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hands up if you are a slummy mummy??

537 replies

nappyaddict · 13/04/2008 01:09

fantastic website here to give you tips

come on own up! what things do you do that make people gasp in horror? are you the sort of mum who wipes dummies and bottle tears on your tshirt and gives straight back if they get dropped? i have done it with biscuits too stuff the 3 second rule - it's 10 seconds here!! i always forget to wash my hands after nappy changes too and tbh i only use wipes and water for poohey nappies. with wet ones i just take it off and put the new one on straight away

i am often forgetting to brush ds' teeth. we never brush them at nighttime and he will sometimes go 2 days without having them brushed. must remember to step this up a bit when he gets his adult teeth.

i don't change ds' nappy as often as i should. i did have to dry ds trousers under the handdryer in the toilets though cos i had left one on too long. usually try and change him about every 4 hours but sometimes i just ... forget. he normally only has a bath and hairwash once a week but episodes like this mean he sometimes has an extra one midweek.

also once when we weren't travelling far and it was pitch black i didn't strap the car seat in properly, just put it on the back seat. we had a very awkward car seat that in 2 peoples cars does not strap in properly. i just made sure the front seat is right against it so it can't go anywhere. our car seat was one of those that lies flat when on the pushchair, so in the car is meant to be in the most upright position. at 3 months old this didn't look very comfortable but did it anyway as i couldnt get the car seat in my friends car if i didn't. cue gasps from this woman saying oooh he shouldn't be upright like that. cue her saying oh my dd got her ds one of those door bouncers - you should get him one. now to me they look dangerous!

oh and not really child related but i rarely wear a seatbelt myself. i do in other people's cars though ...

oh and weight limits and warnings on baby products. ds sat in his baby seat for months after he could sit up and was over the weight limit.

the only thing i would be anal about really is drawing on walls and ripping wallpaper which luckily ds hasn't done yet. he is allowed to play with balls in the house, and ride his trike and ride ons in the house too. i also let him push his cars along the wall. have to watch him at other people's houses cos they usually tell their kids off for that. will let him skate in the house too when he's old enough.

not at this stage yet, but my mum used to sometimes let me have the day off school just because and i will probably let ds occasionally have a day off. for me it was usually because i hadn't done some homework that was due in.

when i go out for the day and take milk i just shove it in my handbag - no chilled cool bags for ds! oh and i feed him cold milk and have fed him cold baby food before. i often don't plan meals then he is screaming for dinner so in a mad panic i will open the fridge i give him whatever is edible uncooked. yesterday he had ham, malt loaf with butter and a cherry yohghurt altogether on his highchair. he ate the yoghurt first. today he had banana, meatballs, yoghurt and chocolate brioche.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
niceglasses · 13/04/2008 15:27

I've done a good bit of the items NA points out - mainly the ones that are rooted in my own upbringing so:

Not much sterisation
No stair gates/plug guards
Allow playing out probably earlier than most
Not overly fussed about food if it balances.
Not testing temp water/no sep baby bath
Prob let them go longer than some would in wet nappies.

I'd disagree with the seatbelts, but I think that point has been made.

I really think this is a very very long way from 'neglect' or doing the scl run 'swiging from a bacardi breezer'.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 15:29

Oh and very much the not waking from naps. Never wake a sleeping baby was my motto -unless very late in day.

There is a huge scale of parenting.

WallOfSilence · 13/04/2008 15:30

You know, reading this thread again I cannot believe you are posting this.

You should be ashamed of yourself for some of the stuff and the rest just shows how immature you really are.

Well, either immature or stupid.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

toomanyshoes · 13/04/2008 15:39

Christ, I think you need to grow up. It makes me really that you seem to think neglecting your childs teeth, diet, hygiene and safety is somehow ok. Its not.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 15:46

I think in my (too long) number of years on MN I have seen all of the following on separate threads:

Shall I wake my baby if he sleeps too long?
Shall I bother with stairgates?
Shall I bother with sterilisation?
Do you bother testing bathwater?
I'm having a slummy day in pjs! Hurrahhh.
I'm not strict about teeth cleaning..........

ad nauseum.

And it is usually greeted with good humoured banter. [I appreciate the seat belt one is different]

I think the reaction to this is because its all in one post.

toomanyshoes · 13/04/2008 15:52

is not strapping in the car seat usually greeted with good humoured banter? don't think so.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 15:53

She repeats from previous post:

[I appreciate the seat belt one is different]

toomanyshoes · 13/04/2008 15:54

sorry, just seen you had mentioned the seat thing. I think its that NA actually sounds quite proud of it all. Very odd IMO

getmeouttahere · 13/04/2008 15:55

Niceglasses, those you list are not my main bugbear. I identify with some of those.

Respect for property, respect for other people, basic safety and being a half-way decent role model for children are non-negotiable in my world.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 15:57

Do you? Guess thats perception then - I took it as a light thread. She certainly hasn't bitten back at anyone.

I think its good to counter the other kinds of up tight threads we get. But then I think there is far too much up tightness around parenting as a whole.

Anyhoo, I'll let NA speak for herself now.

WallOfSilence · 13/04/2008 16:00

Niceglasses: Have you also saw some saying:

"I have left my son unattended in the bath"

or

"I put my 1 year old in the baby carrier & he's far too big, surely this will be safe"

She also says she doesn't wash hands after changing nappies or after going to the loo... in a later post she says she doesn't wash hands before having dinner... jeez, sounds really healthy doesn't it?

Am a little confused by this though: "he still drinks out of a bottle at nearly 2 cos he won't entertain the idea of a sippy cup." Seeing as she was posting last week to see if any MNers had any!

kerryk · 13/04/2008 16:00

i suppose we all kind some corners to make life a bit easier but i class a lot of what is in the op as neglect.

a girl i went to school with left her 3 year old (so older than the op's) in the bath alone, she insists it was only for 30 secs but in that time he had slipped backwards and gone under the water. when she found him she ran round to her neighbour who is a fireman and he managed to bring him around before the ambulance arrived. the boy is alive but severly brain damaged

i am also really strict about car seat, what does it matter how fast you going? its the boy racer or drunk driver that you come across on the journey home that could change your life forever, by making sure your child is strapped into a safe car seat you are doing all you can to protect them if a accident occurs which you have no control over.

iloatheironing · 13/04/2008 16:01

It's not just the neglect it is the fact that if or when something does go wrong napppy will have to live with the consequences of her actions. Or rather her ds will. I've just read through her list again and I find it hard to believe that she would do some of those things never mind brag about it on here.

Most do their very best by their children and I'm sure that nappy would never intentionally set out to endanger her ds's health or wellbeing but the nature of her post shows she is well aware that her claims are bound to cause the response they have. I can't believe, for example, that she can not see the merit of washing her hands after nappy changing and before eating. Maybe a good old dose of d&v will change her mind. Nasty for her but life threatening for a small child.
I know some are over cautious with their kids but this opposite extreme is just as bad if not worse.

getmeouttahere · 13/04/2008 16:02

I think it was meant as a light thread.

I agree, perhaps we shouldn't be discussing NappyAddict as if she wasn't here.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 16:02

The only things you could possibly say were nearing 'no respect for other pple' etc would be maybe

Not saying sorry for grabbing toy if had it first

OR

Hitting back

The rest are, just another scale of parenting.

I wouldn't advocate either of those esp the first one, but I know lots and lots who do esp the second one - when they are scared of their kids growing up 'soft' Their words, not mine.

I still think this is a long long way from 'neglect'

WallOfSilence · 13/04/2008 16:05

I would class someone leaving their baby inside alone or in the bath alone as neglect.. And I'm sure ss would too.

Only takes a second for a baby to drown/pull something down on top of himself.

talkingmongoose · 13/04/2008 16:05

one thing stood out to me, the just putting on a new nappy when old one is wet, and not using wipes - seriousky I didn't know you were meant to use wipes! I've always used wipes only for poos.

Oh God.

getmeouttahere · 13/04/2008 16:06

Niceglasses, if you are responding to my comment re. no respect for other people, at no time did I use the word "neglect".

If you meant in general, ignore this

frisbyrat · 13/04/2008 16:10

Just use a damp flannel for wees, mongoose! Wipes are evil. Make sure it's a flannel of an easily-identifiable colour, though, lest you end up using it on your face.

DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe · 13/04/2008 16:15

BUT, not wearing seatbelts is just CRAP, crap not to care about yourself enough to wear them and SUCH a bad example for your son.
Letting your child have a day off school because they haven't done homework is again giving the wrong messages (it's ok to not do your work because there won't be consequences, you can stay at home instead...unfortunately, much later in life employers won't take the same view)
The stairgates thing is a personal choice but I had them so I didn't have to be checking all the time on dc, I knew they were safe (lazy rather than slummy)
You sound quite young (and I see from your profile you are...and glam...can't see the snot from there....) and a bit desperate to prove that disorganised is cool.

niceglasses · 13/04/2008 16:15

General, oh yes, not at anyone in particular.

I seem to have gotten into someone elses row! Def going now.

lucyellensmum · 13/04/2008 16:15

nappy?? How much time did you have on your hands today . I dont believe for a second that any of that is true.

getmeouttahere · 13/04/2008 16:17

lol, niceglasses, me too

WatsTheStory · 13/04/2008 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

iloatheironing · 13/04/2008 16:20

I'm not talking about her as though shes not here. She has the opportunity to read and respond to these comments and I hope she does read this. If it changes her attitude to her son's welfare it will be worth it imo. I speak from experience. Living with the guilt of an unavoidable event is hard enough but to come to terms with the injury or death of a child which could have been avoided must be impossibly hard.
And, by her own admission, she seems to allow her ds to do just what he wants I'm very glad I won't be teaching him when he starts school. Maybe she should consider home ed. I certainly wouldn't recommend child minding as a career!