How to respond to "I'm bored"

[givemushypeasachance]

I know all children do it and it's normal, but is there a better way to respond to the whining of "I'm bored"? Basically to get them to stop whining so much! It's understandable if they're at home in the summer holidays and actually are bored and listless and need a bit of assistance to help choose something to do. But when they've spent a couple of hours at a fun science museum where they've had a great time, and are going to get a go on some fair rides next, but are currently having lunch and need to just sit quietly for 5-10 mins until the food arrives, it is grating to hear "I'm bored... I'm bored... I'm booooored, what can I do, I'm bored!" every thirty seconds. This is an 8yo.

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased. Saying "that's okay, you can just sit quietly for a few minutes" only gets more whining. Suggesting they try to think of something to do, also whining. Giving them a phone to play games on keeps them quiet but not ideal. Is there any magic solution to this or do you just have to ride it out? It's tempting to say "yes so what, but please be bored quietly I don't want to hear about it", but that seems to be less acceptable parenting these days!

My (slightly terrifying) Mother used to say "only boring people get bored"

Waiting in a restaurant, I would hand them their book to read.

Waiting in a restaurant- up to a certain age I always had cards, book, colouring etc

Now they are 9 and 11 we can generally manage without and just chat. But that’s last year or two probably

What are you doing in the restaurant - are you playing about on your phone or having an adult conversation without them? Either way, it sounds like they are feeling left out, rather than bored. Can you play a game, like hangman or "what animal am I thinking of?" Can you have a conversation they are involved in?

In general, around the house, I would always respond with house work suggestions. Out and about moaning, I used to say "sorry, you will have to say that in a nicer way, I don't respond to moaning."

Huh, I grew up in the 70s and 80s. My parents dealt with the restaurant issue by never ever taking us out to eat.
And I never said I was bored in the school holidays or weekends as that led to me being used as child labour on the family farm. Picking strawberries anyone? Plums? Potatoes apples pears? Grading the same. Ar least I didn't have to do that dangerous shovelling grain thing. It was literally suffocating. My dad made my cousin do that, I think he had fallen out with my cousin at that time.
I looked forward to being bored it was a lovely break from farm work. Maybe not much help for you OP.
I once worked with a great guy who had grown up in an actual civil war in East Africa. He had the best stories about walking to school through mine fields. I wonder what he told his UK born kids when they whined they were bored.

Agree with everyone who suggested playing a game or engaging them in conversation in the restaurant. We always get some bread for them to nibble on too.

@NotSureWhatUsernameToChoose

Really - they shout angrily at you at 8 years old?! What a rude child you have. I would deal with that before the I'm "bored situation".

That's a classic situation that my dad says 'I'd have got a thick ear for that' to. It's good that we've got beyond routinely assaulting children, but some parents do lack gumption

"Me too kid, what can we do about it?"

"Oh dear, how sad. Nevermind."

I think kids need to learn how to manage boredom. I really, really struggle with anything repetitive or boring, but being dragged to church every Sunday ('no you can't take a book to read. Read the mass sheet') taught me to manage extreme boredom.

Only boring people get bored.

A chocolate button works. And then YouTube.

I'm bored too, can I have a button?

That’s not really going to teach them to be able to wait, is it?

Giving kids your phone is what causes the problem in the first place.

My mum always used to say intelligent people are never bored. You have toys, books, find something! Lol. She was right too.

My mum used to solve it by getting broom and bucket, sponges for cleaning bathroom and get on with this, no time for boredom in this house. Plenty to do. My brother and I never ever ever ever uttered the phrase "I´m bored" in front of her. We knew what was coming.
My daughter says it from time to time (she´s nearly 6) and all she gets is "no one died of boredom, dear".
All this endless entertainment organising that we see nowadays is raising a whole generation incapable of amusing themselves.

If they're too bored to entertain themselves they need a job to do instead or a problem to solve.

Thanks for the suggestions folks - as pointed out, this was a specific "has been entertained all morning, going to do more fun stuff in a bit, just needs to sit still and wait for food" scenario. He does plenty of whining about being bored back at home as well, but that does have more scope for then helping him to identify activities to engage in. I was hoping for sitting and talking or playing eye spy when it's just a five minute wait for doughballs to arrive. We were running late so it was approaching hangry situation which didn't help, but it's still frustrating to have a child sit there and moan about being bored and what can they do, when you've just spent several hours doing fun activities that they begged to do. When does becoming grateful kick in, aged about 20 or so?

I think this would be my message tbh — we’ve paid for you to do activities and brought you out to eat, all of which must have cost a lot of money, and you’re saying you’re ‘bored’?

If my kids did this they’d know that we wouldn’t be going out to eat again any time soon. It’s a massive treat.

Why has that caused the problem in the first place. My children didn't have screens but I really don't see the difference between playing a game with pen and paper and playing a game for 10 mins on a phone - if in moderation of course.

I take a pad and a pen and we play pictionary when there is a lull to fill. Also I spy but I don't know if that's already a bit boring for an 8 year old?

Or there is that shopping list memory game when you take turns to add something to the list and everyone has to remember it.

Or failing that they just have to suffer a conversation with me 😃

If mine had said they were bored whilst simply waiting for a meal to arrive on a day out the response would have been ‘fine , we will just go straight home then so you can find something interesting to do ‘ .

How old are they? My response in that sort of setting is generally: Yes, I'm a bit bored too, its hard to wait sometimes isn't it. They have to cook the food though so lets practice being patient. What was your fave thing about this mornings activity? Then if they start complaining I add my favourites and just overtake the whining with conversation about the day so far/ what is coming next. It sometimes ends up being just me talking to myself while they sulk a bit! Sometimes it works and they join in the conversation.

At home: As PP said "oh dear. Heres a cloth, can you dust the furniture/wash up/load the washing machine."

Out and about between activities: Quite honestly, this is rudeness and I would not tolerate it. if they have been engaged in fun activities all morning, and cannot wait 5 minutes until te next fun activities, they would get a warning and if it happened again, we would be going home to do homework rather than whatever the afternoon's fun activity was meant to be. I swear I have done this. To me, children saying they are bored when on a child-centred day out is the height of rudeness. My nephews do this and I cannot stand it.

This is what my mother used to scream in my face if I dared to say I was bored !!!

Love this