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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 14:45

but FL, do the parents of this child feel happier knowing that you put him in his buggy to stop him getting bruises etc? is that what they've asked you to do? what have you told them about the fact that you in effect disapprove of their parenting style? have you spoken to them about it?

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:54

no I havnt spoken to them about their parenting style, it's not my place, I would never tell someone how to raise their children. If they would prefer their DS not to do "boy" stuff with the other boys I look after then that's up to them. Everyone raises their children very differently as we can see from this thread

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 14:57

so have you told them that you keep their child in the buggy while others run about having fun (as you seem to be saying) because of how they will react if he is bruised?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:59

no but as I said, he's not there all the time, just when its getting a little fractiuos (sp?). I reckon, knowing them, they would prefer him in the buggy or highchair when this happens.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 15:01

but you haven't told them, though? don't you think you should?

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 15:06

They have expressed their wishes for him not to join in with the other children so what exactly do i need to tell them? I respect their wishes and that is my job. It is not my job to question what they believe to be right for their son.

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 15:11

I am going to get on with my job now as the children are just waking form their nap - we have lots of fun activities and games to play. So good luck with the thread nappy!

swiftyknickers · 16/04/2008 15:12

this thread is awful. think very witch hunty

nappy addict is clearly naive and mis guided- she is 19 FGS!!
her photos indicate her child looks happy, well fed and loved.

maybe everyone should take a deep breath and back off a little?

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 15:41

tbh FL it's not your job either to call him 'wimpy' and 'bubble boy' or whatever on websites either, but that hasn't prevented you.
all i'm saying is that you clearly disapprove of their parenting style and the child is suffering for it, so wouldn't you be better off acknowledging that you and the parents aren't a good fit and getting someone else in? that's what i'd hope a CM would do if she felt strongly about my parenting choices, rather than talking about me and my child online.

lulumama · 16/04/2008 15:57

totally agree with that aitch.

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 17:30

Aitch, you need to get off FL's back. From what I can see in what she has written, and how she has ALREADY answered you, she is doing the best in the circumstances she finds herself in. Why should she turn this job down because she disagree's with the parents methods of bringing up their child?

Heck, if we all took umbridge and walked out of jobs because we disagreed with something, we'd all have CV's long as motorways!

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 16/04/2008 17:37

She is caring for their child, yet can't talk to them about her problems?

SparklyGirlFriday · 16/04/2008 17:41

I'm sure she does talk to them about any problems that occur but that doesn't mean telling them what they should and shouldn't do with their child. We seem to be going around in circles.

SparklyGirlFriday · 16/04/2008 17:53

And surely the whole point of MN is that it's anonymous and people can talk about the stresses of their jobs without identifying or vilifying. FL is simply being honest about what happens in childcare and education in general. Fussy parents exist and FL seems to have been as senstive (to the parents) as she could have been given the circumstances. Being a teacher, i'm sure that someone will talk about you and your child/ren during their education and it won't always be nice but that doesn't mean they will say it to you directly during parents evening.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 16/04/2008 17:55

Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal?

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 17:56

Oh FFS! This thread isnt even about me! Get off your perfect parent thrones and step into the real world.

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 17:57

Sparkly you took the words out of my mouth!

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 18:18

i'm not being a perfect parent, nor have i been on this thread when i've been sticking up for NA and i'm not on FL's back. i'm just surprised at her strength of feeling. Personally i think if you are being professional then you owe it to the people paying for your time to be honest with them.

so i'm just saying, FL, that if you were my CM and you felt as strongly as you clearly do about the way i wanted to bring up my child (to the extent that you were harnessing her in a buggy because you were didn't want me being concerned over a bruise) then i'd prefer you told me about it honestly and perhaps we would have to accept a clash of personalities and seek different care. that doesn't seem at all controversial to me, tbh.

and if you are as great a CM as you say you are, presumably you'd have no difficulty filling the place?

it would be in effect, my problem if i didn't want you disapproving of my parenting choices as i'd be the only one put out and having to look for new childcare? and yet i'd still prefer you to just be honest about your feelings towards me and my choices...

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 18:20

by the way sparkly, i don't understand this from you "Being a teacher, i'm sure that someone will talk about you and your child/ren during their education and it won't always be nice but that doesn't mean they will say it to you directly during parents evening."

so is it your feeling that she should say something or not?

devesa · 16/04/2008 19:07

Can I just say that when people give an opinion it doesn't mean they are putting themselves forward as perfect parents. The world of parenting is, as I have discovered a sensitive and competative one. Comparing methods and attitudes weather you voice them or not is something I am sure most parents are guilty of.....well mums really. Just because you voice an opinion on a certain issue, weather it be strong or not, and wish to get to the bottom of it doesn't mean that you thnk you are a perfect parent.

Debate is good. You can learn a lot from it. I don't think anyone on this thread is out to upset or knock anyone. This would be a bit boring if we all agreed...don't you think??
The great thing is it's real but anonymous to a certain extent. Nobody need to get upset.

chefswife · 16/04/2008 19:30

Like I said? this thread is touchy,

Quattrocento · 16/04/2008 19:36

I remember reading and contributing to a similar slummy mummy thread - whereby the mum in question used to do the school run in pyjamas - and in fact used to pull her jeans on over her pyjamas. That was utterly bizarre too - I couldn't believe that one either - I mean why not just take the pyjamas off? Why not get showered and dressed?

I've looked at the baby in NAs pictures and he does seem healthy and thriving and happy and really very sweet ... So I have got over myself and I think she is making all this stuff up to tease ...

lulumama · 16/04/2008 19:39

parenting is not about extremes

labels like slummy mummy or perfect parents does no-one any favours

why does disagreeing or questioning make you so defensive?

totally agree with aitch, who is being entirely reasonable

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 19:42

I agree Quattro I think people say things to tease.

lulumama · 16/04/2008 19:44

well, surely posting all this stuff, if it is made up , to get a reaction , is not particularly edifying either?