How to respond to "I'm bored"

[givemushypeasachance]

I know all children do it and it's normal, but is there a better way to respond to the whining of "I'm bored"? Basically to get them to stop whining so much! It's understandable if they're at home in the summer holidays and actually are bored and listless and need a bit of assistance to help choose something to do. But when they've spent a couple of hours at a fun science museum where they've had a great time, and are going to get a go on some fair rides next, but are currently having lunch and need to just sit quietly for 5-10 mins until the food arrives, it is grating to hear "I'm bored... I'm bored... I'm booooored, what can I do, I'm bored!" every thirty seconds. This is an 8yo.

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased. Saying "that's okay, you can just sit quietly for a few minutes" only gets more whining. Suggesting they try to think of something to do, also whining. Giving them a phone to play games on keeps them quiet but not ideal. Is there any magic solution to this or do you just have to ride it out? It's tempting to say "yes so what, but please be bored quietly I don't want to hear about it", but that seems to be less acceptable parenting these days!

I always think you have to be quite a dull person to just trot out the "only boring people get bored" line. The most interesting adults i know kept me absorbed as a child with just their own story telling ability or a pen and paper.

Didn't a study prove being bored is good for children, because it increases the use of their imagination? Parents shouldn't line up constant activities. Or have I fabricated this? 😂

If we are waiting in a restaurant I think of a conversation that will engage my children, or we play a game.

Bored at home then yes sometimes I will just offer them some chores and they magically stop thinking they have nothing to do, other times I point them in the direction of a toy they have neglected.

But if we are somewhere like a restaurant I think surely part of the reason to go is to spend time enjoying the company by chatting together or playing a game while we wait for the food

Was op not talking to them already? She was only expecting them to sit for 5-10 minutes, did I read they're 8 or 10 ? Surely they shouldn't need constantly entertained, like a toddler would.

Because playing a game with pen and paper isn’t addictive.

No, you haven’t. This research came out recently. It’s hardly rocket science though!

give them a coconut and hammer to open, hours of fun.

In a restaurant be ready for conversation. Ask a question if conversation is stalling.

Preferably open ended, creative thinking type questions. These have no ‘real answers’.

Questions such as
‘Why is the sky blue?
‘If you could invent a new machine, what would it be? What would it do?

There are loads online, like these. Great for developing divergent thinking. https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a42084405/questions-for-kids/#questions-to-get-their-imaginations-going

Ignore them

5 mins later they'll be imersed in something

We had a 'Bored Board' basically an A3 sheet of paper stuck on the wall with a massive list of things she could do with stuff/space we had at home. It was thought of out of necessity when Covid lockdown happened and DH and I were working full time from home while homeschooling a 5yo and trying not to have nervous breakdowns.

We updated it every few months with more grown up or different ideas.

Premise was that if she uttered the words 'I'm bored' she'd be pointed to the board. If she didn't want to do one of those things and couldn't think of anything else herself then she'd be given a household chore to do.

Things on the list included

• Lego
• bath with toys and stuff
• draw a picture from the list below

- cat riding a unicorn - alien in a spaceship circling the moon - dog making pizza - a house with all your dream rooms - ball pit room, room made of marshmallows......

• build a house/bridge/picture frame with lolly sticks
• use cardboard to make hands and give them all weird and wonderful manicures
• plant something in the garden or dig a hole to Australia

Responding with humour "Hi bored, I'm dad" style leads to angry shouting as they don't like being teased

This is a bit concerning. something so mild leads to angry shouting?
That's bad uncontrolled behaviour and disporportionate. you need to address that promptly

"It's OK to be bored"
When being bored is new to them they will start to get frustrated. Continue to ignore it and don't give any suggestions. They will eventually reach a point where they entertain themselves.

Ask them to tidy their rooms - it will encourage them to potter around up there and enjoy their own company.

Well, if you're out and waiting for lunch to arrive in the middle of an activity filled day, then a gentle suggestion that maybe you should all go home, then wouldn't go amiss.

Natural consequences - a perfectly acceptable concept in modern parenting.

Have a list of boring jobs ready, tell them if they are bored to start at the first one and work their way down until they aren't bored. Worked for mine and me when I was a child. Tasks included pairing all socks, dusting all skirting boards, cleaning the bath. You don't even have to write tasks that you want doing just make the list nice and long and they won't be bored after the first one or two if that.

Such as "here's the junk box, here's the foil and the stickers - build me a rocket". Or choices "your new Meccano hasn't been used properly yet. You could do that or you could build a diet in the garden. Which so you fancy?"

I go with this approach for my kind as he has ASD and generally needs a bit more direction. Pinterest has loads of stuff. I squirrel a few random ideas away at the start of the hols. Last week DS did a coding breaking exercise I found for free on the internet. I hid clues around the house for him to find. This week have gathered a box full of scrap bits of cardboard, sellotape, etc for building stuff.

DS has got quite into the Olympics so going to see if I can get him building national flags, podiums, running tracks etc from Lego.

My Dads response to 'I'm bored' (or indeed anything starting I'm) was to stick out his hand as if to greet you and say
I'm Dad pleased to meet you!
😂

'ooh let's ask the waiter if you can help with the washing up . . .'

I use to play the alphabet game with my step kids, they loved it and it killed a fair bit of time. If they complained of being bored at home which tbf they didn’t do much, I’d find a shit job for them to see they have so much to do and absolutely no reason to be bored. Maybe that’s why they didn’t complain about being bored 😂😂

When boredom is unavoidable, I usually go for the "elevenerife" option to distract them. "I'm bored too. I'm bored and I'm hungry. I'm so hungry, I'm going to eat my own arm off. Nom, nom, nom!" "Muuuuuumm! 😄"

“Only boring people get bored.”

Mine was hello bored, I'm mummy/daddy/nanny/auntie/uncle, they all did it 😂

She spoke of wanting them to "sit quietly" . To me, sitting having a conversation isnt sitting quietly. I hope op was having a conversation with them but that's not how it came across

Exactly, to me it's a really good opportunity to have a conversation with the children. I often ask them things like what shall we do later in the holiday, or what was your favourite thing you saw this morning/we have done so far and then just see where that leads us.