Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
coppertop · 16/04/2008 13:00

Devesa - In NA's later posts she asks posters to explain things so that she can see the reasoning behind them. She sums it up herself in this post:

"i have asked people to explain about the cutlery. if they can explain to me why it is necessary i will start doing it. i asked the same about changing just a wet disposable where your hands don't touch any wee (btw wee is sterile so even if your hands do touch wee it doesn't matter but i obviously don't want my hands to smell of wee so if using a reusable where i have to handle the wet nappy i wash them) i asked someone to explain about suncream cos i didn't know your skin was getting damaged unless you were getting burnt. in that case why aren't we told to wear it in the winter too? there were probably other things i asked people to explain, yet no one did."

The replies she got to her questions were downright nasty in places IMHO.

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 13:11

I haven't read all these post but I toatally agree with what you're saying Nappy

I cant stand all these nuerotic parents! They drive me insane. Especially as I'm a Childminder and was a Nanny for years before. I've got one set of parents at the moment who are so completely nuerotic, it almost makes me nervous to look after their DS. He's almost 2 yrs old and, as 2 yr old do, he gets bumps and knocks to his head quite regularly. Every time this happens they completely over react. It's getting to the point where I keep him strapped in the buggy or highchair for the fear of him getting another bruise on his head! It's ridiculous and unfair to the DS. He's not allowed to have biscuits at snack time when all the others are having one - he has to make do with a rice cake . It's only one a day FFS! I feel really sorry for him . This bubble world he lives in is having an effect on his confidence, he can be really withdrawn and very wimpy.

I completely agree that children need germs and dirt! so what if a biscuit falls on the floor! All my other charge's parent's would completely agree too!

If a child wants to roll around in the mud, let them! They're kids!
A classic example: My DS was running through the park with a stick, a man came along and said (in a very camp way ) "that child has a stick in his hand, it's very dangerous you know!" I said "Yes he is! he likes sticks, He's a BOY!!!"

Mamazon · 16/04/2008 13:15

Fruit - i agree. the immune system needs germs in order to work out how to fight them.

a messy kid is a happy one my gran always said.

but i think the things people were objecting to were teh hygeine aspects and teh safety issues.
these have been addressed and i think it is safe to say that NA has taken on board much of what has been said.

so lets all leave her to get on with it shall we.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 13:30

Aaawww, I've only just found this thread and kinda like it! haha

OrmIrian · 16/04/2008 13:40

I am not a slummy mummy (vile term). However my default position on most things tends to be 'oh it'll be alright' and my default response to my DCs tends to be 'yes'. Which makes me very slack I guess. Never realised that I was all that different until the last few years. But I don't really care. I have 3 happy healthy children who generally behave well (enough) and are pleasant human beings. Do for me.

OrmIrian · 16/04/2008 13:41

Oh dear. Did it turn nasty? I obviously 'haven't read the whole thread'

chefswife · 16/04/2008 13:43

This thread is certainly touchy. Anyhow? I just wanted to comment on the sunscreen issue? UV and UB rays are damaging at all times of the day. Sunny days are just higher degrees. In Canada, we have a UV and UB rating on the Weather Channel and one is advised to wear sunscreen in all the seasons? for winter, a moisturizer with a Spf 15 is perfect. I unfortunately am allergic to some ingredients in sunscreen so I carry a parasol or wear a giant hat. It?s a shame the weather reports here don?t do the same in reporting the levels of UV and UB.

shrinkingsagpuss · 16/04/2008 13:45

I've only skimmed through this thread, spotted it earlier, but didn't read NA' op.

GOOD ON YOU NA!!!!!!

I too forget to wash my hands if changing a wee nappy, and often my hands have , as you say, only touched the outside of the nappy. I also don't use wipes for wee al the time.

DS cleans his teeth every night, but I forget DD's 2 teeth all the time.

I do always strap kids in to cars etc, but only coz i wold never forgive myself that ONE time.

I often make milk up, and leave it out over night, re heating the next day. Neither of my two DC's ave EVER had a tummy bug.

I sterilize DD's night time milk bottle, but all the rest, cups etc are hand washed, and dishwashed every other day.

It's not boasting, but it is unhealthy to be really anal abut all the cleanliness things. Touch wood, my children have had so few bugs its amazing, and NO TUMMY upsets.

I do wash my hands after I go to the loo, adn I do wash DC's after eating, and I do wash my hands before cooking.
I try and remember to get DS to wash his, but don't always remember, He does wash them if he's done a poo.

devesa · 16/04/2008 13:46

Point taken Copperhead. This is a really long thread and I haven't read it all, I was commenting on her original message which was so long and detailed it just looked like she wanted to shock. I thought it might end with the teats or dummy on the floor and found myself nodding along but it got scary after that.
Do you really carry on doing something you know isn't quite right even if you don't have the full scientific/social explaination?

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 16/04/2008 13:50

fruit I certainly wouldn't employ you as a nanny if you think such things.

There's a sliding scale between 'neurotic' parenting and neglect. I think NA is erring toward neglect.

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 13:53

devesa, i believe that when NA said that she's not bothered if her son doesn't eat for a few days she meant solid food rather than milk. she's not starving him, don't worry.

notjustmom, are you kidding me on? you think nappyaddict has had an easy time of it on this thread? you must have a very high tolerance for character assassination.

and it's not been a touchy thread imo, i think NA could have been a great deal touchier under the circumstances.

yes, the people who are sticking up for her are by and large people who know her from previous threads and can see that people are picking her up wrongly. but tbh if i saw a newbie getting a kicking such as this i'd step in.

i don't know what NA's 'problems' are, i don't even know if she's got any. she's always struck me as a good parent, doing her best for her young son. i do know that if someone was in trouble and did have problems she'd be a lot kinder to that person than many of you have been.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 16/04/2008 13:57

Feck the OP theres little ore we can add.

I am just worried about fruits post.
I wonder if she tells her mindees parents she straps him into his buggy or highchair all the time?
FGS if you can't deal with a difficult child you are in the wrong job!

AitchTwoOh · 16/04/2008 14:03

i know, that does seem a little odd, FL. maybe you and this child's parents just aren't a good fit?

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:16

Thanks thedevilwearsprimark much appreciated .
I happen to have excellent references and have been a Nanny/CM for over 10 years and never had a bad word said about me. In fact (I didnt want to boast but..) while nannying I constantly had friends of the parents coming up to me to let me know how much I was appreciated and they wished I was their Nanny!
I'll admit I haven't read all the posts so I dont know exactly what's been said prior to my original post and I disagree with the car seat thing but I believe kids should be kids. The only reason I feel I need to keep this child in a bubble is because of the parents, it's not the way I would bring up a child but I have to respect the parents wishes. He's not constantly strapped in FGS, I just put him in buggy when it is likely he will get another bump. The child isnt difficult, his parents are! I'm certainly NOT in the wrong job! I LOVE children and LOVE my job! If I had a "difficult" child I would be perfectly capable of looking after them. You've never even met me FGS

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 14:22

I dont think fruitl0ops2muchchoc has said anything untoward!!! just pointing things out the way they are.

why is everyone so darn tetchy! she's done nothing wrong, just like NA

lulumama · 16/04/2008 14:25

am a bit that anyone would not store milk properly at home or out and about

milk is a breeding ground for germs ,especially warm milk

it can make babies exceptionally ill , not just an upset tummy, but serious gastrointestinal illnesses, that can, in rare cases in new borns, be fatal..

making up milk and storing it correctly is incredibly important

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:25

Thankyou wolfgirl
I think people on here are just trying to keep the thread exciting by causing trouble

notjustmom · 16/04/2008 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfgirl · 16/04/2008 14:27

Mmmm - yes!! Well, Im off, leave everyone too it. cup of tea time, me thinks.

lulumama · 16/04/2008 14:28

well, we are all here entitled to our opinions about what constitutes slummy mummyness or borders on neglect

basic hygiene ( hand washing, teeth brushing), car seats,child unattneded in the bath,seat belts etc are all things that a lot of people feel strongly about. expressing an opinion is not the same as stirring trouble

SparklyGirlFriday · 16/04/2008 14:29

It's easy to be judgemental!!
Fruit During every career you will come across people who you don't agree with. This doesn't mean you're in the wrong job...From experience you've realised that a bit of dirt and a few small bumps are no big deal...You deserve to be shot !!

OrmIrian · 16/04/2008 14:29

On the subject of child being unattended in the bath. How old do they have to be for it to be OK? Not stirring, just wondering.

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:30

GrinGrin

cheesesarnie · 16/04/2008 14:31

this thread is scary.im not a slummy mummy but i am lazy,i cut corners so long as my children as safe and healthy and happy alls well.i just finished reading good book called how not to be a perfect mother by libby purves-thats my kind of lazy parenting-i wish id read it earler or that she did next stage up!

fruitl0ops2muchchoc · 16/04/2008 14:35

exactly cheesesarnie as long as the kids are safe and healthy! That's my point!

Swipe left for the next trending thread