then find her one of her toys to play with instead. I'm not going to just take off my necklace because it's annoying, how will she learn? Its all about teaching. The purpose of my post was to find age appropriate ways to instill discipline because that's what discipline is - teaching. If I'd I've wanted to use punishment, that's the word I would have used.

@ItTook9Years I'm ex-military and have a black belt in karate, but that is hardly relevant?!

@thursdaymurderclub my baby always holds her spoon?? Don't know where you got that idea from. I help her load it. Usually she takes the spoon off my lovely, sometimes she snatches just because she is excited. Two different things. I agree discipline is not all about NO - have you read my posts?

You sound scary, Op. Seriously. You're talking about a baby!

Please take the comments on here as a check as talking the way you are isn't good parenting at all.

Not at all. Id never think of punishing my baby at this age. That's absurd and not what this thread is about. Its about helping her understand what kind of behaviour gets positive attention and the kind of behaviour that doesn't get rewarded. She takes the spoon so lovely and feeds herself. But sometimes she a little too enthusiastic.

She has accidentally cut my face whilst playing. That isn't ok. Not her fault at all and of course I didn't tell her off, but I want to help her understand that it's not ok. I'm not expecting her to never hit or scratch or do all the normal toddler things but I'm trying to find age appropriate ways over the next few months, as she starts to interact with other babies to reduce these incidents. She's bigger than other babies her age and I don't want her to hurt them. How that is terrible parenting, I don't know.

I feel like a lot of people have misinterpreted this thread, but thank you to those who provided helpful responses.

Remember, discipline means teaching. Jesus’ disciples for example (I am atheist but it’s a good example). Teach. Redirect. Lead by example. You don’t want your kid to be rough, you want them to speak nicely and be kind.

7 months isn’t too young to do that. 7 months is far to young to understand a lot of what I think you have in mind. A stern ‘No’ is just meaningless, and then funny, before it has any affect.

She has accidentally cut my face whilst playing. That isn't ok.

🙄

Your baby is not even 7 months old.

You are correct.

I think you are way overthinking things. She is so, so young and just exploring. All these things you’ve said I wouldn’t have given much thought to other than that’s what babies do! She doesn’t need disciplining or even teaching at this age. Eg If she’s pulling your hair of course you’d move your hair out the way or as I did just have it tied back for the first year. 😆 She is doing nothing different to what all babies do!

I'm really not. What do you think I do? I already do the things people are advising! I don't think I've ever had to use a firm no to my baby yet! I'm talking about teaching my kid to use gentle hands on a teddy to reduce the likelihood of her accidentally hurting other babies, as an example. I think it's good to model good behaviour early and separate right from wrong even if they don't understand everything. I don't understand why you'd find that scary. My daughter has a smile on her face pretty much at every waking moment, so I don't think I'm damaging her too much!

She has accidentally cut my face whilst playing. That isn't ok.

I think what people are reacting negatively to is the phrasing you're using like "that isn't ok". It suggests bad behaviour on your baby's part. But she's still so tiny. It's not behaviour that isn't ok.

Obviously you don't want to be scratched. So you make sure her nails are trimmed, and gently stop her arms. But it's not "not ok". It's just a neutral thing that happened with a baby.

Oh for Gods sake OP don't be ridiculous. She's far too young.

Mine js 13 months and I've recently started saying no, so that she understands what it means, but it's still pretty much pointless and better to distract and entertain.

Please learn a bit about basic child psychology before pontificating on setting boundaries with a teeny baby.

It's disturbing that you use words like 'snatching' or saying you'll try to punish a baby by taking toys from them etc. It's just so bloody weird.

And saying her behaviour (BEING A BABY) is unacceptable?

I hope you're a troll. If you're not, you sound like a bloody awful mother and I'm concerned for your little own.

*little one

I get that but at this age if you give her a firm no every time she pulls your hair you will probably do exactly what your trying not to do. She will like the big reaction and will turn it into a game. The word no means nothing to her at this point it’s just another sound. By all means say noooo and just gently remove her hand and quickly distract. Giving no attention will probably stop the behaviour a lot quicker. And yes she probably will pull another babies hair at soft play, babies are curious they don’t understand hurting others and can’t possibly understand strength and gentle hands until a good bit older. You just need to be right beside her and redirect her quickly

Proper discipline? - age 7

Any younger is more like maintaining boundaries. For example, not picking up the spoon and saying no. But that's more for a cheeky 2yo. Age 7 months I wouldn't really be even thinking about discipline. Let the child learn that the spoon can fall!

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace I think you're right. I don't think a baby can have bad behaviour! Its the situation that's not ok. The way I see it, when my daughter tries to put my necklace in her mouth the easy solution is to not wear a necklace. But that takes away an opportunity to learn. I wouldn't punish her when she does put my necklace in my mouth. I EXPECT her to do it. By discipline I just mean explaining that she can't do that and redirecting by giving her a toy that she can play with - I probably wouldn't even use a firm no in that situation. My original question was simply to ask at what age is reasonable to start setting boundaries as a way to instill discipline? The answers could have been 8 months, 1 year, not til they are 2 etc. instead people have got mad because they think I want to punish my 6 month old for bad behaviour 🤷

I do the naughty step or corner at 2

@Anonymous2224 thank you. That is helpful 😊

Naughty step?? At 2??

Jesus Christ.

@teatoast8 no one should be doing the naughty step in this day and age, let alone forcing a two year old to experience shaming and abandonment as a form of punishment.

Well, the language you used made it sound that way...