wish i was not an older mum

[burgercokefries]

There ive said it i hate being an older mum.
Im 51 with a 5 year old what was i thinking.
Im tired im cranky in the mist of peri.

Just wanted a wee rant i cant tell people IRL they will think im selfish.

I hear ya!

52 year old single parent with 15 & just-turned-11.

Fuck, it's hard work.

And dating as an older single parent-,that is absolutely hell!

Most people had kids younger & aren't interested in having one with someone who has young kids at home.

post menopausal & a bit ragey about everything

Why the most unlikely accident ever? Lots of women are able to conceive over 40, it's hardly rare!!

That's debatable!

I will be very honest with anyone that wants a baby when they are heading in to their 50s but already have grown up kids dont do it.
I know that sounds awful but honestly sometimes it is hormones talking.

This means you're going to be actively parenting for four decades. No wonder you're knackered. No judgement by the way, life happens and as you said, she's a very wanted child. But I think having a big age gap must take it's toll. I kind of think you either have them young then enjoy your middle age with new found freedom or you really enjoy a childfree 20s/30s then have them.

Rare to find a very honest thread on MN about being older parents.
My friend has said the same loves her children but wishes she never put it off for so long.
Always wanting it all before she had children now shes just wants her slippers.

@puddingisbest For many older parents it's not simply a case of "putting it off."

Gosh no wonder you are finding it hard.

Any thread with women wanting a 3/4/5th in their 40s I tell them it's their hormones. I was SO glad I was sterilised after my 4th as I still wanted more 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I was a step parent at 22 and had my 4th at 33. By 55 hopefully my youngest will be properly independent 🤞🤞🤞 meanwhile I have a houseful for pets instead 🫣

I appreciate your honesty and yes im going to be parenting for a long time.
I was looking at the now not the later.

My DB & SIL had triplets at 45/46. Their only DC but FML all the taxi duties and challenges of 3 teens when they are in their 60s 😳😳😳😳😳

The problem is 45 plus. Early 40s you have plateaued and still feel late 30s. I can see how you could be tricked into thinking it’s ok to have a baby. But dear god 45 onwards the shit hits the fan physically and mentally for me and literally every woman of this age I know. Even if fit and healthy

I understand its Not the case for all parents but it was for my friend.
Just nice to see an honest thread with no judgement.

Just to put the other side...I'm an older mum (older than anyone on here with DS9). Not by choice, it took ten years of heartbreak and multiple miscarriages before a pregnancy finally ended up with a baby and we were so close to giving up.

Now I'm on my own with him as XH turned out to be abusive. I am always tired, not a moment for myself, struggling to keep up with younger mums with kids the same age, and utterly skint because I can't work as much as I used to.

I have never been so happy, never felt so much love and so much purpose in my life; he is the best thing that ever happened to me and I thank my lucky stars for him every single day.

I had my ds (my only) at 45, OP.

The only advice I can give is to work on your fitness. Run, swim, walk, eat well, cut out alcohol and get plenty of sleep. I managed my tiredness by increasing my fitness, and it definitely helped.

I'm 60 now and it's all stabilised. and very civilised. Stick with it.

I think it's because you are peri. Not because you have a 5yo.
Give yourself a bit of leeway to adjust to the changes.
It'll get better.
When I was peri, I could have had an argument and an exhausted cry at anything!

That was me, now I have teenagers and honestly it is great.

I’m 51 with a 7 year old and a 9 month old! Just got to keep going, it will surely get easier! Xx

@burgercokefries I hear you! Im 47 with a 3yo, a 10 month old and older children of 26, 23 and 20! It's hard, really, really hard

47 here with a non-sleeping 1 year old. Send help.

I think the same. It's very much a lifestyle choice to have them across four decades!

I'm 59 with a 15 year old. My only one, and after a decade of trying. So I guess it's a different situation, but I have loved it. I do try very hard to stay fit and healthy though.

I understand and sympathise, I had my third child at 41.
It has been very challenging!
Yes, we adore our children, but day to day life is exhausting when you're menopausal with young children.
I would not have left it so late if I knew what I know now

Can i join the rant love the honesty on here.
I hear you loud and clear op im 48 with a 3 year old and I HATE IT love my son to bits.
But as a single mum some days i do think WTF have i done this for.
My partner ran off because it was all to much at his age he was 49 hes a pig.
And like you i too have an adult child well twins 22 and moved on why didnt i stop there??? Life was good freedom no worries.
I have told my daughters if you want children do it before your 40s.
It looked so easy and cool being the older mum and honestly i had my head in the clouds.
Im more skint now than what i was with my twins cost of living to blame.
less hours at work.
And have to deal with tantrums on a daily basis.
Its not all fun and games it really is harder as you get older and i hate earing the word they keep me young bullshit ive aged more in 3 years.
And dont get me started with nursery dramas childcare.
Knowing what i know now no way would i have done it.
When you hit somewhere in your 40s and think i want a baby go get counselling.
I only have myself to blame.
Rant over that felt good.

But his smile says it was all worth it.❤

I couldnt cope with a 7 year old and a 9 month old at 51.
😲wow you must be super mum.
im struggling with a 4 year old at 38.

💐