Having my newborn son half of the week.

[QuirkyRoseFox]

Hi all,

My ex-partner is pregnant with our child, we broke up due to her inability to accept my autism diagnosis is a disability and her constant attempts to dismiss my daily lived experience with it....it lead to immense frustration and caused me a great deal of upset.

How likely do you think I would fair in a court situation in terms of getting an agreement in place to have him half the week? She has already stated she will not be breast feeding him so I don't think there's a need for him to stay with her all the time.

I'm looking to arm myself with the relevant facts and get things in place incase that conversation does not go as plans and she objects to the idea, he is my son too and I will want quality time with him and to form that bond.

No chance

Start by thinking what's beast for the baby and not what's best for you.

Absolutely zero chance you’ll get overnights with a newborn. Expect to work up to that by age 2.

it’s highly non standard to be given 50/50 from birth for multiple reasons. The key one being it is not in the best interest of the child….

as a general question:
Are you noise sensitive?

It is an insane idea and there is not a court in the land that would separate a newborn baby from its mother.

Are you the biological father?

Yes....having his father in his life as well as his mother in equal measure would be good for him of course.

You want to separate a newborn from his/her mother for half the week?

I am

You need to think what’s best for the baby, and being ripped from his mother half the week so you can play daddy, is not the best. You need to set up visititation before you look at custody

No chance of 50/50 and a newborn.

but separating a new born baby from his father is fine then is it?

Absolutely not.

You’d be better advised to ask for some time with your baby at your ex’s house. A court will not separate a newborn from his or her mum.

You have no idea what a newborn needs. Stop being delusional and selfish

I don't think there's a need for him to stay with her all the time.. FFS.

Overnight, not a hope especially if his dm breastfeeds.

Guess what? Mum and baby already form a bond during pregnancy. Yes it’s different and a father does not mean the same to a newborn. Do some reading

There are a few biological differences between a mother and a father. Newborns need to be close to their mums.

Yes.

No… as a newborn he won’t care. Ultimately yes, but certainly not as a newborn.

You sound completely ignorant, you should be embarrassed.

This is horrible and would likely cause long-term trauma for the baby. You simply cannot separate a newborn from their mother (unless the mother is a danger to them or something). For the first three years of life, the child needs to form a secure attachment to their mother and this is done by being in contact with her day by day. Interfering with this would set them up for a lifetime of psychological trauma.

If the alternative is separating it from its mother than yes.

Because you are not the primary carer…. And the baby bluntly needs/ knows its mother who it’s been living inside for 9 months.

Newborn children already have a psychological attachment to their mother.

They can recognise their mother's voice, recognise her smell etc.

You can take newborns away from their mother for substantial periods of time but it has a negative impact on the child. There is a reason that (for example) if a new mother gets pnd or psychosis and needs to be admitted the baby goes too.

So no court will give you that because they will be thinking of the best interests of the child.

You will need to build an attachment with the child which you can do be being around and meeting their needs. Only once the attachment is built will the child be able to be separated from the mother without negative impact.

It's totally different. The mother and child have an actual biological and hormonal bond formed through pregnancy and birth.