How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

😂

Nailed it. YABVU @1stpregnancywoes

It's honestly both eyeopening and horrifying how many people are mocking and trivialising this. It really shows how naive we still are about social media and how laws and policies need to be tightened to protect people from their own stupidity

Yes. I think op posted at wine 🍷 o’clock on a Friday so she got some replies that reflect that.

Yup!

Either that or they have their own sick agenda for wanting to keep photos of children online...its hard to imagine any of the parents I know behaving like the bullies on this thread.

Most posters on this thread feel they should be entitled to bolster their own self-importance by posting photos of someone else's child on social media, oblivious or uncaring of the very real dangers, and despite the explicit refusal of the child's parents. An astonishing and horrifying indictment of society.

I’m completely in agreement that photos of babies and children shouldn’t be on platforms like Facebook and it concerns me that so many parents think it’s okay to share so many photos and information about their lives, often on accounts without privacy settings.

@PictureOfTheSea@Youcantcallacatspider sadly I think it's more likely once of those situations where passive ignorance is more damaging than active intentional malice.

All the people saying images aren't abuse because nothing physically happened to the kids. I despair.

That's sad. So no school photos up in their house ever? If you was my child I would feel very guarded around you and my grandchild if you said this. Our relationship would be very sanitised out of fear of your reactions.

My mil shares pic of my kids without my permission. I just post less. Nothing at all personal ( like swimming or on beach) but if your kids grow up like mine they will share shocking stuff on line and never tell you.

I hope your posting on ten years saying your parent and inlaws favour your siblings kids and can't work out why that might be

Absolutely fucking bonkers.

You hope that?? Actually hope it?

Dfg!

Are babies bothered about consent?

I love it when my relatives tell me I was an adorable baby. I wish there were more pics of me.

Sometimes a relative will send a picture of someone as a baby and we all love it.

You risk pushing everyone away from
your baby.

Most of his peers are on Snapchat and that has been a running skirmish for a few years, however I've made my case for it being bloody awful and toxic and so far he's respected that (we also have a good friend who is a judge and says the amount of cases where Snapchat is involved in assaults involving teens is riduculous).

He's allowed Instagram but has never posted a picture so hopefully the groundwork and discussions we've had for most of his life about SM have given him the confidence to not post anything if he doesn't want to?

I know there have been issues at school with teenagers trawling parents FB profiles for "cringe" pics of kids when they were younger and then spreading them to encourage bullying. So we've avoided that!

He has whatsapp too, but his profile pics have always been generic pictures.

He's never faced any backlash from peers for not being on SM, he's got good friends. There has been a bit of "why aren't you on Snap" but nobody has left him out because of it.

I think you have 😂😂👌🏻

Thanks, it was more the affects that his peers who have had things shared on social media I was referring to. People trawling FB to find baby photos as you say. That's been my experience with DNphews friends too. Some people will go to any lengths to find something to shame people. It's really quite barbaric. Makes me so glad I grew up without this stuff!!

Well done holding the boundary. He sounds well rounded from your posts!

Your baby can’t consent to you changing its nappy - will you just not do that i’m guessing?

Ah yes I see now!

I don't really know if there's been anything more than the bullying. I do think the amount of people who don't realise how easily images can be manipulated in horrifying ways is too low, and once it's out there...it's out there forever.

I don't think that cones from a place of stupidity, more just it's hard to comprehend how truly awful other people can be.

And from a more simple point of view, a friends child who is very young, can't see a camera phone being pointed at them without striking several different poses they have been taught because its for insta. It's a bit sad really, no photos of them just candid and enjoying themselves, just 'heart hands' and their best angle. I do wonder what they'll feel about that when they grow up.

Not sending them photos of your kid in the bath = good

Not sending them photo of your kid in their pram at the park smiling with an ice cream = bit mad

Privacy and confidentiality is one thing but just a standard head shot photo shared with family is nothing anything to be hidden or protected. It sounds a bit red flag of you to be so over the top... let hope you and your kid never go missing and the police need a recent photo from family.

She's not posting that on FB though is she?

Obviously it depends on what country you are in but in England the grandparents and absolutely anyone else is well within their rights to take photos of your child in the street/at the park/any public place and post them online if they choose. I'm not saying I agree with that law but it is the case - you just need to look in the newspaper to see photos of celebrities children which are taken and posted without their consent or their parents.

You can ask family not to share photos but you can also understand why grandparents etc may want to show their friends photos of their grandchild.

Are you 14???

There is a massive difference in changing your childs nappy and posting pictures of them online for the whole world too see

The point is you don’t need their consent for either.

Christ

This is what we're up against 🙄