Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SixSpotBurnet · 16/04/2008 21:49

you are running two things together, Quattrocento

She said that sometimes he went for a couple of days without eating ie refuses to eat.

She also said that sometimes she didn't meal plan ahead - she waited until he was starving before starting tea - well, as long as a meal is then produced, I don't think being hungry for 20 minutes is the end of the world.

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 21:49

I agree, nuerotic parents do drive me insane. Why make parenting harder for yourself by worrying about every little thing? People should sit back and enjoy parenting . I will not tell someone how I feel about their parenting style. It's not my business, I have to follow whatever the parents want me to do and be consistent with their wishes. If it means keeping their DS out of the way then so be it. They like to be over protective, that's their decision. I happen to be a very professional Childminder who loves her job to pieces and finds it extremely rewarding. I also think I am extremely good at what I do and am told so all the time by both other minders and parents.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 21:50

oh that is just a LIE, quattro, i'm so horrified that you would say that.

what NA actually said was "i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche."

doesn't sound like a starving child to me. and dd very often eats ham and cucumber from the fridge for lunch while i knock her up a wee omelette... are you really saying that's bad?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3andnomore · 16/04/2008 21:51

Well...for what it's worth, I do have slummy mummy trades...am I proud of them??????No, they are the parts I try to "work" on....!
I am certainly not a yummy mummy...because well....apparently my bodytype is "Brick" if I go by Trinny and Susannah (thanks girls).....and a yummy mummy does say more about the person they look like, not the mummy they are....

I do have some traits that make me a good mummy, though...

So, I think all in all that makes me that average mummy, that is trying to be a good or at least reasonable mummy at all times, but does fail at times....but hohum...I think my Kids are o.k., so hopefully I am not damaging them in anyway....they do know how much I love them, and I hope that really will go some way to make them feel good people!

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 21:52

it is your OTT response to so-called neurotic parenting (becoming nervous by your own admission and keeping him in his buggy) that i find worrying, FL.

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 21:53

But how do I know he is not hungry? I don't have the information that you have Aitch. All I have to go on are the posts - and these were the two that made me think her DC could be hungry:

"if he goes a day or two without eating i don't get overly stressed about it"

read in conjunction with this

"i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner"

I could do the same with the posts on dirtiness - involving not washing, teeth brushing, combing hair, removing pen scribbles etc Never mind the not wiping him properly bits. You obv have lots more information and know that he is not neglected but can you see how to the uninformed all this was (very) worrying?

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 21:53

yes, welliemum he does live in a 'bubble world' that's not an insult, 'Bubble boy' would be n insult but I didn't say that. Some parents just like their children brought up like this. And yes they are completely nuerotic, it's just a shame really. But, like I say, I'm not going to go telling people how to raise their children. I just have to keep consistent with their wishes.

Janni · 16/04/2008 21:53

I don't like naming individual posters but really, Quattro, do you not KNOW how nasty your post was?

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 21:58

Is that not what everyone thought? Goodness me, there were some posters making reference to social services ... There were no smilies in there to say it was all a joke - it seemed to be entirely truthful. It was only when Aitch (who apparently knows her) said that NA was exaggerating that I relaxed.

stripeymama · 16/04/2008 21:59

A child won't go a day or two without eating if s/he is hungry!

NA offers food - if he doesn't eat it, she doesn't stress. Thats what I too that part of the post to mean.

scottishmummy · 16/04/2008 22:00

as any paediatrucian will tell you
dont worry about daily food/calorific intake it is good practice to review over day period.if a child passes urine and has bowel movement then it is ingesting enough

scottishmummy · 16/04/2008 22:01

as any paediatrucian will tell you
dont worry about daily food/calorific intake it is good practice to review over 7day period.if a child passes urine and has bowel movement then it is ingesting enough

3andnomore · 16/04/2008 22:05

must admit, I am shocked people considered calling SS out over that, or mentioning it....

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 22:09

imo it's only because the thread was already committed to giving her a doing that you'd assume any neglect from that statement. other (older) posters would have been applauded for the same relaxed sentiment.

i don't have any special info other than she did BLW and her ds and she took to it brilliantly (perhaps because of her lack of neuroses) and i personally believe that if a child 'goes a day or two without eating' but has as much milk as he wants there is nothing to get stressed about. i'm certain that this is what she meant.

Janni · 16/04/2008 22:09

If anyone GENUINELY wants NA to change aspects
of her parenting, I would have thought that pointing out the real dangers and glossing over the 'it's a question of taste and style' stuff would be the way to go.

Telling someone they're insane, need their head examining etc doesn't really help anyone change their behaviour i.m.e.

welliemum · 16/04/2008 22:12

The tone of this thread has been amazingly aggressive and it's hard to understand what people hoped to achieve by that.

If someone is doing something and you think it's not right, about the most pointless thing you can do is jump up and down shrieking "YOU ARE INSANE".

NA's OP was lighthearted and the thing that really jumped out at me was not neglect but lack of information, ie that some of the things she was doing were risky and she didn't seem aware of the risk.

I think UnderRated's post of Sunday 9:18pm or thereabouts was great because she discussed in a really useful way what she sees as the priorities and why.

Most of this thread has nothing to do with helping NA to be better informed. It's full of people congratulating themselves on being conscientious parents at NA's expense, and I find that really distasteful.

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 22:12

But where does it say he has as much milk as he wants? It doesn't say that. And I hadn't read the whole thread, only the OP and the bit up to where NA added a whole lot more things. It sounded really as though there was something seriously amiss Aitch.

3andnomore · 16/04/2008 22:12

Thing is, whilst there are some some things that NA did that I personally wouldn't....I really don't think her parenting is bad parenting...bar maybe the Car seat issue...but I do know those can arise....

but then, I do live in a rather deprived area....so...I have been able to witness worth...but as SS are already involved and seem to deem the homes as o.k....who am I to say otehrwise....

Janni · 16/04/2008 22:15

I totally agree, welliemum

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 22:17

look, quattro, if a child doesn't eat for a couple of days but then does, THERE IS NO REASON TO JUMP INTO AN AMBULANCE.

it's crazy and mean to jump to the conclusion from what she's written that she starves her child for two days and doesn't bother about it.

but there was a lot of crazy and mean on this thread... do you know what, in nearly two years i don't think i've ever been so shaken on MN as reading this thread. the way that everyone attacked NA, it was just revolting.

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 22:18

"Telling someone they're insane, need their head examining etc doesn't really help anyone change their behaviour i.m.e."

But NA wasn't going to change her behaviour and thinks it's cool to be relaxed. Which it is up to a point. Now I'm getting confused either it was all made up or exaggerated or it wasn't but let's say it wasn't made up.

My posts weren't about getting her to change her behaviour - she'd made it clear that she thought she was doing the right thing - even with the illegal bits - so I was about witholding validation and doing so plainly and clearly.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 22:19

yes, welliemum, underrated's post was very constructive i thought. i'd have applauded if i'd been on the thread at the time.

SixSpotBurnet · 16/04/2008 22:21

Well, we will all make certain judgements about the way that various posters have posted on this thread. It's not just the contents of a post that are illuminating - it's the tenor and the tone as well as the actual words.

3andnomore · 16/04/2008 22:22

quattro...I haven't actually read the whoe thread...but I don't think that NA thought it was all perfectly fine, hence the title of slummy mummy....

Janni · 16/04/2008 22:25

Well, Quattro, can I suggest that the next time you feel like posting such a harsh response, you read the whole thread first. I am not a particular supporter of NA - I don't know her - but it did seem to me that when people questioned some of her ways she asked for more information and explained why she thought what she'd been doing was OK.

She is 19 years old. She miscalculated when she wrote her OP. I imagine her confidence and self-esteem will have taken a severe battering.