Nasty comment from friend about my 2yo starting nursery

[Stephanieava]

So my 2yo (2y1m) went for their first taster session at nursery this morning. Was only there for 1 hour

He got there and walked in with such confidence, was happy to go straight up to a table full of other children playing and get stuck in. Also spoke to the nursery teachers straight away. I was SO so proud of him (although i was in bits!)

He’s a very confident little boy, has been at home with me for the past 2 years. I’ve always socialised him very well, we’re around other adults and go to at least one baby / play group every day of the week so he has seen and been used to been around other children

I was speaking to my friend about it and she said ‘oh my god i can’t believe he wasn’t sad leaving you! My little girl wouldn’t let me walk out the door, she loves me too much, our bond is just so strong’

She basically insinuated that her bond with her daughter is stronger than that of me and my son. I was blown away and just made an excuse to leave.

I’ve overthought it since then (im pregnant & very emotional!) and the more ive spoken to others, it seems like their children were upset leaving them too. Now i’m sat here wallowing thinking i’ve done something wrong, how silly! Not that i would want him to be upset, but you know what i mean

My son clung on to me like a limpet on his first day of nursery. I don’t think it’s because I was a superior parent 😬

I’ve worked in early years and am qualified to do so. Being happy to leave you generally shows a strong attachment as they trust that you will come back. (This doesn’t automatically mean that a child who struggles to settle doesn’t have a strong attachment).

What a mean thing for a friend to say!

Well done for bringing up a confident, happy boy. He's obviously got a secure attachment to you so he can cope without you. I always think that the thing about parenting is long-term, the plan is to do yourself out of the job - ie bring up children who can (eventually) cope without you.

My son has his first day at a new nursery tomorrow and if he reacts like your son, I'd be thrilled.

you're clearly a great Mum - ignore this so-called friend

Overthinking

Actually the more confident a child the better the attachment so she's actually factually wrong. Sounds like your raising him amazingly 😁

Forget her OP. Don't give her another minute of your time. You have raised a happy, confident child who is happy to be among other people, while hers is no doubt clingy and insecure if her mother even disappears for a second to go to the toilet. You will have the last laugh on the first day of Reception when your kid is happy and smiling and hers is clinging to her howling.

That’s a load of rubbish!

I have 2 boys, the eldest was like your DS,
walked straight in, wasn’t at all bothered. The youngest still crises on drop off 6 months down the line, i haven’t parented him any different to the eldest, i don’t feel like my bond 🙄 with them both is different in any way, they’re just 2 very different children.

Honestly OP it’s much easier dropping off a child that walks straight in rather than one that cries on drop off so just take it as a bonus!

Good on you for raising a confident child. He obviously feels loved. 4 of mine were confident, 1 not so much but all were loved the same. Was really hard dealing with the shyer 1 at times. Hopefully he won't become clingy when your new baby comes, it will make life so much easier.

Ignore what she said. You obviously care about your son. If it makes you feel any better, my 1st (daughter) was painfully shy and bawled her head off for over a year when I dropped her off at nursery and then primary school. My 2nd (son who was just like me as a child) ran in to nursery every day and loved it.