Splurge on nursery or save for later??

[Sundaysunshine21]

Baby will need to go to nursery full time 7am-7pm from 9 months. Would love for this to be different, but the mortgage won’t pay itself.

Viewed lots of nurseries, only really liked one. Unfortunately, the preferred nursery is very expensive. There is a difference of c.£500 per month between it and the second choice.

Could just about afford the preferred nursery, but it would be a stretch. Fees will increase annually.

Are early years so vital, and baby will spend so much time there, that it’s worth paying extra for the nursery? Should the money be saved in case baby needs tutoring/has additional needs/takes up an expensive hobbit etc. later on?

Really stuck, any thoughts welcome!

Very happy to never do it.

It’s important to weigh the quality of early years care against your budget. High-quality nurseries can positively impact a child’s development, but the second-choice nursery might still offer good care at a lower cost. Consider what makes the preferred nursery special and if those aspects are crucial for your baby.
Financially, stretching for the preferred nursery could strain your budget, potentially affecting future needs like tutoring or other activities. Balancing current expenses with future financial stability is key. Assess what’s most important for your baby and your family’s financial health. If the higher cost is manageable and you believe the benefits justify it, it might be worth it. Otherwise, a well-chosen, less expensive nursery could still provide excellent care. Trust your instincts and consider seeking advice from a financial advisor if needed.

We went for a cheaper local nursery when DD was 9 months and we ended up pulling her out within 2 weeks - they were shocking and its my biggest regret.
We were lucky enough to get a space at a nursery that was double the cost, however we soon as we walked in we were so pleased with how both the staff and the rooms were. So kind, so smiley, so helpful. They had high staff retention rates - almost 3 years on and they still have so many of the same staff from when DD was a baby.

IME now, I wouldnt hesitate to spend what I needed for the right care. I know I can drop DD every day and I dont worry about her ONCE. I know shes safe and well looked after.

For the hours you need, you need to spend as much as you can if it means its the right enviroment.

Not answering your original question OP (not entering into the debate of whether your DC should go to nursery at all) but just want to make a couple of points you should consider:

DC can be ill, a lot. We sent 3 DC to nursery (between 3 and 5 days a week at different periods) and there were blocks of 6+ months when average illness rate was around one day in 5. I.e. once a week on average, either DH or I had to take a day off to look after them. And I don't mean sniffles or coughs - they went in with those. I mean vomiting/diarrhoea/temp over 38.5. Or then we picked the bug up from them and lost a day or two of work. It's finally getting better now that youngest DC is almost 5. Hugely hugely stressful and neither of us have high pressure jobs and w van both WFH a lot. Illness still nearly broke us.

Point two, beware of people saying you can go back to the high flying long hours career when DC is at school. Other than the illness issue which improves, school is much much worse - wrap around likely won't do such long hours as nursery, may not operate on all days of the week, and you have 13 weeks of holidays to cover. And again, we are a two parent family with plenty of flexibile working capacity.

No real advice, just things to consider.

Good points for sure. I am bricking it when school starts and losing the flexibility of a private nursery hours, as well as covering school holidays.

It isn’t as hard but it does still mean that sometimes baby has to wait, especially if they are close in age and toddler is potty training or if toddler has hurt themselves.

Even when I had just DS before my twins were born, sometimes he had to wait because I was in the shower or I was finishing my last bite of lunch or I was having a wee.

Waiting for a bit isn’t going to hurt them.

OP is a single parent, she doesn’t have the luxury of someone else earning the majority of the money.

I have 3 under 2. It sure is…something. 😂

Clinically. Insane.

Any good after school clubs near you? Our nursery has one that covers nursery hours year round - wraparound in term time, full days in the holidays. They're very good, but pricey.

DC can be ill, a lot. We sent 3 DC to nursery (between 3 and 5 days a week at different periods) and there were blocks of 6+ months when average illness rate was around one day in 5. I.e. once a week on average, either DH or I had to take a day off to look after them. And I don't mean sniffles or coughs - they went in with those. I mean vomiting/diarrhoea/temp over 38.5. Or then we picked the bug up from them and lost a day or two of work. It's finally getting better now that youngest DC is almost 5. Hugely hugely stressful and neither of us have high pressure jobs and w van both WFH a lot. Illness still nearly broke us.

This was the point I was making re the illness. If you have a nanny (1) the baby won’t pick up (quite) as many illnesses and (2) even if they do, the nanny can still look after them.

If you do use nursery, you need to make sure you have set aside enough annual leave days to cater for this. My 3.5 year old is at nursery in the mornings and very prone to impetigo for some reason. She is normally completely well in herself but every time she gets the rash she is excluded for 48 hours. Fortunately we have the nanny on top and DH is quite flexible but we would be absolutely screwed if not.

Nurseries do sometimes do this sort of wraparound for younger primary children. It's difficult though when they get to 9 or 10 (DC1 now) and refuse to go to after school or holiday club. My DC are now 10, 7 and 4 - I have never wanted to take a step back and go (very) part time as much as now! (Instead I'm taking a step up and going full time, but with a lot of resentment).