How can I tell family(parents) we don't want to share pictures of our baby with them.

[1stpregnancywoes]

I know this may seem strange and some may disagree but it is our baby and we are very keen to make sure her privacy is paramount and she can't consent. Initially we shared images of our baby with family via WhatsApp. We told them no sharing online. One family member did not listen to this and shared the photo.
We now no longer even want to share images with family at all as people just can't be trusted.
My husband's parents have again asked to see pictures of her ( mind you they haven't even asked how she is in around 6 months (she is 6 months and 1 week old)

How can we word this? How can we tell people
We don't want to share any images of her online at all. And that when they come to our home that we do not consent to them taking pictures of her as we know they will show/share them.

Thank you in advance

I can’t believe what I’ve just read. Wow.

@Ucchildcare @rainydays03 You also don't need their consent to tattoo them...doesn't mean you would, for a multitude of reasons but a primary one being common sense. Something severely lacking on this thread.

Nappy change - necessary
Feeding the baby - necessary
Bathing the baby - necessary
Posting pictures on social media - not necessary!!

Appreciate that's an extremely ridiculous example but that does rather seem to be the tone this thread has gone down...

Not now, but there is a burgeoning area of law for children of "influencers" whose images have been used for monetary gain by their parents before they were old enough to consent to content being posted - most SM sites use 13 as the age of consent for posting your own content but for parents it's quite murky at the moment.

There are also the anecdotal but nauseating cases of "influencer families" where the children were in fact treated horrifically behind the scenes but photographed as content almost daily. Another rapidly expanding area of case law.

Can you share photos the old fashioned way? - print them out and send hard copies rather than posting on social media.

Try and keep within the bounds of common sense.

If you tried to tattoo your baby social services would remove her.

Could you send them directly to people you trust who ask and explain your not putting them on the group due to people sharing them on social media against your wishes.

@Sittingontheline You misunderstand me. I am absolutely in agreement that if the OP does not want her child on SM, that is her right and her family should respect that. However, instead of behaving like an adult and speaking to the family member who broke the rule, she is punishing the entire family and then uses "consent" as the reason. I maintain it is absolutely not a hill I'd want to die on if I wanted to maintain a good relationship with my family. It's also hugely controlling.

My thoughts exactly

Yeo you’re up against facts and can’t deal with them.

Get over yourself. First baby I assume? Utter madness.

Why not just not send photos to the person who shared them and explain why.

Reiterate that any photos aren’t to be shared online but they can of course have them up in their home and show them to friends etc.

The grandparents will take their own photos and it’s unfair to not let them have any photos but you have every right to not want them shared online and they need to respect this.

@Ucchildcare I think this might be one of those situations where certain people are just going to sit happily in their ignorance...it's becoming like arguing with flat earthers and deniers of atrocities: just not worth the bandwidth. Maybe nothing untoward will happen either way, and that would be the best possible outcome. Or maybe those who were cautious will be glad that they were. Either way I'm perfectly comfortable with my life choices!

facial recognition software is getting better and better by the day and it in fact would not be that hard to find out at all if I’m honest. These views are sickening, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

There's a lot of mention about the family members sharing the photos on social media. We don't know they did that. The OP just said that they shared them online. That could mean just sending it to a sibling, their own parent or something, not putting it on fb.

The OP is completely over the top and irrational IMO.

Too tight .

Just show your family this video..

Your child is not royalty.

Fair enough when they're older and recognisable. But what exactly is wrong with a picture of yet another baby's face on the internet?!

I get it, tbh it's a tough call to keep your kids off social media. Paedophiles use pics of kids off social media. AI can take a pic and make a porn movie with it. It's really horrible.

You know who shared the pic so tell everyone they shared the pics and that means you've been cautious about sharing pics. Say you're happy for them to see baby, but you don't want pics on social media.

That's it end of.

Even Royalty show people photos of their children - publicly - often from a few days old.

.

My thoughts exactly. Absolutely ridiculous. I don't put pictures of my kid on social media either, but what is one baby photo on your relative's page going to do? Get a grip.

Get pics printed the old fashioned way. Problem solved

a friend of mine who had a baby last year sent whatsapp photos but they disappeared after being viewed

Here you go: https://www.wired.com/story/ai-tools-are-secretly-training-on-real-childrens-faces/

For those who don't want to read the whole thing, check out the second paragraph:

LAION-5B is based on Common Crawl—a repository of data that was created by scraping the web and made available to researchers—and has been used to train several AI models, including Stability AI’s Stable Diffusion image generation tool. Created by the German nonprofit organization LAION, the dataset is openly accessible and now includes links to more than 5.85 billion pairs of images and captions, according to its website. LAION says that it has taken down the links to the images flagged by Human Rights Watch.

The images of children that researchers found came from mommy blogs and other personal, maternity, or parenting blogs, as well as stills from YouTube videos with small view counts, seemingly uploaded to be shared with family and friends.

@HeySummerWhereAreYou Well of course Royalty do. Royal children are automatically part of the fabric of the country's history.

I doubt Catherine Middleton would have got as far as being Royal if she'd been brought up in an era where every moment of her childhood from first smile to first pee in the potty had been documented online for anyone of the worlds media to rake over though.

OP I'm glad you've had some helpful advice. We don't share our DS on social media either, for a number of reasons both broad and specific to our family. Family and friends have been asked not to share pictures we send them and if they went ahead and did it anyway they wouldn't receive any more.