How to respond to "I'm bored"

[givemushypeasachance]

I know all children do it and it's normal, but is there a better way to respond to the whining of "I'm bored"? Basically to get them to stop whining so much! It's understandable if they're at home in the summer holidays and actually are bored and listless and need a bit of assistance to help choose something to do. But when they've spent a couple of hours at a fun science museum where they've had a great time, and are going to get a go on some fair rides next, but are currently having lunch and need to just sit quietly for 5-10 mins until the food arrives, it is grating to hear "I'm bored... I'm bored... I'm booooored, what can I do, I'm bored!" every thirty seconds. This is an 8yo.

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased. Saying "that's okay, you can just sit quietly for a few minutes" only gets more whining. Suggesting they try to think of something to do, also whining. Giving them a phone to play games on keeps them quiet but not ideal. Is there any magic solution to this or do you just have to ride it out? It's tempting to say "yes so what, but please be bored quietly I don't want to hear about it", but that seems to be less acceptable parenting these days!

100% this! DCs are 7 and 12 now and more than capable of waiting in restaurants but I still have a box of top trumps in every handbag😁

Exactly this, there is noting wrong with a child naming an emotion, we wouldn't bat an eyelid at an adult doing it. But we are inferring an expectation whether there or not, that it is our job to solve that emotion - it's not real it's just a feeling/emotion. Feelings aren't facts! If they say I feel bored what can I do then that's a cue for you to help. We, as parents, seem to put some value judgment on the word, being bored doesn't make you a bad person any more than being sad so let's stop with the only boring people are bored rubbish.

It sounds like a tough spot! Instead of just telling them to be quiet, you might try redirecting their focus. For instance, suggest they come up with a list of things they enjoyed about the museum or think about what rides they’re excited to try next. You could also offer a small, simple challenge like spotting something interesting in their surroundings. This shifts their attention from whining to engaging their creativity, making the wait more bearable.

“Tough”

I think that's a bit unkind.

I know plenty of people who get bored. They are not boring!
They are naturally curious, ambitious, motivated, or not any of these, but have an interest in others and the world in general.
So many things can make you bored. Personal circumstances, losing your job ( for one reason or another) a change in your health....
I'm very happy with my friends, some of whom say they're bored, we're all bored sometimes...boredom can lead to reflection, then creativity, sometimes.
It's not good to be judgemental.

8yo is old enough to be told he/she is acting like a spoiled child, and why. I wouldn’t tolerate it. A firm “if you need to be entertained by someone else every waking minute, I’ll need to rethink how we run life at home because that’s not an acceptable or reasonable or healthy way for an 8yo child to behave. Boredom is part of life - if you’re lucky” would be my response.

We found impromptu quizzes great in restaurants when waiting for food, which absolutely is boring. 'Name 5 Pokémon that start with the letter R' sort of thing. No equipment needed.

Children tend to live in the moment, more so the younger they are, so don't really focus on what they have been doing or what they're going to be doing next. But by 8 they should be able to wait without moaning. I once stood in a queue for 2 hours with my child around that age and he was very bored but understood there was no choice if he wanted to do the fun thing the queue was for. You can pull them up on it though - children don't have to be pampered to all the time and especially not when they're 8 and waiting for 10 minutes. The natural consequence would be to not eat out if he can't wait for the food.

An 8yo?

I would be doing paper-based games so things like noughts and crosses, hangman etc

A lot of places hand these out to kids, they have word searches and colouring etc on them

They can't do that when they are in a restaurant waiting for food,
OP I usually take a note book and crayons out with me, failing that a game like I spy, I went o the market and bought, would you rather or just chatting, ' What was the best thing you saw/ did this morning? why? etc

Only boring people get bored.

Go and clean the car / shed/ rabbit pen etc.

I just ignore it.

I used to tell mine that they could go and tidy their rooms if they were bored, and if their rooms were tidy then to tidy their drawers. That worked well for a while until my daughter said, I'm not bored or anything, but is there anything exciting I can do?'

Don't waste your money taking them to restaurants if they don't enjoy it. You could just as easily make or buy a picnic and have it in a park where they can run around.

I also used to get told 'Only boring people get bored'

My DM used to set me to work, I think I cleared out her kitchen cupboards once a year.

I use time awaiting food as instructional conversation time.

I had socially awkward family and had to learn how to hold a conversation rather than talk at people as a late teen/early 20s, which I found embarrassing when I realised my lack. Time like this is perfect for teaching polite social chitchat, table manners and socially acceptable behaviours in busy places. Actively explaining that this is the 'thing' we were doing if they complained of boredom. I've done it since they were about 6. Now as pre teens, they sit down and start the conversation themselves.

"Ah well, life is boring sometimes, you've just got to deal with it" is my usual response when out and about. At home my response is "well find something to do then". Tbf they very rarely say it to me because they know that it won't achieve anything. They are well aware that they are responsible for keeping themselves occupied.

By 8 they really should be able to wait for food in a restaurant without whining. They also shouldn't be shouting at you angrily either. Sounds like you've got bigger fish to fry than just dealing with a bit of boredom.

My ND child would smack their self in the fact if I said this. I usually suggest an option, oh really we can go home and you can do chores." They oddly get very enthusiastic to stay!

we had that, and "only fools get bored"

Your child sounds spoilt and rude.

I used to get the Carol Voderman maths books out, and say 'oh ok, do a few pages of these then, and I'll mark them in half an hour' they soon used to run off and entertain themselves. 😆

In a restaurant? Your focus, so hang man, or noughts and crosses on a napkin, or a game of eye spy.

Also a chat about five things they're grateful for, five things they're looking forward to. A bit of perspective is sometimes needed, and even kids with every entertainment in the world at their disposal will moan they're bored if they don't have the right mindset.

In the scenario you've explained, they have to learn to be patient. It's shit, being patient is boring, but it's mostly unavoidable.

I used to deploy small games in restaurants like cards or noughts and crosses when they were little, at 8 they should be able to engage in some kind of conversation at the table, but it will require you (or another adult at the table) to engage with them about the topic. "What film did you watch yesterday? Did you like it? What was your favourite bit? If you could change the ending what would you change it to?" etc.

Back up weaponry was always activity book stuff (plenty for slightly older children) and reading.

You're playing the long game in making sure your kids aren't a pain in the arse in situations like restaurants and queues essentially, it's graft, but it pays off.

"Yeah me too, I hope our food is here soon"

"same, what was your favourite thing you saw at the museum"

"ahh, that's no good, shall we have a think about what we can get up for the rest of the holidays"

eye spy?

Exactly - that was always my response if they moaned about being bored. I bet you are not bored - think about the things that are preventing you being bored and offload some onto the poor bored children!

The late QEtQM informed a young ‘bored’ Princess Margaret that “if you are bored you are boring” if your children can understand ‘boring’ they will know not to advertise
this condition.