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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
milge · 13/04/2008 01:13

And you are proud of this?

Lazylou · 13/04/2008 01:20

I am guilty of some of those things with DD but I have to say, on the issues of her health and safety, e.g. car chairs and cleaning her, I am pretty strict. I do not allow her to ride her bike indoors or things like that because I feel that, above everything, the limited space in our house leaves open the potential for injuries etc.

Each to their own, I say, but really, are you proud of all of those things?

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:23

not proud - it's just normal to me. but you get so many threads on here asking is it ok if i do this, i'm worried because i did that i thought it would be nice for people to see that not everyone's a 100% perfect and people do cut corners from time to time.

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S1ur · 13/04/2008 01:24

Blah blah. Obviously I could pick apart your ppost and criticise, but I suspect that would be a bit unfair given that you're posting at 1 in the morning.

Yes, I know generally what you mean, we aren't all perfect and it is refreshing to laugh about sometimes.

even my own imperfections differ from your list

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:26

i wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone said they did any of those things. i don't know why people do. the car seat one i can see but i knew even if i strapped it in i wouldn't be able to do it right in the dark so either way if we were unfortunate enough to be in a crash it wasn't going to be much good either way. i took the risk on the basis we were unlikely to have a crash, even if i did strap it in it wouldn't probably be doing much good and that i take ds in taxis all the time and you don't have to have a car seat for those.

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NoBiggy · 13/04/2008 01:29

We all cut some corners, I'm sure, but you assess the risk, and think, it's a pain, but I'll get the right car seat fitted correctly. Because you can go years without an accident, even without braking sharply, but on the one occasion you do, you want your child strapped in. And fate doesn't give notice.

And I try and keep my DDs clean because people react differently to dirty children (I don't mean messy, or grubby, but snotty and smelling of wee). Not fair to them I feel.

And I clicked on this thread quite expecting to be joining this club - seems I'm not!

UnderRated · 13/04/2008 01:30

We all forget to do things from time to time but there's a difference between being laid back and being consistently irresponsible and negligent.

Cold baby food, biscuits dropped on the floor for a minute, drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper are one thing. Not changing nappies as often as needed is not very fair and not washing hands afterwards is rather unpleasant but up to you. Like not washing your hands after you go to the loo. But I suppose lots of people do that.

Not strapping a car seat in, not wearing a seat belt and ignoring safety instructions is a totally different matter.

S1ur · 13/04/2008 01:30

stoppit started a debate at this time in the morning. I could answer your last post but it isn't wise. Let's just leave it at yeah we all cut corners and nobodies perfect

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:32

don't mind snotty kids one bit. my ds has a constantly runny nose and seems to have gotten into the habit of wiping it on his sleeve. now i could change his tshirt every 30 seconds but i'm not going to. i've been known to do it myself once. no tissue so it was a choice of discreetly wiping it on my sleeve and hoping no one would notice or having it run all down my face

wee-smelling kids are a different matter though. bleugh.

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S1ur · 13/04/2008 01:32

Sorry I posted after Nappy. Seems others are happy to debate - do continue I'll join in eventually

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:35

I think every 4 hours is ok for a nappy change as long as they're not sodden. We were leaving baby group the other day and i was going to do it there but realised he'd only had it on 3 hours so decided to do it at my friends, but then he fell asleep and he woke up and we went to the park. it was then i remembered so i changed it removing a rather damp vest at the same time. luckily it hadn't gone onto his trousers though. but generally it is 4 hours. just saying that sometimes i forget. i am admitting this stuff cos sometimes it is nice to be reassured you aren't the only one who forgets things and feels like a bad mummy and its totally normal not because i am proud or anything.

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S1ur · 13/04/2008 01:42

I wouldn't worry about the nappy thing tbh Nappy (strangely ironic name now I realise) I too have let my dcs go for long periods in their ultra absorbant awful for the world nappies. Occasionally because ds (eg) has refused to let me take it off, I could force him or I could wait until he doesn't mind. I have done both. It depends.

The carseat thing is a bt non-negotiable to me because on one hand, worse case -sore (it has NEVER come to this btw) and in the other, well, I leave that to your imagination.

BTW my dd smells of wee sometimes, its may be a bit eurgh but she is figuring out how to hold her urine in until she makes it to a loo. Its tricky but she's trying. I know people may judge her.

Oooh another btw. Aduklt teeth are effected by what happens to milk teeth to an extent. I am a big stickler for brushing, but hey ho its prob all genetic anyhow.

(told you I'd debate eventually)

S1ur · 13/04/2008 01:43

Worse case (NAPPY LEFT ON) -sore , other (CARSEAT) leave to your imagination

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 02:15

btw i always change a pooey one straight away. but to me 4 hours for a wet nappy is fine. if he was uncomfortable he would tell me (he tells me straight away when he's done a pooh cos he doesn't want it on anymore)

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nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 02:17

slur - didn't know that about the teeth. i've always thought milk teeth didn't really matter hance my laxness. although on that link it did say 2 days was ok so phew not doing too bad with that one. even when i do brush them i don't know why i bother and can't see what good it's doing. ds lets me put it in there for 20 seconds maximum.

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S1ur · 13/04/2008 02:17

Yeah Nappy, poo - change. but wee, detailed differnce of opinion between me and ds below

If you use disposables I suspect four hours is fine tbh.

fairyfly · 13/04/2008 02:19

No, as that is a shit term of phrase, i am also not a yummy mummy, a twatty watty or anything else that the fucking sundaywonday times comes up with.

I am a ............ Happy wappy, single uppy, tummy wommy,

Why dont these people get a fucking brain?

S1ur · 13/04/2008 02:27

Teeth - yeah I know! Odd eh? But apparantly it does matter. I know it is almost a formality with my 18m too, to be fiar he is getting better thriugh habit and watching older sis, but still it is cursory unless I pin him down.

Really diet is the main key IMO. Brushing throughly is fab but if you can a quick once over a couple times a day its still good though. I have erm, isshhooos about teeth a bit. TBH every parent has their priorities. One of mine is teeth, it isn't a biggie but I do insist. Yours are different but that's cool they aren't worse just different. variety is spce balha blah

S1ur · 13/04/2008 02:29

YES FF good fucking point. Obvioudy the actual term is SHITE utter bollocks. Slummy mummy FFS. Just translate as Crap/Inadequate woman why don't ya.

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 02:30

i was going to put slovenly mummy but wasn't sure how to spell it!!

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fairyfly · 13/04/2008 02:32

When i hear terms like that i just see a bunch of dicks or monkeys saying....... ( in an old way cuntry voice) We made words rhyme, hehehehe, now, soon we will make fire and poo come out of our bottoms

fairyfly · 13/04/2008 02:35

My son has a hearty wearty problem

I am thinking of actually caring about it,

What am i

He farts

So i will be a hearty farty mum

oooooooo, clever me for having a job as a writer

But i haven't, i have no job

Mhamai · 13/04/2008 02:38

Having only read thread title....Yes I am.
Off to read other posts.

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 02:38

ff

tbh that list was just a snapshot i could think of loads of other things if i thought about it. i am happy to let ds wear second hand shoes. some people are really funny about that. and when we were cooking the other day ds' friends mum wouldn't let her ds lick the bowl out after cos of raw egg. wtf that's the best part!! same person also doesn't let her child climb up the slide even when there's no one else waiting to use it.

he doesn't have a set bedtime either and if he goes a day or two without eating i don't get overly stressed about it. he's a chunky boy and i know he'll eat eventually.

oh and the other day at my work there was a little boy who came in dressed as spider man and some of my colleagues were saying why would you let your child come out like that (non-parents) i explained it is much easier to pick your battles and getting into a struggle with a 3 year old to change out of his beloved spiderman outfit isn't one of them.

i let him have a taste of tea, coffee and wine or beer. he will dip his fingers in and have a suck. i thought it would discourage him from doing again but now he just thinks he can stick his fingers in anyone's drink when no one's looking. i also let him eat in the car and whilst walking around which i know some people don't like incase they choke. don't do that cutting grapes in half thing either.

we don't have stairgates, fireguards, plug covers, cupboard locks etc.

i don't mind ds looking a bit rough around the edges. he doesn't like his hair brushed so we leave that most of the time and he often wears odd socks. he likes to draw on his hands and face in felt tip pen which is impossible to get off so sometimes he has to go out like it. i let him roll in mud and splash in puddles and streams and would let him climb trees if he could. oh and if he wants to wear a tutu and push a pram around whatever.

i don't tidy up as much as i should and we don't do ironing. he jumps and climbs on the furniture which i don't stress about. i let him sit on the worktop. i am pretty confident that at almost 2 he isn't going to fall off. oh and he doesn't have to eat at the table.

he's allowed to play in the garden shock horror on his own. have left him in the car once or twice to go into a shop for 5 mins aswell and i've left him in his cot once to go to the end of the road and post a letter. in the summer i leave him in his cot having a nap and we all sit outside in either our garden or next door's.

i don't worry about big bouncy dogs wanting to lick his face. or paedos being on every street corner. ds loves to strip off and i don't mind. might have to change this as he gets older though.

ds has the sort of skin that doesn't really burn easily so unless its really hot and he's going round totally naked i don't bother to much with sun cream. we use those wipes and even then its just a quick wipe over. not bothered about hats - ds refuses to keep them on anyway so its a lost battle.

i let him play with what he wants including saucepans, doors, keys, lightswitches, phones, calculators etc oh and he likes to drink bathwater and suck the bath sponge for fun. some people only let their dc play with toys. i find that bizarre.

we don't do bedtime stories - he just gets one read whenever he asks. he prefers to "read" them by himself and snatches the book off me anyway.

dont make a fuss if he hurts himself. i just say up you get you're alright. people are often amazed that if he falls over he doesn't cry much.

his newest thing is refusing to wear shoes so yesterday he spent an hour walking around the garden with nothing on his feet. even when he scratched them all it didn't stop him.

oh and catching cold what's that about? i go out with wet hair all the time and have never "caught cold" so i let ds do the same.

And yes i am that bored that I have sat here for the last 10 mins thinking of things.

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nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 02:39

waoh didn't realise i'd written that many things. perhaps i should have limited it. i am so gonna get slated for being neglectful now.

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