No one coming to DS's party. Should I cancel?

[Doritosforever]

Hi All,
I've booked a party for my 6 year old DS and no one seems to want / be able to come. I had 1 response by the RSVP deadline, so have chased all via WhatsApp or at the school gates. All have either seen WhatsApp and ignored it or said they can't make it.
I sent the invite out 2.5 weeks before with a RSVP of 7 days before the party. We invited all but 3 in the class (various reasons). The teacher said my DS is liked by all and plays with lots of different children.
I had to pay in advance and was a minimum of 20 kids, so £150 paid. We were doing our own food, the party is Saturday so not got it yet.
Currently 1 child from school going and 1 from out of school. The out of school parents didn't bother to reply either!
How depressing will it be having 3 kids in a room that fits 40.
Would you cancel? Should I cancel? DS is very emotional and will be heart broken either way.

Oh, I’m sorry that is tough. I have to say that I would have sent out invites a lot earlier because people do get booked up. Not blaming you but just saying don’t take it as a rejection of your son, people are just busy. It is crap they didn’t respond though.

Yes I think I would cancel and do a special outing with your son instead, maybe with the friends who can make it if they are good friends, or just as a family. I hope you can manage to have a lovely day.

You left 3 kids out of a whole class, out? Can't think what the reasons might possibly be but it seems a bit heartless! Can you invite family members to add to the guest list?

Do something fun in the space with the children that you have coming. Wiggle cars? That kind of thing?
Can you invite family to fill up all the space?
Don't cancel, you've paid and you can still make it fun.

All schools have bullies. My son and most of the class are petrified of 1 of the boys. Only last week he grabbed my sons glasses off his face, broke them and then pushed him, all why stood next to the teacher to see! My DS cried when I suggested inviting him. So yes I am truly heartless

Leaving three out really isn't the done thing. That was poor form. Do others know you've done that? I'd be backing away from a parent who thought that was appropriate at this age.

Putting that aside, it's a difficult time of year for parties, everyone's wrapping up to finish school, people are away etc. 2.5 weeks notice isn't much. I'd send one last cheerful text as you need to know numbers and then inviting others from outside school if your son has other friends who aren't invited. You could also consider rescheduling for September.

I don’t think all schools have bullies. Your son’s school sounds pretty awful if this is happening and hasn’t been nipped in the bud, to be honest.

But realistically that’s not the reason people aren’t coming, it’s that you’ve given 2.5 weeks notice in a really busy time of the year. It’s summer holidays time, day trips, family BBQs. It’s just not enough notice for most people at this time of year.

What place is it? Instead of having an empty hall, and if you have money to spare, I'd take the 3 kids to somewhere else instead. Do they like a theme park? Or bowling? Something more suitable for a smaller group. I have older girls, so can't think of what a group of 6 year old boys would like.

Your son school sounds awful though. For my DCs, 6 year olds still have whole class parties and they are always well attended.

I'd cancel and take the ones that can come bowling or to the cinema instead.

I really don’t think that the issue is with your son OP, it is more than you’ve given very little notice in an extremely busy time of year. People will inevitably already have plans made. I usually did invites 6 weeks in advance

I’d cancel for now, do a special activity with your DS and the kids that are available to come and then rebook the whole class party for Autumn term.

I’m really sorry OP, that’s really shit. I don’t think 2.5 weeks was unreasonable as people also moan if sent too far in advance.

Do the people coming have siblings they could bring? Do you have any of YOUR friends with kids that you could explain the situation to, and see if they’re able to come? I wouldn’t mind that if someone was honest about it.

If people can’t make it then fair enough but I really can’t bear people who don’t RSVP to kids parties. Its so rude and inconsiderate.

That's really awful for you but I agree you need to get invites in way in advance as everyone I know gets their weekends booked up at this time of year
No help now though, sorry.

Definitely look at cancelling and doing an ad-hoc trip to a soft play, bowling or clip n climb kind of thing? Would actually be lots of fun with a smaller group. My 6yo invited 6 kids to a soft play for her party.

Or even a good old fashioned home party with games, pizza etc? Could you even have a bouncy castle if you have garden space?

If people can’t make it then fair enough but I really can’t bear people who don’t RSVP to kids parties. Its so rude and inconsiderate.

And yes this. Don't know if we've got lucky but our class WhatsApp are always pretty quick to say if they can/cant come, obviously some need chasing or don't reply, but it's not the norm for a whole class to just rudely ignore.

Are you still waiting for many responses? If everyone who has not replied came, would you have enough for a party?
I'd be inclined to have one last push, telling parents they need to let you know by Friday (or whatever). Then I would do something else for the smaller number.
Your DS will be fine with no party, so long as he gets some fuss on his special day.
Having the event in September (this is what I always had to do for my summer born) could be an option for another time. Or maybe you could move this one to then?

Not inviting bully is fine, but if it's a class of 30, then inviting 27 is not great (fine if it's a class of 10 or so)

I can totally understand why some kids would be left off the invites list, bad children aren’t the schools fault, some kids are just awful even at 6- even worse if the parents are rough or generally vile too. Agree with others about the timing though OP, it’s quite short notice for this time of year when weekends will be spent day tripping etc.

There was not enough weekends in the year to fit all kids parties with other stuff, yes not rsvp-ingredients is rude but it would help not having invite everyone or nearly everyone parties then having to keep up with all the rsvp's

Some may just turn up on the day, have you asked as many as possible individually. Is it just a hall you've booked or activities? I'd be thinking of a plan B for the hall or somewhere nearby if hardly anyone shows up. A few children can still have fun together.

Aw I'm sorry, that's so heartbreaking for your son 😔 does he have any cousins/friends outside of school you could invite? Failing that, I would cancel the party and let him take a couple of his best friends for a special day out. We did that for DS 5th birthday, just his two besties and a cousin for a trip to the farm and they had the best time. Or have a really special day out as a family to celebrate.

I agree that you need to give more notice at this time of the year. I tend to put invites out a month in advance at any time of the year. Is there any chance there's another class party happening and everyone has rsvp'd to that one instead?

2.5 weeks in advance just isn’t enough notice, especially this time of year. We would have already scheduled days out and other events around the parties we already had in the diary, so probably wouldn’t be free to slot another one in. We sent out the invites to my dds party which is a similar time to your DS 2 months ago and have 20 kids coming.

In my experience, you will get a slew of 'yes' replies 3 or 4 days before.
People don't want to commit when we are in the midst of a good spell of weather

If you only sent invites 2.5 weeks before the party then that's your issue, not your DD. You need to give as much notice as possible- at least 4-6 weeks.

I suspect the parents got wind of you leaving out only 3 kids from a large class size and voted with their feet, possibility led by one or more of the parents whose kid got left out. You would have been better only inviting half the class so it's less 'obvious', it's really not the done thing to leave out only 3 no matter what the circumstances and has probably reflected badly on you. At this point I would cancel and have a nice day out somewhere with the 2 who are coming.

I have been throwing parties for 16 years and find the exact opposite.

I usually send them out 3-4 weeks in advance when we book it just to avoid other parent booking the same day/time and because DS birthday is right after a school break. Half of people don't RSVP until the last minute... theres always a flurry in the 2 days before a party. Many don't RSVP until about a week before, only 1 or 2 ever reply in advance.

The earlier you send invite the more people lose/forget about them I have found.

Someone mentioned clip and climb. That’s quite good for this age group. For my older kids with much smaller parties, we usually go to places like this and then home for delivery pizza. Depending if there are places to eat nearby the activity, we once had all you can eat Pizza Hut and it was brilliant too. Activities I can think of either hosted by us or their friends inclide climbing, laser tag, ice skating, ninja warrior, trampoline, escape room, bowling, arcades, skydiving and go ape. The beauty of these are you seldom have to book in advance (or at most a day or two). Hope you can find something else.

What a shame. Can you cancel the hall and do something smaller at home?